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Best of luck to you in finding a resolution! ??
you’ve been dating 5 months and you’re still really young- In the softest way possible- he doesn’t love you. I remember being 16-18 and every new relationship being very exciting and “can’t online without them”- however this is temporary.
I love him beyond words. That’s super sweet, but you’ve only been together five months. Most people don’t fully know a person well enough to truly love them that much in that short of a time.
Give it some time for yourself as well. Absolutely ask him to reach out when he’s ready but don’t spend your time waiting for him. Socialize with your friends, do things where you’re not constantly thinking about him. He’ll reach out when he’s ready and then you can go over the things you want to ask now. Write them down and revisit them later
It absolutely is not clear that OP is in an “extremely controlling and abusive relationship.” Without an actual example of one of the scenarios where he's hidden details from his wife and how she reacted, we have no idea whether a situation like him lying about playing video games is her trying to stop him from having hobbies, or her being upset because he claimed he was doing something important while she was taking care of their kids and in reality he was gaming.
There are too many possible ways for this scenario to shake out to throw out serious terms like abuse. It's also very common for cheaters to justify cheating by talking about how controlling and miserable their spouse is, when the reality is that they are “nagging” them to be a present partner. We just don't know until and unless he provides more info.
Y’all think you’re cleverly skirting the virginity issue by saying it’s about trust, but conveniently question literally nothing else except the condition of a woman’s vagina.
Incels can be smelled a mile away dude.
Any advice on how to get past this?
Why would you want to? The humiliation and grossness you feel should be telling you something, but apparently you're not paying attention. This isn't something that'll go away if you ignore it hard enough. It's a fatal flaw in your BF, and it'll come up again and again if you stay with him.
Generally people, men especially, don’t really want a woman coming in to “fix” them. Grow together sure, but you’re treating him like a project.