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Block him. Do not respond. He is trying to manipulate you. Don’t fall into trying to he nice to him or giving him the benefit of the doubt.
He hasn’t changed and you already know who he is.
It’s a red flag. Sorry. You have to fix this together, if you want to have a chance to make it long term.
I’m sorry no, you need to breakup with him. His behavior isn’t only unacceptable it’s straight up abusive. He is actively trying to ruin your life, don’t you see that?
Take space away from him and see if your professor will let you makeup the exam if needed. But you need to leave this relationship. He will continue to ruin your life. Don’t even have him email your professors, you need distance from this person.
If your husband and friend start giving you reasons why she shouldn’t get tested, then you need to put your foot down and demand one. You need to make her get tested either way, but if you let them convince you not to, then you can go ahead and use this comment section to remind you what really went down.
Walk away ! You are in love with the notion of being in love . This girl is a bottomless pit that thrives on drama and attention . You will burn yourself out with this .
If you bought it do not put him on the deed. He is abusive and itll only escalate from here. Id consult a lawyer to protect your assets from this unhinged asshole
Don't even need to read the whole thing. She needs pro help. Ur all good.
you've decided to MARRY this? this relationship…for the rest of your life? that's the kind of man you want to commit to? Remember, marriage doesn't equal happiness. Your relationship needs to be healthy for that and you need to choose and evaluate a proper partner, who's good and kind and considerate and has your back no matter what. not this terrible dude.
Hope you feel better about yourself. Being called misogynist doesn’t work anymore. You’re shooting blanks and no one’s running.
I would just leave her alone for a bit… Check in on her once or twice a week.. ever suggested talking on the phone or FaceTime?
Switch gyms and switch boyfriends
this doesn’t apply to your post but i wish my boyfriend felt this way:( my /w33d/ dealer has tried getting nudes out of me for cheaper prices for a year now and my boyfriend doesn’t care; he backs me up on everything but i just wish he felt an ounce of jealousy or uncertainty about others being interested in me to that extent
His father passed away 3 weeks ago and you're bitter that he's spending more time with his mom?
Read that out loud and think on your feelings there
But she can’t she hasn’t respected your late wife to now so she won’t. She can’t because she is competing with her in her mind
I was raised religious and I don’t believe that God punishes us for loving in healthy and passionate ways. I think you should take a look into different kinds of teachings of the bible. If you believe what you believe because you were raised with it, you don’t know any different. If you were raised in another country you’d believe something different. And I don’t believe in a God that would send you to hell for simply being raised elsewhere and learning something different.
Just because you were taught one thing does not make it true. Research and independent thinking rather than believe this one specific interpretation of lessons that have existed for thousands of years is best.
I have never understood why in a world of so much pain and evil and suffering, people believe that a righteous God would be sending people to hell and condemning them over something like this. Marriage is and has pretty much always been a government contract and God definitely isn’t saying “you’re a sinner if you aren’t signing a government contract.
Religious historically shames sex so I would do some looking into if it’s truly Gods will or an easier way for the church to historically control people. The church and its teachings do not equate to Gods words. They come from a man who had their own beliefs and wrote those beliefs down.
The solution is free thinking.
And, is her name Sue Johanson?
Yes, I am trying to do that. It just feels like I am holding back, which sucks, but I understand
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It sounds like she doesn’t want to give up a career otherwise she wouldn’t be posting here.
My aunt only got alimony for 2 years.
As a straight guy I can assure you matching romantic preference does not mean someone must date you.
Have you ever felt obligated to date any boy who asked you out because you both were straight (or bi or pan)? Same goes for everybody.
It's time to set some boundaries. She can't laugh at herself, tell her you're not enjoying her company. No one wants to walk on eggshells.
Yes, but those women weren't groomed by a predator while they were still in highschool, like your wife was.
Yikes. I don't think I'd be able to be around/keep my composure around someone like that. She sounds ridiculous and insecure, I would probably not be able to contain my laughter if she told me a story like that.
When you're 13, it's kind of forgivable. But when you're 33, it's embarrassing.
I think it’s time to find a new therapist, and also block her from your instagram. That is weird and creepy.
Side note: my instagram keeps suggesting I should follow my therapist, and I’m terrified that I will one day accidentally click and she will think I’m actually trying to follow her. I would be MORTIFIED
You did the right thing and you’re a better person for it. I’d definitely raise an eyebrow at any friend who suggested you try to make your friend pay for any portion. Thank you for helping restore some faith in humanity ?
This is going to sound shitty but why did you pick this woman to be your wife. The whole post emphasizes on how wonderful your mother is, yet wasn't her a considerations considered while picking a wife.
Maybe it's a cultural thing but i don't understand why you would be okay with your wife treating your mother, the single woman who raised you this way
If she wants to treat her support like shit because she finds her personal beliefs to be more important than that's on her and she has no one to blame but herself for the consequences.
This is so unfortunate, I know there is no way to have this amount of foresight at such a young age. but for the future: if someone tries to disconnect you from your friends/family, tries to wear down on your self confidence to strengthen their emotional control over you or abuses you in any way (physically, emotionally, sexually) you should do everything in your power to get away from that as quickly as possible.
Suck up your pride, call your parents and admit you were naive and made a huge mistake (honestly that is an understatement). If they won't help do the same thing with your friends. Tell them the truth. Finally, if they do not help you the last resource you have is public services like women's shelters or planned parenthood. Fortunately, it doesn't matter how bad you screwed up to these people they don't judge it's not their place.
It's pretty much the same thing but one is gender neutral.
Maybe remove the specifics from it. Think about it plainly. This is a man who you cannot trust. A man who constantly lies to you. A man who is so unreliable that he has now seriously jeopardised the things you have personally fought and worked for.
With all that, does it really mean enough that you love him? Does that outweigh the fact that he lies to you? Especially about such immensely important stuff?
Not that it's relevant but hugs from a fellow EDSer. I know that your anxiety and heart rate will be affected by all this stress and the pain from your collar. Support your arm. Don't do anything with it you know you shouldn't. Get it healed so you can eliminate that one part you have some control over.
I could tell it was just about trolling and I didn't feel like entertaining that but there could actually be people that might bring up the fact that it's her grandma argument, which is why I replied.
Try the password again in three week. Say nothing.
I agree unfortunately, thank you. I will have to talk to yim
Yah, you’re 19, you’re both going to change a ton, there’s a reason to wait until after 25 to make big decisions. If it’s not working, move on.
Sorry, but sounds like you are one of many ports this sheboat visits.
You are her anchor- her steady eddie. The rest are her satellites that orbit around her for someone unknown reason (probably because she hints that she is always keen for a hide the sausage game). She waits for them to orbit closer and she joins in. She is also normalizing this for you to. Notice how this erupted after you already expressed your boundary. She is now testing that boundary.
except he thinks his ex is a good person. He has said she is the only person who cares about him multiple times in the comments, so she probably isn't being manipulative; maybe she simply wants his mom's advice about something. OP needs professional Help
In my main comment, I did expand that on weeks she DOES work overtime she contribute a small percentage towards a financial goal of their mutual choice
But I can completely understand from a financial perspective not considering overtime part of her budgeting income, because it really shouldn’t be.
Why you keep saying 3? You mean 4? Cause he has a daughter too.
I agree the way he reacted and the situation is weird, but the way you talk about the house and everything is weird as well. Almost like a competition. Like are you really gonna move into a house that the ex wife lived in? Why do y’all need a bigger apartment when y’all don’t have the need for it yet? Just sounds like jealousy honestly
He's a narcissist…when his girlfriend is not around he reaches out to you. He needs constant attention. Block him. Cut contact with him. Be happy that you are not the girlfriend and he's talking to a side piece.
You’re not a brat. You don’t even have to ask questions. Just say, “I’d prefer if you drive.”
We all knew it was porn the moment we read it. This isn't even a movie depiction of sleepovers…its literally just in porn lol
Just ask him. Don’t think of it like a confrontation or that you’re accusing him.
“Hey, you don’t really owe me an answer since we’re not exclusive but I couldn’t help but notice some women’s hygiene stuff in your bathroom. Just was wondering if you’re seeing other people or if these are old.”
Yall have been together for 3 years and act so childish. After 3 years together and this is what yall fight about? Don't you think it's time to end the relationship and move on? Pretty obvious yall aren't really compatible at this point.
Edit: Just to clarify, the person he ditched me for is not going through the same thing I am. She’s his best friend who knows someone going through this as well and other struggles. He texted me all of this 10 minutes before he was supposed to meet me. Yes, he’s aware I have cancer and offered to help me while I was in treatment
Tell him that if he wants to be unconfused and casual for a while you can help, otherwise a father figure or a therapist may be good better strategies for him
All the NTA's make my head hurt. This is a def a NAH situation. I have been the girlfriend in a situation like this and it sucks. It's like your boyfriend still has a family you are not allowed to be a part of. I agree couples therapy is very necessary but also some solid boundaries from OP. I honestly wish OP would stop disregarding his girlfriends feelings. He can definitely have a healthy coparent relationship while having healthy boundaries so that his partner doesn't feel like an outsider in her own family.
Does everyone actually assume or is it just your grandmother?
Roger hopes, but will accept your decision. You could tell him and ask for help to make his mother keep her thoughts to herself.
This from a s/o who’s ten years older than you? Sounds like projection to me.
It doesn’t matter what ‘signs’ he’s showing you, you KNOW he has a girlfriend now, so you’d be a POS for flirting or pursuing anything romantic with him. Don’t be that person. He’s moved on, you should to.
Sorry honey but you're the side chick. Emotionally he's hers and she his and neither of them have any interest in changing that, regardless of how many other people they hurt. You should've walked at 1 month when he couldn't stay away from her. Find yourself someone who is emotionally available and invested in you, not someone else.
There is a difference between boundaries and rules. Boundaries apply ONLY to yourself and your actions. Rules dictate the actions of others. It is inappropriate for someone to dictate the particulars of any relationship of which they are not a direct participant. The relationship (friendship) between your bf and his friend is their business only. It is inappropriate for you to dictate what your partner may or may not do in a relationship you are not a part of. Rule: “You cannot be close/intimate friends with a woman you have had sex with in the past.” Boundary: “I will not be in a relationship with anyone who has a close/intimate friendship with a former lover. If you maintain a close/intimate relationship with your former lover, I will discontinue my romantic relationship with you.” The rule dictates who your partner may or may not be close friends with. The boundary informs your partner of your comfort level regarding friendships with former lovers and specifies your action should he maintain a relationship that violates your stated boundary. It leaves the choice up to him without compromising his personal autonomy.
Ahh so in short your insecurities along with your own past unfaithfulness have you believing certain events in which your wife was in.
Welp imo I suggest therapy and MC. There's no need to go nuclear and blow things up without any proof. Her actions seem questionable but your past and I assume other issues may have caused things to roll like this.
I'm saying it's an option. She can decide for herself.