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Thanks.
Also, lie your damn ass off. Your job is to cover for her as best you can. Yes, it is likely most of her friends and even her work will eventually find out what happened. But that is up to her to reveal if and when she comes to terms with it or can not hide it anymore. You do NOT want to be blamed for everyone she knows finding out she is “crazy”. You said she works 8 hours a week I think, call her work and tell them she had a medical emergency. If they ask what the emergency is, just say its private. They will likely insist on a note. Go through the psychiatric facility and get a note from her doctor, but make damn sure its not on fucking stationary that says he is a psychiatrist or that its a psych ward.
Same for her friends, tell them she had a medical emergency, and that its private. If they insist on details, tell them that it is something your wife is self conscious about and she isn't ready to talk about it yet and you aren't going to betray her trust.
Somehow after 8 years and six different hospitalizations (one lasted as long as four months) %95 of the people at my work just believe I have chronic physical health problems. Only my boss and two other people that I trust know the truth about my psychiatric issues. If im having an episode, I play it off as weakness or dizziness and go “take a break” somewhere quiet. I work part time and the job is easy so its been manageable.
Then again, this all assumes that she hasn't already outed herself by her actions leading up to this. The most important one is her work. As long as you have a doctors note, and inform them of her medical emergency, they have no right to pry and make you tell them what it is.
OP We don’t hurt loved one. We cherish them We don’t break the trust of our friend and remain loyal to them. She is using you. Stop caring about what she wants and care about yourself . She has demonstrated that she has no respect for you. Why would you continue in this path. There is only pain there. Go to IC OP (therapy), there is no shame in it. It would also help you manage your boundaries in new relationships.
Did she go back to her place alone, and how did she get there if she was trashed? If she didn’t go home, where did she stay after the bar.
It’s early to call it a red flag in my opinion, but I definitely wouldn’t rule it out.
he drugged you for sure. Dude put something in your drink if youre used to having drinks and never having issues.
I plan on it I'm pretty done with her. But I'll never stop loving her
Take action or continue to be walked on…the choice is yours…
The only person that can develop a strong backbone is yourself.
You make a good point. I have proved that i’m gonna leave and he knows i will crawl back. I’m don’t want to leave forever i just want to prove that he can and will loose me but i feel that i can’t prove that to him with out completely leaving
I can’t even OP. Your husband is the biggest turd and you don’t seem to care at all. You must be really scared of being alone.
No problem, seller always wins on Ebay, if he says they can't be returned he is lying for some odd reason, possibly to test you with the sewing machine..?
Anyway I hope for the best :).
Source: eBay seller for the past 7 years.
Yeah I suppose it’s just sad that I might never have a relationship because of it
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Thanks so much for your response and advice I really appreciate it a bunch and it means a ton to me I’ll definitely figure this out because I just don’t want anyone harming my girlfriend
This man WILL leave you the second you receive any serious diagnosis.
He's using you as a fuck buddy, saying and doing what he needs to ensure he gets laid then being done with you until next time.
It's sis code (or whatever the female equivalent of “bro” is). If you bang a guy, and then suspect he is in a relationship and cheating, you leave something compromising behind where she can find it. ?♀️
Are you close with them though? Because their behavior is just so obviously racist.
It's not a cultural thing to say someone's name correctly (or as best you can, like actually making a sincere effort)! It's just the absolute bare minimum in a respectful conversation with like…any person? If I literally just met someone and read their name off something incorrectly, I'd try and correct myself.
And this is with you, who they supposedly like. I think you know they would be worse to your family and are also probably a LOT worse to POC that they aren't as close to.
Your boyfriend is spineless, so it's not just that his family is a problem. Yes, you can stand up to them, but you're not really solving the entire problem, even if that goes well. Ngl, I'm doubtful it will.
I'm not stereotyping bisexuals, I'm stereotyping young people, especially college students. She's 20 years old and just realizing a new facet of her sexuality. She's going to want to explore that, and isn't going to let some 19-month relationship keep her from doing so.
Honestly, I don't think the problem is the proposal,but that your partner really doesn't seem to know you.
Also,You mention you have autism and I'm concerned that your partner doesn't take it into consideration. Much like the comments on here, it seems like your partner doesn't get how autism works.
I wouldn't brush your feelings under the wrong. I would think about your relationship. Are there other signs that you two aren't compatible?
Pfft. I asked my husband if he was interested in getting married within a week of dating. If you know marriage is something that you want it’s fine to ask hypotheticals about it. I wasn’t asking that he commit to marry me, but just if he saw himself in that commitment.
Oh my GOD. I totally misread. I inverted their ages. Girl run!
You been together for 2 years and you want to propose at 5 years and get married at 8 to 10 years…your girlfriend will be middle age and too old for children…a little cautious eh?
Using her kid to get back to you.
Leaving an abusive man is the most dangerous time. You need to leave and you need to do it discreetly. He is escalating his violence towards you. It will not get better. Form a plan. Lean on anyone you can. Contact women's abuse shelters for resources and safe exit strategies. Do what you have to do to leave safely.
It's definitely not abnormal to still be hurt by something like this long-term. I've mentioned this millions of times in this sub, but being cheated on can traumatize people. She may have been traumatized by it, and she honestly might need to seek therapy to try to help her.
Neither of you are the problem here. You are two different people who feel two different kinds of ways. I wouldn't say it's a problem at all that she gets hurt when she remembers that she was cheated on. That doesn't mean she has feelings for her ex. That means that she was hurt by a betrayal that happened to her. I've been deeply hurt by others in the past, and while it doesn't cloud my daily thought, sometimes it'll pop up in my memory, and I will become sad about it again.
I know people who have been cheated on in past relationships but are now in loving relationships. Occasionally, they still remember the pain of being cheated on, and some are so paranoid about it happening again because it hurt them so badly. Painful things in the past commonly still hurt people in the future.
Now, again, if it's something that is overcoming her daily, then she likely needs to really seek therapy to help her cope with the trauma
The fact that you started this post the way you did tells me everything I need to know. You say you’ve had abusive relationships in the past, this is also abuse. The fact that you label yourself as stupid and insecure immediately for not wanting your husband to perve on other women shows that he often belittles your opinions and feelings and steam rolls you.
Yeah I guess I just don't want to let him go cause he does treat me really well and is very sweet. But I guess I just need to do more thinking on whether this could work for me.
Oh, that’s awesome! My bad, I apparently can’t read. It just clicked as to why you brought up the past.
Honestly, if you’re newly (months, but you know what I mean—that’s still probably really tough for you) sober, and this relationship is giving you this much grief, I would let it go, especially if she’s holding your alcoholism over your head.
What do your parents think? Have you told them?
What do your parents think? Have you told them?
What do your parents think? Have you told them?
The title got me red hard in terms of anger but then reading the post I’m all the way back on your side. That’s a fucking weird thing to do. He sounds like a weird dude.
Uh, don;t have another child with him full stop.
This guy is not ready for children.
“I pay rent monthly and also buy food for the household when needed. I also have bills e.g. phone bill/streaming services that I pay.” Per comment OP made just for more context of what she is paying for
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My girlfriend & I have been dating for the past 3 years. We are deeply in love and our relationship has been great thus far. I get along very well with her teenage kids as she had them very young. Today, she admitted to me that she no longer has the desire of having more kids. We’ve had this conversation multiple times before and she accepted of having another one and has been brought up quite often. She knows how important it is to me of having my own however, she’s had a change of heart these past few weeks. I have been wanting a child of my own for quite some time and would love to have one at this stage of life. My heart is crushed as we have a beautiful life together. Advice?
Your husband is treating you horribly.
You deserve love and kindness, not the abusive, passive-aggressive, swishy-washy, insecure BS.
Love yourself more. File for divorce. Serve him the papers as dessert the next time he comes over.
I’m sending huge, huge hugs.
Seems like a leap. She’s trying to get healthier by cutting out alcohol and smoking. She’s on a diet. Changing your diet can cause constipation.
Girl wake up you can't be this naive you know he's not fishing and there's a reason he was 33 dating you at 23 And it wasn't your maturity I'd wager he is getting with someone younger now that your getting older and he has gotten you so manipulated you can't even see what he has been doing. Also there are no consequences to his actions so why would he stop its obvious you won't do anything about it
What’s up with all the posts on Reddit these past few days of men wanting to sleep with their wives best friend? Seems like trolling.
Well well how the turntables have….
He’s a dick for giving you an ultimatum of divorce or “let me F your best friend” He’s a dick for coercing you into a open relationship when you didn’t want one.
You’re getting double the action while he sits there moping around.
Divorce!
and she was remarkably successful, clearly. i will definitely be doubling back to my therapist because i just can’t make sense of any of these feelings i’m having. i really consider myself a very emotionally resilient and strong person who knows my worth and i can’t fathom why: a. i tolerated any of this in the first place and, b. why i continue to actually care about how she perceives me.
i’ve been trying to make sense of how somebody can treat somebody so terribly and still feel like they are the one in the right and im the enemy but i think i’ll just go crazy trying.
I’m not sure what you’re exactly asking here, but I think curries ties is your best bet. She is acting toxically in her romantic relationship, so there’s really no good that can come out of this for you.
She WOULD be enough.. If she’d sexually satisfied him instead of leaving him with blue balls and in need of masterbation ?
He seems only to care about getting his claustrophobic bf to fly somewhere, anywhere, as long as they get there by plane.
It just felt really fast, but honestly I’m also scared to be vulnerable with anyone again.
I know right? I felt so sick