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Do not allow him in your lives. It only takes minutes for a man like that to kill someone. Don’t let it be you or your wife.
This is why you're struggling to leave him. Because drifting away from all other friends for 2 years to the point you're now socially isolated and don't know how to rebuild, screams either co-dependence and your own issues, or his subtle manipulation in other ways. Did you drift away from friends in previous relationships? Why this one?
You are dating your stalker, who would have already raped you if he could've in the past. If this is even remotely real (which is pretty hot to believe), you need help. I get It's messed up learning this all now, after building a connection. But if he told you the last girl he stalked he did actually manage to rape, how would you react? Pardon him for being in a dark place at the time?
And after he had raped you… if you never carried pepper spray, was he going to let you have him sent to prison? Or was he going to kidnap you, keep you hostage or murder you to hide the evidence? What would he have done in the heat of the moment? What does someone stalking and planning to rape you, have against doing even worse things?
The fact that he's even telling you this now, whilst saying it's in the past and to let it go, speaks insane volumes for how little he's understanding how completely abnormal, mental and terrifying that is. Even just to tell to you is all of those things.
It's equally terrifying your considering staying with him over something like having to spend time reconnecting with friends.
It’s not too late. You’ll find someone. My suggestion in the meantime- go to therapy. Not only will it help you work on yourself but it helps you be a great partner for your future forever person (if that’s what you want long term).