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Properly would be to say you're sorry and mean it. These are best conveyed face to face, video chat or at the least voice chat. I wouldn't text it, texting leaves too much interpretations for the receiver. Hearing and seeing a genuinely felt apology does help the receiver believe you. If they don't wanna hear it, you'll know you tried and no regrets. Even if you're not forgiven by this person, do forgive yourself. Doing the right thing isn't easy, but it shows that with every wise word you've understood, every heartache you've endured, every blessing you've rejoiced in since just a year ago has made you a more enlightened person. To fuck up is to be human. It's whether the lesson is learned or not that shows character.
makes sense! i just wonder if there’s anything i’m missing/not seeing that i should think about/talk about with my partner before we move in together to make it as smooth and painless as possible
That's okay, just wanted to inform you because OP might miss reading your insight if it was directed to me it would go to my alerts rather than hers.
It doesn't really matter the specific reasons why; there's lots of possible reasons. Your mother's is a possible explanation, or it could be that Jessica gets off on indirect bullying/exerting control over her social circumstances which includes her partner, or maybe Zach said something to imply he was into you – who knows?
What you do know is that how Jessica and Zach are reacting to whatever internal pressures are present (internal, because as you say, you didn't DO anything except exist in their general shared space) in a way which isn't healthy and borders on the toxic. Think of that as a warning rattle.
Now that doesn't mean it's not going to continue to affect you – the fact that the receptionist clearly knows something is up means that your work environment is becoming polluted by whatever's going on. I would suggest posting on askamanager, NOT to find out 'why', but to ask 'how do I navigate this considering the professional ramifications?'.
Who gives a fuck? You broke up. Move on.
This is my oldest friend so I can’t help but make excuses for her. Like maybe this is something she does unconsciously, and if I point it out, she will try to work on it to stop it?
Now. Was this the right thing to do?
it was the immature thing to do. here is some advice for you: stop being so controlling and insecure. Go get some professional help before you really ruin any chance of a successful relationship. Lastly, stop getting in LDRs, the have way more problems and generally aren't worth the extra hassle.
Australia is a bit looser than America with how it feels about marriage, at least in my circles. I also have parents who are both twice divorced so marriage never looked that great to me. I am also aware of how this has coloured my view on relationships.
I mean this as kindly as possible: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! STAY OUT OF IT!
What your friend is doing is gauche but he clearly is not singling you and your wife out for disrespect.
What does your wife think? Does she even care?
At any rate, you know that she is not invited and you've already pushed back (which was rude) so don't do it again. Graciously accept the invitation if you're going. Graciously decline it, if you are not.