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I really recommend you head over to r/loveafterporn. I think there's tons of support and resources for you and potentially your partner as well.
Nope. Not your problem. Nobody asked you if this plan worked for you, so now it’s not your plan to execute.
It’s time to grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Tell your husband he needs to figure out who’s going to do all this work, because it isn’t you.
Well, you certainly have some choices to figure out.
You could move out, spend time back with your ex and minimize your contact with your family.
Or, you can learn from this and move on. If you choose this approach; you’ll have to understand that it’s over. I would recommend not telling her about your family’s comments. It will only hurt her. You also indicated that the two of you broke up bc you were at a standstill and unhappy. Along with the concern from her that your family didn’t like her. So, nothing good can come from telling her.
If you want her back, contact her and talk with her. Do not discuss your family’s comments.
Make a signal (perhaps with her help) to convey that you are feeling overwhelmed. Go over it a couple times. This way, if you are out with her in a group she can cover for you. Even alone, give her the signal and say, “I need some quite time. I'll be back as soon as I can.” If she can't support you in this, then it's not going to work. If she can, your relationship may grow stronger. Be sure to thank her every time you return to her after a break.
Great nick aswell