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Anytime a person drinks and doesn't know their limit, it's a problem. If a person drinks until they have blackouts, can't form a sentence is incoherent then they need A.A. immediately.
I think people fail to get the part where you only brought it up because they were telling you off… seems to me as if you used it as like a oh I know this since you want to give me shit. Not saying it’s your fault for doing it that way but I think if you genuinely wanted to do it the right way you could come to your mom/dad and talk to them. Now that would be the ideal dream situation. But knowing how family’s are nowadays you can’t just talk to your parents about that kind of stuff. It’s difficult butting in with your parents problems depending on how your communication/relationship is with them. I wish you the best of luck though.
… And if you have to scream it ?
Can you help me about it in dms
Multiple affairs… multiple… why would you go back to that? Girl, move forward with the divorce, and move on. Start dating. Why you agreeing not to????
Tell him he's acting like a little boy, because if it was just an animal he wouldn't need to get his own. If you're living together and actually set on a life together, the cats would be both of yours. He doesn't really sound like he's setting up for a permanent life together if he needs to remove one of your cats to get another he feels is his. Nor really was he when he was flirting with someone else the last time you moved in together.
You're not supposed to be just getting a new flat mate. Moving in together is supposed to be a commitment.
??♀️?
This happened with me and my so, she ended up ghosting him and he ended up with me. I beleive he still had intentions to keep seeing her but she ghosted him. I’ve talked to him about this so many times and he keeps telling me he didn’t settle and loves being with me And that I’m better etc but it’s very hot to believe it when she ghosts him and he’s left with me.
And this, folks, is why 39 year old males date 21 year olds.
No, he cheated on her, with you.
Your ex-wife absolutely gets a say in who her children spend time with. There's probably more to this story (there always is), and you have responsibilities. You are a dad first, not a boyfriend to a new woman first.
Lmao I feel like this has been the plot of a movie
You feel like you hurt somebody that you cared about, you've just made a huge life decision, and a relationship that was a massive part of your life has just ended. That's a lot to take in. It's perfectly natural to feel out of sorts in all sorts of ways. But please, give yourself a break. You don't have anything to feel guilty for.
You did the right thing for both of you. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt (hell, doing the right thing can hurt more than anything!), but remember that when you're feeling down. You did the best you could in the circumstances, and you are not resonspible for how he deals with things from here. He is responsible for himself. The world isn't neat and tidy and more often than not there is no neat resolution or “closure”. You just have to pick yourself up and keep going.
As for how to get over it, it's a cliche but it's also true: time. Everything will feel raw at the moment but time will pass and as you get a bit of distance between yourself and that situation it'll get easier.
Not that it’s surprising, but there are a lot of snap judgments in these comments that lack a lot of empathy. Yes, this really sucks you learned that he has/had some of those thoughts OP, and I’m sure it doesn’t feel good. But this sounds like he was trying to walk through a healthy therapeutic exercise. This is absolutely classic thinking of someone trying to process a toxic relationship and figure out what a healthy one looks like. Everything he has to say about your relationship in the end really is a positive, and sometimes realizing that a good happy life isn’t constant excitement can be a little confusing. Everyone saying he is terrible for comparing you both etc is baffling to me – what would be terrible is if he said this TO you in a hurtful way; OR if he never processed any of his feelings at all. A few questions, how easy was this notebook for you to find? Did he leave it open on the kitchen table, or were you looking through his personal stuff? It’s kinda messed up to read someone’s journal like that, though I know there’s ways you could have stumbled on it and started reading before you realized. But be honest with yourself, were you snooping a little bit? Also who knows how long ago he wrote this? This might have been earlier on when he was deciding on a commitment to you and some of his toxic relationship feelings were more fresh. He may not feel this way anymore. I think if this is going to eat you up inside you should talk to him about it, but you need to start by apologizing for reading his very personal journaling that quite likely has helped him become a better partner to you.
The boxers I can understand. Put on a pair of shorts.
But asking you to stop walking around in shorts, is going to far. Also the shirtless comment.
Does her daughter never go swimming with boys around? I hate to say it, but boys usually go shirtless when swimming, playing sports, working outside, etc. So that is over the top.
Also if her and her daughter are going to walk around in their underwear, they have no right saying you can't. If she has a issue, then they both need to wear clothes too.
It is your house, but you allowed them to move in. You need to sit down and talk about this. Explain to her, that her 14 year old daughter shouldn't be walking around in her underwear, and neither should she.
Compromise is you will stop wearing boxers only. They stop walking around in their underwear only too. All intimate apparel must be covered. But they can't ask you to wear a shirt, or stop wearing shorts.
If they can't accept that, then they need to find some place else to live.
No it won't. Is she getting wet enough (or at all) before you attempt sex? Is there enough foreplay?
Yup also something that irks me, I don’t think he would’ve told me. Which hurts even more and makes me angrier at him. I would’ve rather him have been honest about it before he got caught.
It's a you problem.
He wasn't even going to tell you.
Ask yourself what other dumb shit has he maybe done that he's never told you about?
Motorcycle rider here and this really jumped out at me as well. Drunk driving is 100% a breakup worthy offense and drunk riding with a passenger is an excellent way to turn yourself and your partner into paste.
He sounds like he's incredibly toxic, immature, and an emotional vampire. Until he grows up, gets his life in order, and gets professional help for his issues, I'd stay NC.
Right now he sounds potentially like a danger to himself and possibly you and others as well. Until he fixes his shit, steer clear of him.
Ah isn't it crazy the difference a year makes
No answer is an answer. If the answer was an unequivocal yes, she would say that. Respect her soft no.
you don’t!!! do not tie yourself to this man and his stupid financial ideas!!!
i make roughly 10k more a year than my fiancé and i still handle more and pick up the slack for our finances. if we had a wage gap as large as yours it would be split percentage based. it is ludicrous that this man supposedly loves you enough to buy a house with you but not enough to treat you with respect and kindness. he has the ability to take financial stress off your shoulders and work together as a team for a solution and instead he’s refusing and won’t try to compromise?? doesn’t exactly sound like someone you should be with forever
Really! What is wrong with this boy
Pay for your porn. Make sure it's ethically sourced
My advice is to forget about her. She'll sprinkle hope on the guy that shoots his shot if you two ever get together too.
Witnessing your abuse could lead to your kids becoming abuse victims or abusers themselves.
Time for Sophie's Choice. Pick one to be an abuser and one to be an abuse victim. Not fun, is it?
This could be their future unless you put a stop to the abuse. Yesterday.
Wow it’s been ONE week. That’s a sign girl
He doesn’t do any chores, won’t even wash his own dishes, he isn’t paying any rent to on-line there, and he’s grumpy af whenever you ask him to help make the home liveable. Did you not realize that your boyfriend is in fact a petulant goblin?
What’s he bringing to the relationship? Cuz what I see is he thinks he’s got it made now with his free ride and thinks he no longer has to work on this relationship for it to succeed.
He’s gotta move back out. Mulligan this arrangement. It’s your new home, it shouldn’t be tainted by this.
I’m looking for someone who can relate to how I feel. You don’t know that there isn’t someone on here who can relate to my feelings who could help me out.
Bruh… lmao you’re washing him in the shower? Nah, I would dump someone over this for sure. An adult should know how to shower.