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Dump her ass once a cheater always a cheater if she didn’t respect you enough to not fuck someone else when you were dating guaranteed it won’t stop her when y’all are married. If you knowingly marry a cheater and the. It happens again it’s no one’s fault but your own, she clearly doesn’t love you bro.
Call her a lint-licker, tell her to leave your man alone, and block her. She's no friend to you or your marriage.
i’m not trying to be controlling at all which is why i came on here before i even say anything to him . i’m honestly laughing about it now ?? he’s snoring and everything
i’m not trying to be controlling at all which is why i came on here before i even say anything to him . i’m honestly laughing about it now ?? he’s snoring and everything
I don’t normally give insight to things, but if it’s hidden then it’s cheating or borderline cheating.
I think a more important issue is to question and think on your views on sexuality. Sounds like you're just following your religion's guidance on sex before marriage being “bad,” and porn being bad. However, you have normal human urges and therefore went against your teachings. Think about how you view sexuality. Is it really immoral to watch porn? Is is really immoral to have sex before marriage? How do you want to raise your kids if you choose to have any, and how you will frame the topic of sexuality.
For most people, there is nothing wrong with watching porn. But you've said for your fiancee' it's a problem. So you have to choose whether or not to online by that boundary or not, but either way, you shouldn't lie to her about it.
My girlfriend ex-girlfriend deleted all of our pictures from her instagram and removed me from her story highlights
There i fixed the title for you
My advice would be to not avoid difficult conversations like you appear to be doing. Sure they’re uncomfortable but neither of you appear to have the same expectations of one another or the relationship.
Otherwise you end up in the situation you’re in where you both resent one other because the other person should “just know”.
I’m not suggesting you stay together but with the information on display it appears like a petty money argument that’s been allowed to fester beneath the surface and subsequently become blown way out of proportion.
Your feeling are valid. Take him up on his offer of never mentioning it again. You don’t want to do it, and that’s enough.
“I’m scared to commit because divorce is scary but breaking up is easy. I love her, but not enough to promise not to leave”
Ignore his reactions and ignore him. It sounds like you are married to a controlling, abusive jerk.
You think they're dangerous???
yeah i’ve come to that conclusion which is why it bothered me more
If you can say that to me why cant you say it to your partner?
It is really hot to do basic things like cook a full meal or shower when you are trapped in that feeding/pumping schedule. Babies that young ear every 3 hours sometimes more frequent. Are the grandmas actually doing anything or are they just present? If she has to ask them for help she may feel like she shouldn’t. Mom guilt is a really thing where we new moms feel like failures for needing help. They need to help you help her, schedule times of the day where they feed and hold the babies, they need to tell her they are taking over so she can shower or eat or whatever.
Also, I’d caution you on not listening to old ladies regarding what’s a normal amount of work for a new mom. Men didn’t do shit back then and new moms struggled and suffered. As a generation they’re not very receptive to husbands helping because they would have to acknowledge they should have had help.
Now I understand your job hours are insane and hopefully Not permanent, so I understand you not pitching in – there are other to do that. So just keep in mind it’s almost impossible to not resent your husband at that stage, even if it’s irrational.
Hey guy. You just said it yourself, she has PPD and has been a couple of months. Is she seeing anybody about this? If you expected her to sing your praises this soon, you are barking up the wrong tree.
If it's too much, and you are without hope at this point, you can start separating and see how you feel with a month or two away from them.
If you find your life to be better without them, get the divorce. Imo, they allowed you to cut off all their gaming before. If you're truly at the point where you are done trying, I'd communicate that and boil it down to an ultimatum: games (including the videos etc) or me.
If it's too much, and you are without hope at this point, you can start separating and see how you feel with a month or two away from them.
If you find your life to be better without them, get the divorce. Imo, they allowed you to cut off all their gaming before. If you're truly at the point where you are done trying, I'd communicate that and boil it down to an ultimatum: games (including the videos etc) or me.
Something to the effect of “I've really enjoyed our time together but I've decided I need to end this between us. At the end of the day, you want a family and marriage, and I cannot give that to you. I wish you the absolute best of luck and thank you for everything.” You've gotta rip the bandaid off. He's gonna be hurt regardless because he has clearly clung to the hope you'd change your mind and be with him, so the longer you wait the more hurt he'll be.
Something to the effect of “I've really enjoyed our time together but I've decided I need to end this between us. At the end of the day, you want a family and marriage, and I cannot give that to you. I wish you the absolute best of luck and thank you for everything.” You've gotta rip the bandaid off. He's gonna be hurt regardless because he has clearly clung to the hope you'd change your mind and be with him, so the longer you wait the more hurt he'll be.
I think you need to take off the rose colored glasses and you’ll have more confidence. If I had a guy this arrogant as a partner he would be ripped into daily. Men like this love a confident and independent person. They also like a more power struggle dynamic or unconsciously fighting over who is in charge/dominate. Right now you are giving away your power in a weird father/daughter vibes dynamic. You just need to drop the list on paper and be confident in your skin.
Source: I am literally not anywhere near perfect and I do the above naturally as arrogance is my kryptonite.
Lord above that's the same standard. You shouldn't tell a woman to not cut her hair if she wants to, and you shouldn't tell a man to shave if he doesn't want to. You can ignore their opinion you know, people arent always right or even nice. Have some confidence it's 2023.
You’re dragging it out. Y’all should leave each other now rather than later save yourself some time it won’t get any better
Honestly? I’d be ready to rethink the custody agreement. He’s making the kids lie, while dating someone he effectively groomed from 14 years old. That’s looks gross on paper and in person. I don’t know the legalities of such things, but my deep disgust as a mother would make me question everything. Parents model behaviour – this kinda stuff naturalises fucked up relationship dynamics.
I’m sorry OP.
You are being gaslit to all hell. Stop defending the lies. I have allergies and asthma, and I have partied in the past prior to kids, and his excuses are BS. Just because all his homies are covering for him isn’t a reason to ignore the blatant cocaine symptoms. Especially the raging about the house after you spoke to him. Another commenter pointed out that if he truly had these issues, blowing his nose constantly shouldn’t be embarrassing or cause him to be antsy.
damn it only takes you 20 minutes??? He should be considering himself lucky it’s that fast
Sometimes they do, mine do. Like if I'm exposed to a particular pollen or other allergen.
I edited the post to include what I need advice on at the beginning
Yes, people's new kink is being just friends.
Have you ever sat down and thought about what you put him through on the daily?
This is a responsable, stable, financially sound 26 year old who has been through the roller coaster ride that is you. You are exhausting to read and probably a lot to online with. All I can see is how he has compromised to make you happy. He’s less messy (which is good for him), he’s taking dance classes so he can accommodate your need for him to cut a rug at a club, he’s the designated driver when you are drinking up a storm out and about, he follows your whims.
Now, you applied to a job in Italy without actually talking with him about uprooting his whole life to follow your dreams. How selfish can you be? He isn’t supportive because he doesn’t want to be the one who only does what you want and be unhappy. You don’t talk because he’s probably unhappy and unfulfilled.
Be single if you want to dream or find yourself someone who is like you to move around whenever you dare to find something crazy to do. Otherwise, try to figure out how you can still be fulfilled with life while not picking up shop every time you feel like it. Find activities that will make you happy that aren’t always a few countries over.
Honestly it doesnt matter if it is all in your head or not. This is NOT healthy. You need your own therapist not one you share as a couple.
He has lied to you multiple times, how many times is it going to take before you see who he really is?
You get to a point In life where you realise that closure needs to be given by a person that is on the way out of your life and never truely cared about you to begin with. Sometimes you just don’t get it and after awhile you realise you don’t even want it
Exactly. I'm ambitious and driven. My wife is relaxed and just enjoys life. She helps balance me out.
Now go get therapy because you need it.
It’s there to help you.
I hope you do.
Good luck
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years. Up until this past weekend we’ve had such a great relationship and so much love for each other.
On Saturday he went to a party with his friends and I found out that he drove home after drinking. And not just a drink or two, he was really drunk. I’m so upset that he would do something so selfish and disrespect his own life and others like that.
So I dumped him. I do not support drunk driving and I think you’re a shitty person if you do it. My friends all told me that was insane and he thinks I’m being irrational. He told me that if I loved him I would look past it. I just see it as such an irresponsible act that you are told a million times not to do because it’s dangerous and irresponsible. He keeps contacting me trying to get me to get back together with him, but I won’t. I don’t respect him and I don’t stand for that behavior. I still love him but I just can’t stand to be with someone who does that. I’m hurting so so bad. I don’t know what to do.
Edit: Wish I could respond to everyone’s positive comments! Thanks everyone!!! I am so sorry for everyone who has lost somebody to a selfish drunk driving incident. I am thinking of all of you
She doesn’t get to dismiss him and his feelings with what amounts to “suck it up, it was a joke.”
She needs to hear what he is saying. Acknowledge that her joke was tasteless and hurt the most important adult in her life, whom she presumably loves and wants to be happy. And come to boundary about jokes about the relationship.
Just give her a plus one. You don’t even have to interact with the guy. You’ll be busy.
This is true. She didn't try even a little to hide anything and came clean with every single detail. Also, I found out that she did try stopping multiple times when having sex with Amanda but Amanda talked her out of it and her being drunk didn't help either and clouded her judgement. She realises that Amanda preyed on her and tempted her. She's willing to do anything to save the marriage including cutting Amanda off so I think there's hope.
I'd say teenage crush, based on the fact I was able to get over it.
Do you share the details of your evening poop with your partner? You share everything right?
You need to just leave. You’ll never be able to trust this family or this man. If they do quickly exiled a child from the family for coming forward with abuse, how will they treat future children in the family who may come forward with the same abuse allegations toward the same man? Leave and cut them all out of your life swiftly.
Let her go
Is that all? Don’t you think that the fact that you keep going back and forth shows that there’s an obvious lack of something
You’re not giving him a second chance, this is his third chance. And you’ll be giving a fourth, a fifth, and so on as long as you stay. This wasn’t just texting and sending pictures. He’s cheated with multiple men, probably more than he’s really letting on.
And all these boundaries you’re setting now, are unspoken boundaries all healthy relationships should have from the very beginning. He’s getting a thrill from fucking men, and it’s not going to stop because you caught him. If he was truly sorry, he would have been upfront with you and told you, not be sorry after he got caught.