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Don’t dump all of it though. Save some to test. And press charges.
Those aren’t shortcomings. Those are some scary ass things he did.
You’re his mommy. Been there done that (still am, sadly) . I’m sorry to tell you this but the solution is an ultimatum and frankly I doubt he will follow through on a promise to change and you’ll have to face reality and move on. You will spend the rest of your life picking up after him, doing his laundry, begging him to brush his teeth. Either he is extremely lazy, like beyond lazy, or he has severe depression but isn’t emotionally astute enough to know that’s what’s happening or possibly has a toxic mindset about mental health. Either way you cannot fix that, that is all him. Your love and dedication will not make him less unhealthy, less unkempt.
Whatever you do, don’t move in with him. Every day when I get home from work I have to pick up all the (wrapped up and sealed) diapers my SO takes off our child and just leaves wherever he changed it for me to throw out. All of his redbull cans, socks, empty take out. He leaves candy out and open and when my toddler finds it she of course gets in it and I have to take it and then it’s a whole fit. Clothes on the floor, dishes and laundry somehow always fall on me or don’t get done for literally two months. I tried dropping the rope and our apartment was disgusting as a result. His one nonnegotiable job is taking out the trash. I beg him and remind him the night before and he literally will miss trash day twice a week for two weeks even though he stays up til 4am playing games the night before they come. There are NINE trash bags (THAT I TOOK OUT OF THE CAN AND TIED) waiting to go down on my staircase right now, it’s foul. That is your future, even if he maintains his space now, when he has his “mom” around to do it for him, he will stop. Maybe I’m projecting but this sounds really familiar.
I’ve had plenty of platonic friendships with women. Men who say platonic friendships can’t exist are men you never want to be alone with.