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James Shark, 28 y.o.
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He's only 34 and already has teenage kids?
I would have never dated him knowing this initially, but I don't know how I can be with someone who had such disturbing thoughts towards me in the past. I feel psychologically manipulated and used.
He 100% psychologically manipulated you in order to get you date him, so of course these are not thoughts he would have shared with you.
I do find it interesting that he shared these disturbing things with you. The fact that he did not show remorse or acknowledge how absolutely MESSED UP these actions and inclinations were is terrifying.
I almost think he is trying to desensitize you to what you know to be wrong. And that he says is trying to draw a comparison between your character flaws and his by saying that you are being unfair because he has accepted your shortcomings is A FURTHER MANIPULATION on his part.
He is all kinds of messed up, and I think you are just beginning to scratch the surface of what truly lies beneath. Sociopaths can mimic normal behavior for quite some time, but eventually they will reveal themselves and/or attempt to corrupt your mind to similar ways of thinking.
I won't even tell you how the relationship with my sister and her husband went. She was always a trainwreck, so when she end up with “him” – seemingly nice guy, handsome, good job, nice house … I couldn't make heads or tails of it. Even I was fooled. Sociopaths can be incredibly charming people. She was a full blown alcoholic, and as long as he kept her plied with alcohol, she was easily manipulated into the most depraved of activities.
You NEED to get away from this man. Block everything on social media, change all passwords, change locks, carry pepper spray, get some security doorbells or something, and inform your friends that things got icky.
I am very afraid for you as to what he will do now that you are not a willing participant in life. Honestly, you should go file a police report. Tell them that you don't need any action taken, but you JUST WANT IT ON RECORD … should anything happen.
Exactly my thoughts. Absolutely insane that anyone thinks they're mature enough to get married & have children under 30… I've had enough relationships to know that being with someone for 5 years, still isn't enough to know if they're the one.
OP you have many years ahead of you. Life isn't about speedrunning.
No matter how equipped you think you are, nobody is ready, at 21 years old, to bring another life into this world & properly nourish & support it.
I hope both of you have extremely supportive families that you can lean on. You are only children yourself.
Eva Rodsky: Fair Play. Read it, please: it helps to resolve such conflicts.