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I appreciate the advice and comments, guys! I will be deleting this post shortly afterwards as well. Again, thank you and have a great day to all of you!
at the time i still loved him and wanted him so i did continue to talk to him as a way to patch our relationship
I am the same as you… I always want to immediately talk things out, explain my thoughts, and come to a resolution. I have realized that isn't how everybody handles the situation. Some people need to walk away, take a few hours, maybe a night to sleep on it, THEN revisit the issue. Even though you both are upset, if one person responds more emotionally than the other, it is bound to escalate. You guys need to give each other some space when you have a big disagreement… take some time to think it through on your own, then talk about it again when your emotions have cooled, and you have each been able to consult your internal therapists.
He did. Nice guy and a good friend but rigid. My assumption was that he was uptight and could only use his own washroom.
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She’ll be pregnant and trapped within a year.
This statement alone (referring to yourself as beautiful) makes me think you might be missing something, or that you're a little socially unaware. Just ask him why he untagged the pic.
I am in no way saying that cheating is not a terrible thing to have to go through, nor am I saying that the cheater did the right thing, just that there is a pervasive idea on this sub specifically that cheating is akin to committing war crimes.
I also recognize that it impacts people differently but if after a decade someone has not been able to move past it they are making a choice to continue to be unhappy.
Don’t do it. And if/when your gf says something about it when you get back – it would have been nice if you’d have proposed while in Italy – you tell her the truth: the sister’s boyfriend called dibs when he gave the heads up that he was gonna propose! You’re off the hook precisely BECAUSE the sister is getting HER proposal on the Italy trip instead and that’s HER engagement. You do NOT piggyback on other people’s engagements. It’s tacky and in poor taste. Your GF deserves her own proposal in her own time and she should look to her big sis for guideline on that: when you’re closer to 30 (ie 26/27 like big sis) is when you’re more likely to get engaged because you both have your life more together by then. Her pressuring you this way isn’t okay. Under no circumstances should you propose in the way she suggests either as she’ll expect it (ie in Italy) and the surprise and planning effort of a proposal is what makes a proposal great. You got a lot to think about mate.
Yeah you’re right. And I know that. I guess I just wish she would tell me that instead of dragging me through whatever emotional rollercoaster this has been. It also just sucks how high stakes this is, with it being within my friend group and all
Am I nuts?
Nuts is the wrong word.
What you are is woefully lacking in self worth, with severely low standards.
This isn't normal. This isn't okay. It's not okay to cheat on your partner this much.
The reason he's not letting you follow him is because he's a serial cheater. He is probably cheating on your right now.
Look, this isn't ever going to get better, you have to understand that. If he didn't change after the first infidelity, he sure as hell isn't gonna change after the tenth.
Right now, you are the one who needs to change. You need to raise your standards. You need to gain some self confidence. You need to take a look at your life and say “uh, why the hell am I letting this cheater take advantage of me so much? I don't deserve to be treated so badly.”
He's not worth it kid. Trust me.
Yes this was written by a guy haha
The 29 year old who hires 18 year old assistants then bangs them, would NEVER lie. How dare you speculate.
Idk why you’re being downvoted. He’s picked the man out of the relationship and purposely excluded the woman in it and the book keeper. She’s the only one being excluded… and it’s because she’s the women in the relationship otherwise the boss would have gotten them to split their share.
He’s clearly seen the man in the relationship as alpha. It’s like giving the throne to the first male born. She’s been excluded not because she’s a woman but because she’s the woman in the relationship.
You are helping him baby trap you. He shouldn’t be frustrated or abusive to control you getting pregnant. If he is forcing it on his timeline then he has other plans in the works. Sometimes it doesn’t happen for a reason and it’s because it’s supposed to be with the right person. He doesn’t sound like the right partner for you.
You are royally fucked if you stay. If you leave you can still get your job back. Start squirreling money, you dog have to leave overnight. Document everything that's happening before you leave.
He wants absolute power over you.
I agree with all of this you said. I think it’s pretty accurate
You should be 100% committed to doing what's right for you both… Why be committed to preserving the marriage if the marriage isn't working? I'm not saying you have to give up here, just don't hang all your hopes on it working out because currently, it looks like your wife doesn't care too much about that – and it takes two to go the distance – you can't just will it into happening by yourself.
Your wife is emotionally cheating on you. That's a big thing to deal with and you should accept not being married in the future may be the healthier alternative.
Also, regarding your wife's stringent standards for your workplace friendships and paranoia over cheating, this is called projection. Your wife was so suspicious of your relationships with women because she either A) couldn't imagine having a similar relationship and not cheating and/or B) craves validation and attention – driving her to cheat on you while remaining paranoid that you are doing the same to her.
Look at it this way: say you were being abused by your boyfriend and you confided in your friend about it, just looking for some support and compassion. Your friend starts pressuring you to break up with your boyfriend, but you're financially dependent on your boyfriend. Your friend wouldn't be wrong for wanting you to leave your boyfriend, but she'd be wrong for ignoring the reasons it's difficult and putting pressure on you for not leaving him immediately.
He’s an idiot for saying it’s not a sexual act but it sounds like what he’s trying to say is he would sometimes like oral sex that doesn’t lead to sex or isn’t immediately reciprocated, which I think is a fair thing to ask for and something that many couples do.
Of course, whether you feel comfortable or want to do it is a whole other question. You absolutely shouldn’t feel like you have to, but assuming he’s also down to perform oral sex on you without an immediate expectation of reciprocation, I think it’s a fair thing for him to desire as a part of your sex life.
I dont have him on social media so I reached out to a mutual girlfriend to see if hes single .Dont want to message and he's taken .That would be unbelievably embarrassing .
It doesn’t sound like your wife would have any boundaries with him. So technically she’s not lying.
So your husband pimped you out without your knowledge and facilitated your rape, multiple times, and his brother was a willing rapist. It wasn't just you, they raped multiple women.
Done y ever let anyone, them or anything else, convince you that what's happened is anything less than that. Your brother in law is a rapist. Your husband is a rape facilitator.
How would you ever move past knowing your husband arranged your rape? Multiple times?
How would you react if your best friend told you this story?
And yes. You tell the other rape victims
Spot the American
Your boyfriend is a bad boyfriend. Generally people old enough to be graduated from college dating people fresh out of high school aren't the picture of decent people.
Recognize that you've outgrown this 30 y/o child.
She will text him that it's platonic??? Sorry but this has already gone much farther than that already. She is already fucking him. Just do yourself a favor and kick her out. Let her move in with him and his wife