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Go for it. She was up front and transparent and asked for your thoughts. She seems nice, and not insane, so that’s always a Plus. Take a chance. You never know what might happen.
Send it?
Yes mommy.
You prevent it by breaking up with him. He is going to continue to beg and you are going to continue to give in and then cry and feel terrible about yourself. There is no fixing this. You and he are incompatible. No matter how well you get along in other areas, this is a deal breaker. He doesn’t respect you and sees you only as a sex object solely for his release. And can you really respect a man who begs for sex, then mopes and gets mad until you give up and let him rape you? Get out now. There is a man out there who respects you, who you will want to make love with, not be a sperm depository. You have no idea how much better you will feel when he is gone.
sounds like more of a morality policeman than a boyfriend. Even if you were playing with yourself, so what?? He should be glad if you're having some fun…not call you weird. Sounds like you didn't react enough!!! Why sleep with anyone who bothers you like that??
Obviously, you've never been a carer. I have been, and I have no clue how he lasted three years. Three years! Full time job and full time care…right down to bathing her. I'm shocked. I did it for 6 months and it almost killed me.
My grandparents immigrated here and came with nothing. My dad had that same kind of pressure. Still, they would never have disowned him. It is not a healthy element of a culture for a familial bond to be that thin.
Good, and just stay home PERMANENTLY. Away from this selfish douchebag.
Find another dude who cares about you, because this one ain't it.
I truly am trying not to. His pain is just as valid as mine, if not more. We are both hurting, and I think we're aware of it. He did say it won't be the same as well before, due to his intrusive thoughts, but appears to be more open about it since unlike his ex, well…I want to be fully open to them. I know it might be work, or it might be all ruined, I just really want to work on this. Whatever comes out of it, relationship, friendship.
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The way you speak about her “not doing anything” makes it pretty clear why she “wants” to do this. She most likely knows how you think/feel/speak about her.
She doesn’t respect you are your wife. She definitely did it on purpose. I had friends that would purposely ruin relationships, cut them off. You chose to do nothing about the situation so your wife has every right to upset because of you and your “friend”.
Would your opinion change if the father got a divorce once he realized he would rather be with someone else? Instead of having an affair that apparently ended up being the reason for divorce anyway.
People split all the time, dad just found a more preferable partner, and if the first one was the kind that gives her children ultimatums about being allowed to have contact with just one of the parents, I'd assume it wasn't a tough thing to do
Why do you doubt it?
He lied to you.
He pushed you to get over the whole thing too quickly and sweep it under the rug.
He didn't allow you to make an informed decision about the relationship. He intentionally deceived you to deny you the ability to make an informed decision.
What else is he lying about?
Considering he hadn't already had a vasectomy, she might not lose much.
Thanks, I understand she might not be the same person as she was at the beginning of the relationship but also looking back I think she's quite insecure about alot of things. There were other messages indicating she is worried she wouldn't find someone if we didn't go and that king of makes me feel shit as well. That she's with me because she's scared of being alone.
How do I bring this up because I am in the wrong for reading this and breaking her trust.
The comments are wild here
Hate to say it OP but after a year and a half you folks at an impasse where no compromise is possible. You wish to move for perfectly valid reasons, she doesn't want to move for equally valid reasons. So unless you can come to a compromise over this (which is doubtful without one of you “losing” out to the other) then you'll be moving on your own.
I get that you have some great reason for wanting to move however these are all your reasons and not hers. If she had some sort of investment and the move was of benefit to her, then she could see her way clear to move with you. But to her there is none – you are wanting to move for your reasons and her wishes/wants are not part of these reasons.
So have you looked at what possible benefits there are for her moving? Or have you not given that any thought?
this actually helped me feel relieved in a way. she did mention that she does that kind of coping mechanism of giving a “silent treatment” growing up and i can't blame her for that. i did promise to be patient of her with that until she get to fix that habit, but as of now i may be struggling with the being patient part.
i do hope that we get to the point of needing only an hour to breath and calm ourselves but as of now, seems like a day is what she needs.
we actually did sat down and talked about this issue of ours for not so long ago, but i guess it's inevitable to happen sooner or later.
anyways, thank you for sharing your experience. it actually helped think about things in a different way, especially from my partner's perspective.
You’re 31. You met Adam when you were 21. You started dating your husband when you were 14?
Of course you still think of Adam. He was your first adult relationship.
And then your husband was ok with you having sex with a woman & maintaining that relationship, but he forced you to end your friendship with Adam before you were ready to do so in your own.
She’s testing the waters here. It doesn’t sound as if it is for you and she wants her own relationship with a woman, probs not being part of your fantasy. So either monogamous or you both mess around with others. It will end in a mess of emotions for all involved.
I would offer to take the kids and let her find her own way.
If he's doing it 2-3 times a night every night and presumably other stuff with OP involved there won't be a lot of evidence.