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Honestly, this sucks and you're not a bad person for developing a crush on someone you spend a lot of time with. It happens!
But, he's with someone. Full stop. You shouldn't be feeling “so, so conflicted.” What are you conflicted? He's taken, end of story.
I don't fault you for having a crush, but stop indulging it. If you can't avoid him outright, keep the focus on work. Don't talk to him about his dreams or personal life. Every time you start fantasizing about him, actively shut it down.
This is gonna sound funny but I am a twin. Was inseparable with my sister for the longest time. I have an older and younger brother. Was pretty close with the oldest one growing up but the younger one was much younger than me and my other siblings. Needless to say my sister and I’d relationship fell apart after I joined the military and she committed suicide a couple years later and I tried connecting with my older brother afterwards. When I got out of the army I pretty much relied on him for sibling emotional support and it wasn’t returned. I had to drop the rope, basically stop initiating everything and it sucked. We didn’t get closer. We still love each other a lot but we’re not close like I wanted to be and needed to be after my womb mates death. I ended up moving away and basically restarting my life. So not the best example with family. Needless to say you can’t fix a broken bridge with a jackhammer. Let it crumble, try to move on and maybe eventually they’ll see the error of their ways and try to reconnect. I’ve slowly reconnected with my brother a little bit but it’s very random and stretched out. Are relationship is mostly appreciation for each other(on top of love obviously). I hope you find a way to move past this and not let it bother you any more or at least not as much.
As someone who grew up in a family of addicts, and recently lost a little sister to drug over dose. I am going to tell you now.
She is having a very hot time in the places she is living in, because she is choosing her addiction over everything and everyone else. She is causing problems for her self. I guarantee that her family are trying to give her rules and expectations, or trying to help her get clean, and she is not willing to do what they want, or get clean.
She is creating her own situation. Unfortunately it will end in one of two ways. One she is going to have to decide she has enough and want to get clean, and do the work herself. No one can help her with this.
Two she will be six feet under.
Your bf can't help her, he can't save her, she has to want to save herself. By giving her money, she isn't paying her bills she is using it to fund her addiction, Hence the reason she is always struggling to pay bills. Hold down jobs etc.
If you allow her to move in, it will do nothing but destroy your relationship. Your bf is doing a good enough job on his own by continuing to enable his friend to continue the behavior and enable her addiction.
He will rather lose you, than not help her. You need to decide what you want in life, because as long as he continues like he is, you will have to deal with this your whole life. You need to make him choose between you or her at this point.
I guarantee he is going to try to move her in whether you want him too or not. Look at how he gave her more money after he said he wouldn't. He don't care what you think.
You need to show him this post and comments. Maybe that will open his eyes.
I wish you luck, and I hope that his friend decides to get help before her addiction kills her.