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And how am I throwing away my self-respect? I don't quite understand that portion
Yep! His friends have weird boundaries. Especially to be worked up about the gf taking HER BF to a sushi place the day before. That doesn’t warrant for her to start calling her names. That’s out of line. Sounds like his friends are lowkey jealous. Especially since one of them went as far as saying the gf is not the one for him and blah blah blah. Just wow.
Eh…I could almost give her a pass on this. Each person will have boundries for what they consider cheating. There is a bunch of stuff that most people agree on, but you're going to have extremes on either end. What's important is defining it for your relationship. I would even go so far as saying that if your cheating boundries don't line up, it could be a yellow flag that you don't have similar morals and the relationship might not be a good fit.
For me, the lack of accountability is the problem. Dude is making his mistake her problem and it's four months in. I would bounce.