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It sucks tbh. It’s bs too. He started talking to his friend who is a year younger than him and he is in the military , in politics .. has a house.. and that’s when shit hit the fan. His friend suggested that he needs to be a man by himself because of his own journey.
No it’s his fault totally
Your husband should tell her to leave him alone and stop sending him nudes, not you.
The hotel is out of the way from where the club he was at. If he was inebriated it would have been easier, shorter distance to come home than go to the hotel
Ask him.
Literally, if you cannot communicate super basic things, this early on, your relationship is doomed. Reddit cannot answer this question, only he can.
My ex girlfriend said the same thing, asking if we can take a break cause she has the grass is greener on the other side feelings. I said that a break means breaking up, she declined and stayed with me.
But guess who decides to explore other options while still in a commitment relationship me? The ex. She was dating dudes on the side and trying to find a upgrade while keeping me on the hook.
My advice to OP, please don't cheat and end it if you value exploration over your current bf. End the relationship on a clean note
Does he know about your past and the sexual assaults? That is really a key point in his actions.
So they haven't found anything? No ovarian cysts, endometriosis, or anything?
Love this.
How can I make my partners wants less, or should I be uncomfortable for the rest of my life if I cave/it accidentally happens?
Did I read that right?
Thank you! No, I’m dumb, maybe it’s not totally about the dildo alone. This is just also the first time I saw him watch/save porn with only pure masturbation of some porn star. Since I get why we watch porn, we watch sex. But idk why he saved porn without the sex. Just a girl masturbating. Sorry if I’m kinda naked to understand rn
this is so disrecpectful of his part…
It doesn't sound like it didn't end well. You're just guilty over something that was consentual act
95% of your comment is irrelevant because by OPs admission he didn't know that it was triggering to her and when he found out he immediately turned it off
Yes!! You are already unhappy and divorce costs more than lost deposits!!
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I mean.. I am laughing at your question.. what would you like to do? Either use it or don’t. Next time your husband speaks out of turn you can tell him to plug it or else lol
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I'm a single man. There is this girl who's my age (late 20s) who's really good friends with me at the office.
We started getting really close to each other. I assume she was single because of the nature of our interactions. Others at the office sort of made a joke about us two.
However when I found her on social, it turns out she has a husband and status says married. I didn't know cause she wasn't wearing a ring.
Nature of our interactions. Lots of physical touching. Giggles and laughs. Eye gazing. Insists on helping me on projects. I'm on winter break from my college courses, and she wanted to know what days I had off. Go out for lunch together.
Just curious, what you would consider acceptable for someone in a married relationship to act. I am attracted to her and was going to ask her out, until I found out she was married.
Edit: Thanks guys. Now that I know she is married, I'm going to keep my distance, but I think we can still remain friends and keep it professional.
Just eat her out until she's clearly satisfied before you focus on yourself.
Your friends are right on this one.
Ask yourself this question: Why have feelings for someone who agreed to lunch, made up a dentist appointment and then fucked off and hung out with other people? Is that the kind of person worthy of your feelings? She messed you about, that's not a person worth pursuing.
EVEN if you give her all the benefits of the many doubts. Let's say she genuinely had a dentist appointment and had to cancel with you, then the dentist appointment gets cancelled so she hangs out with friends because she figured you wouldn't be around. She still went radio silent, ball was in her court and she went silent.
She's not worth your head space, go fishing elsewhere if you can.
But she doesn’t want this. A gift like this is supposed to be for the recipient. They should want it. She doesn’t, so you shouldn’t do this right now.
You realize I said “you have to be ready to compromise “
That's not be a slave… Of course he can not be in the mood. But if it's because he saves no energy for her then he's wrong.
“Nowhere close to that”
Compromise my man. Means both have to work towards a solution.
Oh, it’s zero percent deep. But if she’s always invited to these major family events, wanting her to not attend anymore is interfering with SIL’s friendship with her, and you and your husband don’t want to see her. Well, you need to get over yourselves. It’s not actually about either of you.
My husband said that it makes him feel awkward too
Too bad, so sad. He should have thought about that before he slept with his sister’s best friend.
I came here to say this.
He’s not blocked me, he’s made his accounts private when they were public. I’ve kinda freaked out whether this is due to me or the chances are he saw my Reddit Post or is that unlikely as I have a random username
Dumb hill to die on. Listen to your partner. It’s not him against you, it is the two of you against the world. If the cups are bothering him this much make an effort to stop.
Why do you want to hold hands with men other than your bf? It is what people romantically involved do.
If he added you would you find it creepy?
There is nothing wrong with chasing a conversation, it's not like he asked you to stop and you continued. It's kinda like “hey, you forgot to get my number” lol
I think if the condoms were the only weird thing you'd ever noticed in your whole relationship, it would be worth writing it off as a fluke, especially if it happened five years ago. But in context of all this other stuff. . .yeah, dude's a cheater.
This has red flags all over it.
He found you on the Internet?
He dropped out of college and moved out of state to live in a van near you?
He says he can afford to support you and children?
This man is love-bombing like crazy. Love-bombing is doing big acts or buying big presents to show affection superficially. This is done to make you associate the person doing it with grand romantic gestures and good feelings so that you’ll me more likely to do what they want and act in accordance to how they think you should act so that they can control you.
Not only that, but the idea of sneaking around your parents and that he’s encouraging you to run away with him; those are both isolating behaviors. They are intended to create physical and emotional distance between you and your family and friends who care about you who are trying to get you to see reason. This allows him to generate conflict between you and them and coupled with love-bombing, gives the impression that he’s the only one who understands and cares about you and your feelings.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I don’t doubt that this guy is attracted to you. But given your age gap and the dynamics you’ve expressed, this guy doesn’t care about you. He cares about having access to you and what he can get from you (sex, affection, children, etc.) without actually caring about you as your own person.
My advice, and I know this is going to sound harsh, is to leave this guy. There’s not a single thing good about him that you’ve given in this situation that would make him worth this.
Your boyfriend is for the streets
I’m sorry maybe I was not clear enough in my post. We spilt all bills last month. However This current month we are in, I paid full rent and I am asking him to pay our utility bills for it to be fair.
I understand what you’re saying and agree: If he paid all bills and rent last month, I would be expected to pay all bills and rent this month. However, that is not the case.
FYI nutritionist is not a regulated title in most jurisdictions and most of them have the equivalent of an live certificate in smoothie making yet call themselves “certified” (by whom??). Buyer beware.
Most PhD in nutrition are busy conducting research not seeing clients.
Registered dietitian nutritionists have a university degree and undergo an internship. Look for RD or RDN.
I'm over 30 and my BMI is 20…calm down
You’re not a narcissist now & you weren’t then. Your gf was bitter. The end.
Do you ever look around and think “I’ve gone from living in one patriarchal situation to another”?
If this is not a thought you’ve had before, then it might be time to wake up and smell the coffee.
Your life is yours, take control of your own destiny and sing it loud.
No need to be hostile. It was a legit question. I’m genuinely curious.
No definitive conclusion on how the relationship worked out. She married an asshole, apparently. Not all age gaps relationships are so tilted. This sounds more extreme
What relationship? It only still exixts in his inflated little ego. I hear that he goes around claiming that I'll be his wife forever because we were married “before god”. It's naked to lose the only person who was ever willing to play your subordinate, albeit not for long, and most certainly not for the whole of eternity, but I can see how he would find that ridiculous idea appealing.
Based on my experience, 30-yr olds are with teenagers because there's something not right with them.
There is something wrong with this woman to a troubling degree. But barring all of the signs of her being creepy and a bit frightening, it also sounds like she had a longterm plan of just eventually quitting everything and using you for your financial stability that comes with the military. That's something you hear about 19 year olds doing, not 30 year olds. And I've never met a 19 year old who says to just kill pets because they're mad. So in conclusion, if you are going to date a user, at least date one your own age who isn't as outwardly personality disordered.
P.S. – there is a reason she went for someone so much younger.
I agree with everything you said other than your first statement, which frankly sounds a a bit judgemental. Just because you relate to to people in your life a certain way, does not mean i do. I have 3/4 'best friends'. In addition there is a chance that 4 months ago i may have agreed with you. Until 4 months ago i have never met someone and immediate wondered where they were my entire life. In this regard, she feels the same way. I know that at least im not alone in that.
I assume you read the entire post… I plan on distancing myself either way. BUT, putting distance between the two of us without a conversation also feels wrong to me (im not sure which is worse hah). This person REALLY values and cares about me. If i pull away without explanation I feel like that would be very hurtful to her.
I also want to emphasize i did not choose to feel this way nor do I want to.
My opinion is probably clouded by my sister who is bipolar and frequently does shit like that when she's not actually taking the medication like she's supposed to. She always recruits a guy to “lean on” before ending it with the one she's with. Even if she's not doing anything of the sort, it's really disrespectful behavior she's displaying.
You gotta smell the buckshot when it’s fresh , bro is conflating nothing and is making sound like it’s yi ur fault. Do yourself a favor and don’t even look for an answer and move on , he probably wants to break up but is to P to do it
Why are you with someone so financially irresponsible? He has $20k in debt and collection agencies are after him. He will not qualify for a loan at all. He also doesn't have the income to qualify. It will have to go in your credit. Not only no, but fuck no. He's gonna drag you down with him and trash your credit in the process. This isn't someone you build a life with, let alone buy a car with. Dump him and find a man that isn't so irresponsible.
See a therapist, then. There is no simple “tip” that Redditors can give you for your insecurity.
Why did you even post looking for advice when you have repeatedly dismissed what people were saying? He may have accepted your boundary but that doesn’t mean he’s happy about it. You can say that it’s not controlling but it really is. I don’t understand how anyone can be threatened by an instagram feed. He’s only going along with it to keep the peace. Which will only last for so long before the resentment starts to come through. Eventually he’s going to get tired of having to control his behavior in order to keep the peace with you since you don’t want to deal with your insecurities on your own. Probably why you didn’t hear from him for an extended period of time today.
Your mother needs a lawyer. She needs to protect herself financially from your pedo rapist dad. He is using his marital status to protect himself from having your mom testify against him. Plus all funds and property can be seized from his drug and sex crimes. She needs her half secured.