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I have been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years. We have a dog and an apartment together. I moved across the country to be with her.
My sister is 21 and flew here to visit me for my birthday, she currently lives with her boyfriend in another state. Her relationship is not healthy and she desperately wants out, but has nowhere to go, as neither of us have a relationship with my mom and our dad is dead. She can’t afford her own place and doesn’t drive, and lives in the middle of nowhere without close friends or family, so she feels very stuck. My girlfriend will not let her stay with us (our place is very small) and obviously that’s her decision, and this is her house too.
I decided I was going to move out and get a place with my sister, at least for a few months while she gets on her feet here, since our lease is up in our apartment at the end of the month. My girlfriend has told me that I need to either choose between my sister staying here and our relationship. If I move in with my sister, we’ll break up. She tells me I can’t have both, I need to choose what I want.
I love my girlfriend and immense amount, but I love my sister more than anyone, and (obviously in a different way) and she is essentially my only family. I feel like a horrible person either way 🙁
How do I even cope with making a decision like this? Am I completely in the wrong here?
EDIT to answer questions:
-My sister knows no one here, this is literally the first time she’s ever been here. She’s extremely anxious living alone or with a roommate at the moment, she’s lived with her boyfriend who she relied on him (as she literally has no license or even a high school education) for most things since she moved in with him, it would be for a few months while she learns to be independent, learns to drive, and gets a job. She is aware it would not be permanent. – I could not afford my own rent and my sisters until she gets in a better place if she would to get her own place separately.
-I floated the bigger place thing and my girlfriend is absolutely against my sister living with us. She constantly talks about how she finds her annoying and she’s only been here a week. Like I said, my sister has for the most part, never been independent, and can probably be a bit annoying in that aspect. I would consider her less mature than most 21 year olds in that matter. -If she has other reasons for not liking her, I’m really not aware as to why.
Also, I’m not a man. Sorry if it seems like I am not answering comments with context, I am at work and there are a lot. Figured an edit would be the fastest way. There’s some more context about my sister that would explain why she struggles with a lot of things, but I’m worried it would identify/don’t want to violate her privacy too much.
Side note: I asked if she could just stay another week to decide what she’s going to do, and my girlfriend told me no, not even another 2/3 days, she agreed to letting her come for a week, not longer. I understand the boundary of not wanting her to on-line here, which is why I offered to move out with my sister.
Side note part 2: I have NEVER flinched at helping mr girlfriends family. Her mother, teenager sister, and their dog (who bit me and almost attacked my dog) slept on our couch on and off for months while they went through some stuff. I’m not a huge fan of her mother, but I dealt with it because I understand family.