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Well given his imo extreme need for privacy, I doubt he'd like that. Like I said, he quite clearly expressed that he needed that room so that he can feel alone and so that he can do his own thing. He really seems to want that one room that is really only his and that I don't enter and where he can keep the door closed and do his own thing. He said I invade his privacy by entering that room, even though I always knock. Says I “act like the privacy invading mum he never had”.
At least he's been honest and upfront with you. Pretending otherwise would be a lot worse.
A piece of shit?
The right man would support your dreams. Full stop.
He would be Bisexual if he is flirting like that.. not gay.
OK so like let me restructure the situation. What if he just went to donate sperm like at a bank you know just to do it and then by happenstance the stepmother happened to pick and receive his. Does the lack of knowledge of it make it better?
on one hand I can sort of see the logic because sperm donation is risky if you don't know the medical history of the donors family but with a direct relative to her husband all the medical history is already right there. Plus they aren't even really related because that's just his step parent. I feel like there is a mature and sensible way that this could be done, and I still think it's fucking weird and they probably should have gone a different route, but ultimately it doesn't seem like anything too terrible happened here. At least nothing more terrible than if he were to donate sperm for anybody else. It isn't like he fucked her himself.
you are right to be upset, cuz even if it was a donation to someone else you should still be informed about it. there's a lot of cases of sperm donors getting in trouble with the recipients, so he shouldve at least brought it up to you
Ummm so you’re just fine with your wife taking your daughter to live! with some random guy???
And try talking about it when you’re not in the moment.
Clearly you don't frequent everythingawful or motherinlawsfromhell
Have her learn the toy on her own first. It takes some of the stress away from not knowing your preferences while someone is there expecting a reaction.Then she can tell you what settings she would like and you can give that to her.
Just so you know, I didn’t cum with my husband for YEARS. Hopefully that won’t be the case for her, but it isn’t that unusual. In my case, I had some Sexual trauma in my past and I just needed that much time to feel super safe and comfortable.
But also important to know is that during those years that I didn’t cum, I still very much enjoyed sex with him and felt lots of physical pleasure. Sex Can feel great even if you don’t cum. Tell her to relax about it, that it doesn’t worry you, it will happen when it happens, and just enjoy exploring and playing with each other.
To be blunt: grow up
To be more compassionate… Yeah, it may hurt a bit. But you don't own those people. They have feelings and they have desires. And just because it didn't work out with the two of you at 17 years old doesn't mean they can't find happiness together.
Your feelings are valid, but how you process and react to those feelings can be good or bad. Ask yourself if your friendship with your buddy is worth the pain of seeing them together. If you can't handle it, you lose the friend. But man, that's on you. It's not his fault for being attracted to her. Accept your limitations and faults, do what you need to be happy, but don't pretend this is on them.
If you wanna save that relationship you need to open up about your regrets and ask her to let you woo her again.
Oh girl. I know what it’s like to not want to hurt someone so you just say yes. Do NOT do it. Even if he is nice. Even if he is a good person, in the end, you will be unhappy because you said it yourself, you don’t want to marry him. Call him. Tell him that you’re sorry but you can’t marry him and you don’t have feelings for him that way. Be clear. Then go no contact. Block him and don’t speak with him. If he knows where you live!, get extra locks and think about installing a ring door camera to keep yourself safe.
Raccoons trying to eat cotton candy.
He just had a lot of vile internet usage and had a couple of relationships before me that didn’t last long at all.
Break up you are being played! I would be gone before he got back. He purposely humiliated you
Ok. Reevaluation of a relationship is healthy. Checking in with your partner is great. My gf and I do it regularly and this way we can catch stuff before it becomes a problem. When was the last time you two had a good solid talk about your relationship?
Eh, it’s not necessarily dishonesty. It’s really tough to figure out that you’re asexual if you have romantic feelings toward someone. Took me well into my twenties to realize that I was out of step with how other people felt about sex. Plus women get a lot of messages about how sex isn’t that great, or it’s something you endure. There’s a lot of societal bullshit to wade through in addition to trying to figure out that you lack something everyone else has.
Eh, it’s not necessarily dishonesty. It’s really tough to figure out that you’re asexual if you have romantic feelings toward someone. Took me well into my twenties to realize that I was out of step with how other people felt about sex. Plus women get a lot of messages about how sex isn’t that great, or it’s something you endure. There’s a lot of societal bullshit to wade through in addition to trying to figure out that you lack something everyone else has.
Honestly, I don't see him forgiving you for this massive breach of trust, which is justifiable on his part. Anything you do or say from now on he will not be able to trust. You have shown that you are unable to keep something secret that had great potential to cause him embarrassment. Just provide quiet support for now, show him that you are sorry, and hope for the best. If he does forgive your lapse then you will have to ensure it never happens again.
I'm glad you have a safe space to return to. Ignore what the larger community will say and especially the lies his mother will tell. The most important thing is your safety, that man will hurt you again and his mother will encourage him. Those creepy mother/son relationships are whole lot of crazy to try to unpack.
Print out screenshots and whatever else you can to prove she's trying to contact you. Get the order dismissed. Never, ever contact this woman again. Why are you even calling her your girlfriend?
don’t tell her just delete them.
Do you also have her messages to your husband. That could also be useful. If your husband deleted everything, have him unblock her and get a confession of her threats/ blackmail
It's naked to say. He could've just been really honest bc, for example, he had a jealous ex.
Or, more likely IMO, he wants to manipulate you. He established that he had/has options. So watch your behavior bc he doesn't “need you.”
You know him better than us. You'll get to know him even more. I wouldn't dwell over it. But keep an eye on other behaviors. I think eventually you'll know.
A restraining order isn't something that's just out there in the ethos floating around in a cloud. It's a court order, a document, on paper. Either she has one or she doesn't.
Her accusations or “just asking questions” stressed me out
Oh my god did you marry Tucker Carlson?
In all seriousness, I have been there and my condolences.
You distanced yourself because they were doing some shitty behaviors that were going to lead to worse.
You've done nothing wrong.
Keep avoiding.
“So, I guess your self-respect is less than your need to get fucked by a young cute guy who is already dating someone else. He cheated on his girlfriend…
So if he ever breaks up with her to date you, you will already know that you're dating someone who cheats on their longterm partners. Aren't you lucky to go into a relationship already knowing that your new boyfriend has a history of cheating?”
Argument?
“Think about how easy it would have been for him to just break up with her first. But he didn't. Tells us all we need to know about him.”
She shows up and mentions him: “Ryan, the guy in theblong distance relationship, Ryan?”
No point in letting her off the hook. It's not like you ever want to hang out with her again.
Unlike you, all the pussies in my life are satisfied
The wit/savagery of Reddit comment comebacks never ceases to amaze me.
I hope both sides of you pillow are cool, and your coffee is always made exactly to your liking ?
Pregnancy is counted from 2 weeks before you get pregnant usually. So if she is 3 weeks then she got pregnant a week ago on average. Pregnancy is dated to the first day of your last period, even though you will usually get pregnant 2 weeks later.
I swear it takes like 2 seconds to google this shit but is the source of many many Maury episodes lol.
He gets head before sex. That's a win right there. Probably just unrealistic expectations of sex cause of porn, and thinks all of that is real.
I also don’t want to give her an ultimatum. I don’t want to be forced into having kids but if that’s her final answer then I’ll have to say I walk which I feel is unfair,no?
What did you actually ask him? There’s a huge difference between:
Are any of my friends hotter than me?
Are you attracted to any of my friends?
Of these women, who’s the prettiest?
1&2 would be messed up, but I could see someone innocently answering #3 I guess
Your expecting this to stay secret. What happens when the friend tells a gf who in turn breaks up then notifies your husband as revenge? You can’t keep this secret. The longer you keep the more it will poison whatever relationship you end up with your fiance
Should I just explain what happened the other night.
Convenience is a powerful thing
Speak calmly and no blaming.
State that you him to be happy too, but you are not changing a fundamental part of you (being handy) and that is something you actually like about yourself. Can he be at peace with that? Again no blaming or accusing here even if he is being an AH! If can’t then say you two aren’t compatible and no one is to blame. You both want different things and it not fair for either of you to pressure the other.
Mrs right is always better than Miss right if you plan to stay together. I would be suspicious of the motives of someone you have been with for years who didn't want to get married.
I think none of the people downvoting me are Iranian or have been to the country. The problem isn’t the country or the people… its the government. Ffs
this is a very common trope that you'll find in age gap relationships where the women is obscenely young. They always make you think you're making the first move. They make it seem like they're so hesitant. But it's all manipulation. They lure you in, then push you away because it's so wrong, you're too young for them. They dangle a relationship in front of you, if only you weren't so young, even though you're so mature for your age… Then you prove your maturity! You ask them out, you pursue the relationship, because you're so mature!
They know people will question the relationship, so they convince you that you did it.
update: i talked with my boyfriend about this again and shared everyone’s responses and he made me feel really safe and secure. he validated my feelings and understands why it’s naked for me and told me he’s happy to give me reassurance whenever i need it especially when it comes to times they will hang out. i know it will still be nude for me to sit with the icky feelings that may come up when they want to hang out bc that’s the nature of my insecurity and also ocd tendencies, but im not going to let it control my behavior or control my sweet and loving boyfriend. thank you all (:
Did you have friends before your boyfriend?
I think the most likely outcome here is you get a new babysitter, the kids see why you weren’t a big fan of him, and occasionally they get more gifts on their birthdays.
They live! far away so no babysitting, this might cause more problems
*Is my mom being manipulative*
Yes. Yes, she is being manipulative.
*How can I respectfully shut her down when she starts trying to guilt trip me*
I would be upfront with her, Op.
“I do not have a good relationship with dad or brother and I do not want to see them. Do not ask me to go to family get togethers. I will not go. Understand that, mom. I will not go to family gatherings.”
Do not get into the you “do it for your mama” or the “I don't get to go out to dinners like you do with your boyfriend” crap. THESE are things she says to guilt and manipulate you, Op. These are things/tools she has figured out to use to get her way.
YOU give these statements power. The words she uses are manipulation power play tools. YOU are giving her words power over you. Stop giving her words power over you.
It's not going to be easy, Op. This has been going on for so long it will be difficult to get her to stop.
You must be consistent with refusing her. YOU MUST BE CONSISTENT WITH REFUSING.
Imagine a willful child, Op.
Mom, I want another new toy.
No. No new toys.
But mom~~~ I really want a new toy.
You have a lot of toys already.
But they are not new!
No new toys.
A GOOD mother would get me a new toy!
This is where you have to be consistent. If you give in because you want to be a GOOD mother
Oh~~~okay. I'll get you a new toy.
You have taught the child to be persistent and manipulative.
IF you are consistent saying no and walking away. EACH and EVERY TIME, they will soon tire.
Good luck, Op.
(Psst? YOU are giving her words power. Stop.)
I don’t think it’s controlling to have a conversation with her and let her know that it makes you a bit uncomfortable. Maybe just talk to her about it by letting her know you trust her and it’s nothing like that, but it makes you feel weird still. And see what she says to that then go from there.
It sounds like you know you can trust her and you don’t want to tell her not to do the class. So maybe talking to her about the situation, your feelings, and her feelings can help the two of you get on the same page. Maybe she’ll decide not to do it, maybe you’ll get more comfortable with it, maybe there’ll be a compromise somehow.
But all in all, it’s not controlling to express your feelings in the way you’re considering. You’re absolutely allowed to have your feelings and communicate them. Just have a conversation, based on how you presented this post I trust you’ll be able to communicate clearly and respectfully to your partner that this is not even remotely about not trusting her, which will make this a productive conversation!
He’s been working on things he was insecure about. Ex: He was insecure because he was struggling a lot financially, so found a better job and started working more hours. Insecure because he gained a little weight, started eating healthier. Got involved with some hobbies again, started hanging out with friends more often, etc. So he’s definitely taking steps… it’s just been several months and doesn’t seem to be helping as much as I had hoped. He doesn’t seem to be as depressed anymore, but definitely still a lot of negative self talk and lack of confidence.
It's important to have your own hobbies, your own time, and your own friends. You are not being rude for not inviting him..it's only one weekend.
So I would never say a woman not wanting to use hormonal birth control is an issue, it can be shit to the body. If she’s also against condoms, that’s your red flag to run. The pullout method is not effective, as evidenced by the existence of my siblings and me. ? if you don’t want an accidental kid then STDs & a condoned are absolutely necessary.