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I can’t do that cool text quote thing but the sentence
“I was feeling really secure in my looks when we started dating, but this has taken a hit on my confidence.”
That’s really all you need to know man. He is not building you up and it’s been 3 months of exclusivity. If you desire confidence and security in your life then he is not providing your desired feelings at a time when the relationship should be easiest.
You can’t change his perspective and no group is a monolith. Find one with the same perspective as you.
She wouldn’t have told you if the guy she slept with didn’t make her!
Well, some guys really love those crazy women, I guess.
I guess I’m thinking that if my friend knows about the recoding device, she’ll be less likely to want to work towards healing the marriage.
You are both so young and Im not saying the love you have for him isn’t strong, but honestly most people do not stay with the person they dared when they were 20. Not saying it won’t happen, but if he has an issue with your schedule now it won’t get better once you get into Med School. Med school is time consuming. Then there is interning and residency. Residents can work anywhere from 40-80hrs a week, depending on their situation. I say this because if he can’t support you through just getting it to school, the likelihood he will as you go forward in your education and training isn’t great. I understand it is a difficult decision, but what if you don’t stay on track and do this trip and later you break up when it gets more difficult what then? I think you need to have a serious conversation about what each of you want and expect out of the relationship.
I’d stay on track.
You’re dating a little boy. Try a grown man next time.
I couldn’t actually agree with you more!!!
Just remember that we are all human and to listen and communicate
Claiming jail time for a comment about being so into you they'd like to fuck all day, is rather a big exaggeration. Even a random stranger shouting that to a woman passing by is unlikely to be grabbed and thrown in jail.
He just keeps saying he was stupid and not thinking. He was also very intoxicated.
I just said, how about I go out and get drunk and switch my brain off and see where I end up….. eff a guy or two and then come crawling back saying “sorry I wasn’t thinking” and we’re even. Obviously this is a very toxic place we are in right now. I just wouldn’t get so drunk that I’d ever end up in this kind of situation.
What app did you download that let you see if he was on other dating apps?
Just say you had your chance ive moved on, please be mature about this then block her.
On an advice sub? Why do you think that’s appropriate?
She told you she doesn’t want exclusivity, is about to go on a trip for an extended period of time , is possibly sleeping with other men and just got out of an abusive relationship. Look at the facts my man. She is someone who isn’t ready to commit.
She told you what she wants, where she’s at, but have you told her what you want? Or what you’re feeling? Does she even care or is she just surveying the field for guys (probably what she’s doing).
Brother you seem like a great guy just don’t put all your eggs in one basket. If you want to let her know your emotions and concerns have a grown discussion about things right now but understand that she’s leaving for two months and going through a lot. I wish you well on your journey.
Did you tell her exactly that? That you would be there for her if it's your child? Because then you are being upfront about your feelings that she cheated and the two of you are dealing with this trust issue?
It's really naked to understand what is going on because your original post reads like you think that she cheated but you are keeping it to yourself.
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You need to grow a backbone. It's not mean or vindictive to set a boundary.
So she got with you at 20, and has spent her twenties being married and raising kids. She’s realized she missed out on the fun, unattached time a lot of people get in their twenties. But of course doesn’t want to fully separate or anything so she proposes polyamory.
In six months we’ll see an update about how she’s fallen for someone else and wants a divorce.
Take as old as time. Or Reddit.
He apologized to make himself feel better because he’s a bad person with a guilty conscience. OP being that upset about his confession makes him realize what he did REALLY was that bad and he doesn’t want to admit he’s a bad guy. I’d cut all relationship completely and only speak if it’s regard to the child. He sounds like a terrible human being and he gaslit OP for >1 year before dumping her for a younger woman.
If you like him why not ask him out?
Your bf sounds like an ass. I would not want to stay with someone who treated me like that.
If he's demanding that favor, sure. If he'd be fine without blowjobs then it's not a double standard.
I'd be wanting some space as well to process what's going on. After meeting him I'm guessing his alarm bells (red flag) were going off even more than they were when you mentioned him in the first place. He got a bad vibe from him, you or the situation in general. Give him time to think about it and then have a conversation on what he's feeling and what you can do together to resolve the problem.
Well next issue we have I’ll go back to communicating but it’s just exhausting like even after I explained the mirena thing and he’s a dr, it’s like he didn’t know how to deal with it or me , all I would need is hugs and saying he will be there but i don’t know why that’s naturally a naked thing for him to do
What the fuck is this? Is this for real? Your fiancé is supportive? You aren’t absolutely freaked out? I have a daughter of my own, I missed 7 years of her life. She is a little baby to me. I am upset I missed her early life.
Your dad needs some serious mental health evaluation done immediately. What kind of guy has a wet dream about his child?
I am questioning whether this post is real or just made up to get engagement.
OP, me and my husband are not too far off this atm. We have a 10 month old, and have had a lot of life up and downs unrelated to our baby happen.
I’ve lost most of the weight, but the way I see my boobs is totally different and now negative. Before, they were for feeding. So I didn’t want him pawing at them because they hurt and they weren’t for him. Then I stopped breast feeding and I hated how they looked. Having someone touch them only reminded me of a huge insecurity!
My sex drive is in the toilet, and while we have sex maybe 3 times a week, we are only having that sex because I am making myself do it. Not because I want it. Please take a second to think about how it feels to know you’re wanted for something that you really fucking don’t want.
I sympathise that you feel like you’ve been made out to be a predator, that’s not cool. And I understand that you can’t necessarily control your sex drive. But also please make sure that you aren’t talking about sex all the time, because that just feels dehumanising.
I would strongly suggest gently talking to your wife about a trip to the doctor to talk about possible PPD. I have an appointment in 3 weeks and I can’t wait, because it’s taken me this long to realise that something isn’t right
Its his biggest fear but still not enough to remain faithful.
If you want to change for yourself, then change. If men have made you insecure about it, work on your insecurity. It's not worth mutilating your body for men who don't appreciate you.
I garantuee you, your body is normal. Vagina's are never someone's prettiest feature, but they are what they are. No one (outside of porn which is fake) has a designer vagina.
There's a reason people don't like sharing, even condiments. You're right to express your not wanting to be talked to the way he did.
On the other hand, move on. Don't share plates or condiments.
If he still can't let go of this, there might be a hidden reason for his reaction. That's something to thing long and naked about.
You need to just leave him. He can't pull you back in if you don't let him. His comment about not wanting another man to have you is concerning. That sounds possessive.
Remember that having this baby means you're tied to him forever. He will always be your child's Father. Hopefully you can co-parent well together. Make sure everything is done through the courts and only use a court approved parenting app. All texts are about your child only.
Also be prepared that he could walk away and you're raising your child alone. If you don't like either of these options, then you can terminate your pregnancy or look into adoption. He has rights and can say no to adoption though.
It seems like both of you are a little immature in your career direction and financial planning. Not a condemnation of your personality, but both of you have taken a turn being unemployed and leaning on the other partner. Mature people don't “quit” a job without having another one lined up.
Maybe you both need to talk things over more carefully about (a) smart career moves, and (b) having a “rainy day fund” to pay expenses if you do find yourself unemployed for a period. I'm not saying just you or just her. You both need to participate.
End it. He has no morals.
End it. He has nor morals.
I want to just give you a bit of warning. Embrace the feelings and dive into this with your whole heart, but be prepared that it might not be reciprocated. The best advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was “don’t hide your love and don’t expect it either” I met my boyfriend and first date was kinda awkward but second date I immediately looked at him and said this goofball is the guy I want to be with forever. And I acted on it. Early on we had serious talks to make sure we were mostly aligned on wants and goals. And I was completely transparent that I have mental health problems so he can be prepared for my struggles. During fights, before things get too bad, just say to him “this means enough to me that I want to work it out.” And then do so. Love isn’t always easy. It’s actually a lot of naked work but if you’re sure about him, put in the effort to make it work
I want to just give you a bit of warning. Embrace the feelings and dive into this with your whole heart, but be prepared that it might not be reciprocated. The best advice I’ve ever gotten in my life was “don’t hide your love and don’t expect it either” I met my boyfriend and first date was kinda awkward but second date I immediately looked at him and said this goofball is the guy I want to be with forever. And I acted on it. Early on we had serious talks to make sure we were mostly aligned on wants and goals. And I was completely transparent that I have mental health problems so he can be prepared for my struggles. During fights, before things get too bad, just say to him “this means enough to me that I want to work it out.” And then do so. Love isn’t always easy. It’s actually a lot of naked work but if you’re sure about him, put in the effort to make it work
yeah as of now i’m fine and she’s showing progress, but the issue is she’s constantly depressed about this i just don’t know what to do for her to see that i’m okay and for her to not hate herself so much over this issue. I told her about setting boundaries and me being able to help with that and help her keep platonic relationships, but she’s still so worried about this, i think time just needs to pass and she just needs to experience it and see things are fine
Thank you I will.
Is there no way to salvage this? I'm scared that blocking her would just send her over the edge since she's really fragile rn. Its what all of her other friends have done.
Be glad he’s showing these red flags now. If his plan wasn’t to control you through money, he would have no problem with you having your own funds.
??????