Not necessarily, if you and your boyfriend envision a future together, skipping directly to the trials of living together with the two of you is a good idea. It’ll help you guys grow, learn about each other’s needs a little more, and kinda get a grasp of what marriage would be like. It’s practice
She is taking advantage of you, lol. She looks at this baby as an all expenses paid vacation from her adult responsibilities and a way to make you her slave. Prove her wrong, lol.
I do love playing games with him! We play some co-op and multiplayer games sometimes, but I can't satisfy his urges to play specific co-op competitive games, and he really enjoys the dynamic of playing games with several people as he does with his group of friends. He also does communicate with his friends on Discord, and since we're long distance we also do the majority of our communication on Discord too! I'm also a part of his friends' Discord server, but it's hot to get into the games that they play together or even try to talk to them when they are gaming.
Change doesn't happen overnight, and even after such an intense conversation you might slip up. The important thing is that you want to change, you try to change and you are changing, slowly.
like come on, it’s not like i can actually do that and i won’t. i’m just exaggerating myself into saying that. he said that it’s really “ewww” like wtf?????
You made a poor joke during a conversation that was already uncomfortable with the relationship chat and such. You sounded both immature and bitter. There is a time for jokes, this time was way too awkward for that. You probably need to get better at thinking things through before doing them and also “reading the room” before pulling pranks.
It’s not normal, it’s incest, and gross. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t bring it up and stayed complicit. His mom needs to finds other male attention other than her son. If he gets angry at you and defends his mom then he can go ahead fuck around with his mom but you’re getting the fuck out. He’ll enjoy having you explain it to your divorce lawyer.
The thing that pisses me off is that she hurt his feelings and she turned it around to be about her feelings and had OP consoling her for the rest of the trip. That’s a very selfish thing to do to your partner.
Yes, OP. This is a common scam to get money. They didn't send you the video for a reason. Someone I know was scammed out of hundreds of dollars because the person claimed they were underage after the nudes were exchanged.
Well that’s the end of the line of the relationship once jealousy starts it’s basically over but this is why you just don’t do open relationships I couldn’t get it out of my head of my girl sleeping with someone else then coming to see me yea that’s a hot pass for me but I wouldn’t ever participate in this
I would only say it’s morally wrong if the dick pic was wanted. If it was an unsolicited dick pic, it’s not so morally wrong imo. If you send a dick pic (or for a woman, pictures of your tits/ vagina) unsolicited, I would expect that you want other people to see it. If it was a private, agreed upon exchange of the pictures, then it is wrong to share the pictures for sure.
We met through the gym after I went for a few months and it’s been one of my biggest focuses so that’s one that’s difficult to separate unfortunately. I read a lot and play video games with on-line friends too. I hang out with my best friend often and FaceTime other friends, but I’ve only had one friend that has been available because of work schedules.
I’m aware it’s not healthy and I’ve been considering therapy because I don’t want to keep doing this for the rest of my life 🙁
This would be an absolute deal breaker for me. You are understandably confused, hurt and betrayed. Do you feel you would be safe if you confronted him without a plan to leave? People can change when confronted by deep, dark secrets. If you don’t know or feel you would be safe, keep it to yourself and work out your plan. Can you talk to your school about housing options? Look on local pages for people seeking roommates. A motel room as a temporary option? Start slowly packing your absolute essentials in a go-bag, just in case.
She could clearly see the other person using the bench but asked me for some reason, but that's besides the point, I'm not saying this girl “approached me” I just want to know why she is staring at me after she already told me no.
If you want him to see you are trying to change, you have to show him you are trying to change. Words are meaningless if not followed up on with actions.
You said one of the things he took issue with was that you would disappear and go silent, but then after not talking to him for 3 days you post on Reddit asking for advice instead of messaging him to see how he is? Does that seem like an effort to change that behavior? I'm guessing he doesn't see an effort because there really isn't an effort.
You don't have to drop a book on him in a text, but you could always message him to ask how he is doing and suggest another day to make plans.
Just to say it again: the way you handled the question from the guy was very professional. Indeed, if he asked for your contact to talk about research (that is, if you are working on similar topics and an exchange would make sense), there’s no way you could discern that he was trying to hit on you.
In a university setting, I would always give out my contact details freely. You never know how some contacts can help you in the future.
This is to say, your bf’s reaction was unreasonable.
Ok, I think you need to proceed with the understanding that he'll most likely never lose this fetish, so this will always be an element in your relationship no matter what. Even if you convinced him to 100% give up the porn – which I don't see as being very likely – you'd still know he's thinking about other people that appeal to his fetish whenever he's having sex with you.
So you have to decide if that's something you can on-line with for the rest of your life. And if not, then you should probably break up, because you'll never both be happy in this situation. Either he's forced to give up his fetish, or you carry on feeling inadequate and unwanted. In either case, one of you will probably end up resenting the other.
I would suggest professional help at this point. Yelling isn't productive. You can talk at normal volumes and express your feelings without raising your voice to some one.
If neither of you can remember these fights or sort out what you are even fighting about, I would say neither of you are really ready to be someone's partner.
Of course you still loge her and you have the urge to take her back and get your old relationship.
But you have to remember that she is the one who just threw the relationship away. She threw you away. Like the last 5 years didn't exist.
I do not know what her reasoning was for it but if I was truly in love with someone, I wouldn't “take a break”. I wouldn't move 100 miles away and I wouldn't break my partners heart just to try and pick them up again after 2 DAYS.
I think the key part is talk 'like good friends.' I'm assuming that means that while they're friendly they're not friends outside of the typical barber client relationship? Like haven't hung out etc. If that's the case I think it would be really weird for you to go and meet him. Your boyfriend is right in that other couples don't do that because meeting your partners barber isn't a relationship milestone. I think it's less about your partner wanting to talk about other women but more your partner thinking it would be awkward situation for everyone.
But before she vanished with him, you’ve said she says “this can’t happen again”. So was this the 2nd time she’d slept with this guy? Because adults don’t just kiss and cuddle, unless they’re starting dating and contemplating a long term relationship, in which some have a rule of waiting a month or so.
Honestly she’s probably just scared of rejection from her past so she is rejecting you first. It’s a fear based response. Although what she is doing is terrible that’s what it is unfortunately. If you still want to give it a try maybe showing up to talk to her might help you get closure. Or resolve things. People who have faced trauma act in odd ways.
This totally seems like joking about the pajamas being sexy. I wouldn't sabotage the relationship over these innocent texts.
However, if the uncle has crossed the line with previous girlfriends, it warrants a sit down conversation with her about how sketchy he is. Ask her if he ever seems creepy or overly interested. Warn her that if she ever thinks he is being creepy, to trust herself and not give him the benefit of the doubt. Just ignore him or tell you about it so you can tackle it together.
she began to interrupt me by repeatedly say “that's not true that's not true that's not true that's not true” until I got so fed up
Nope. Nooooooope. Nope nope nope. You don't sound perfect here, but there's no way in HELL. I'm not here to get yelled at or talked over, if that's the way it's gonna be, I'm out.
like idrk hwo to word it
Not necessarily, if you and your boyfriend envision a future together, skipping directly to the trials of living together with the two of you is a good idea. It’ll help you guys grow, learn about each other’s needs a little more, and kinda get a grasp of what marriage would be like. It’s practice
She is taking advantage of you, lol. She looks at this baby as an all expenses paid vacation from her adult responsibilities and a way to make you her slave. Prove her wrong, lol.
I do love playing games with him! We play some co-op and multiplayer games sometimes, but I can't satisfy his urges to play specific co-op competitive games, and he really enjoys the dynamic of playing games with several people as he does with his group of friends. He also does communicate with his friends on Discord, and since we're long distance we also do the majority of our communication on Discord too! I'm also a part of his friends' Discord server, but it's hot to get into the games that they play together or even try to talk to them when they are gaming.
Change doesn't happen overnight, and even after such an intense conversation you might slip up. The important thing is that you want to change, you try to change and you are changing, slowly.
like come on, it’s not like i can actually do that and i won’t. i’m just exaggerating myself into saying that. he said that it’s really “ewww” like wtf?????
She is an ex for a reason. Looks like you listed many. She might have worked on one of them in 6 months but no way she has worked on all of them.
You made a poor joke during a conversation that was already uncomfortable with the relationship chat and such. You sounded both immature and bitter. There is a time for jokes, this time was way too awkward for that. You probably need to get better at thinking things through before doing them and also “reading the room” before pulling pranks.
It’s not normal, it’s incest, and gross. You wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t bring it up and stayed complicit. His mom needs to finds other male attention other than her son. If he gets angry at you and defends his mom then he can go ahead fuck around with his mom but you’re getting the fuck out. He’ll enjoy having you explain it to your divorce lawyer.
The thing that pisses me off is that she hurt his feelings and she turned it around to be about her feelings and had OP consoling her for the rest of the trip. That’s a very selfish thing to do to your partner.
110% she is out cheating on you. You can either sit back and be in denial or grow a set and leave her.
I'm being very realistic here.
Is he on medication?
WTF is wrong with men like this?
Yes, OP. This is a common scam to get money. They didn't send you the video for a reason. Someone I know was scammed out of hundreds of dollars because the person claimed they were underage after the nudes were exchanged.
You were married 5 months ago, and you've been dating this girl for a year and a half?
Assuming she's a real girl, you should break up with her and save her from spending any more time with you.
No matter the truth, you should seek therapy.
Lol sounds like a good ending to me! A woman that isn’t afraid to put herself first. Shoutout to your mom.
What a douchebag, wow.
Also just curious here: Is he the best sex partner you've had?
My degree is in sociology, it’s just a class
Thank you!
Well that’s the end of the line of the relationship once jealousy starts it’s basically over but this is why you just don’t do open relationships I couldn’t get it out of my head of my girl sleeping with someone else then coming to see me yea that’s a hot pass for me but I wouldn’t ever participate in this
I would only say it’s morally wrong if the dick pic was wanted. If it was an unsolicited dick pic, it’s not so morally wrong imo. If you send a dick pic (or for a woman, pictures of your tits/ vagina) unsolicited, I would expect that you want other people to see it. If it was a private, agreed upon exchange of the pictures, then it is wrong to share the pictures for sure.
We met through the gym after I went for a few months and it’s been one of my biggest focuses so that’s one that’s difficult to separate unfortunately. I read a lot and play video games with on-line friends too. I hang out with my best friend often and FaceTime other friends, but I’ve only had one friend that has been available because of work schedules.
I’m aware it’s not healthy and I’ve been considering therapy because I don’t want to keep doing this for the rest of my life 🙁
This would be an absolute deal breaker for me. You are understandably confused, hurt and betrayed. Do you feel you would be safe if you confronted him without a plan to leave? People can change when confronted by deep, dark secrets. If you don’t know or feel you would be safe, keep it to yourself and work out your plan. Can you talk to your school about housing options? Look on local pages for people seeking roommates. A motel room as a temporary option? Start slowly packing your absolute essentials in a go-bag, just in case.
She could clearly see the other person using the bench but asked me for some reason, but that's besides the point, I'm not saying this girl “approached me” I just want to know why she is staring at me after she already told me no.
Sadly, separating seems like the best option.
She blames you for everything, then she no longer appreciates you.
Just be prepared for the worst case that divorce happens
If you want him to see you are trying to change, you have to show him you are trying to change. Words are meaningless if not followed up on with actions.
You said one of the things he took issue with was that you would disappear and go silent, but then after not talking to him for 3 days you post on Reddit asking for advice instead of messaging him to see how he is? Does that seem like an effort to change that behavior? I'm guessing he doesn't see an effort because there really isn't an effort.
You don't have to drop a book on him in a text, but you could always message him to ask how he is doing and suggest another day to make plans.
You are correct and he is wrong.
Just to say it again: the way you handled the question from the guy was very professional. Indeed, if he asked for your contact to talk about research (that is, if you are working on similar topics and an exchange would make sense), there’s no way you could discern that he was trying to hit on you.
In a university setting, I would always give out my contact details freely. You never know how some contacts can help you in the future.
This is to say, your bf’s reaction was unreasonable.
Overly high maintenance from someone who likely doesn't merit the effort she requires
Ok, I think you need to proceed with the understanding that he'll most likely never lose this fetish, so this will always be an element in your relationship no matter what. Even if you convinced him to 100% give up the porn – which I don't see as being very likely – you'd still know he's thinking about other people that appeal to his fetish whenever he's having sex with you.
So you have to decide if that's something you can on-line with for the rest of your life. And if not, then you should probably break up, because you'll never both be happy in this situation. Either he's forced to give up his fetish, or you carry on feeling inadequate and unwanted. In either case, one of you will probably end up resenting the other.
I would suggest professional help at this point. Yelling isn't productive. You can talk at normal volumes and express your feelings without raising your voice to some one.
If neither of you can remember these fights or sort out what you are even fighting about, I would say neither of you are really ready to be someone's partner.
I wouldn't take her back personally.
Of course you still loge her and you have the urge to take her back and get your old relationship.
But you have to remember that she is the one who just threw the relationship away. She threw you away. Like the last 5 years didn't exist.
I do not know what her reasoning was for it but if I was truly in love with someone, I wouldn't “take a break”. I wouldn't move 100 miles away and I wouldn't break my partners heart just to try and pick them up again after 2 DAYS.
I think the key part is talk 'like good friends.' I'm assuming that means that while they're friendly they're not friends outside of the typical barber client relationship? Like haven't hung out etc. If that's the case I think it would be really weird for you to go and meet him. Your boyfriend is right in that other couples don't do that because meeting your partners barber isn't a relationship milestone. I think it's less about your partner wanting to talk about other women but more your partner thinking it would be awkward situation for everyone.
If you have been benzoed enough to be out cold it would be extremely obvious when you woke up because you would be so disoriented/foggy.
But before she vanished with him, you’ve said she says “this can’t happen again”. So was this the 2nd time she’d slept with this guy? Because adults don’t just kiss and cuddle, unless they’re starting dating and contemplating a long term relationship, in which some have a rule of waiting a month or so.
As if anyone comes fresh out of college (I’ve only been out 8 months now) with a high paying job.
In tech? Allllllll the fucking time my man.
Oh boy! Asking to open the relationship says it all. OP, that video is not old.
Honestly she’s probably just scared of rejection from her past so she is rejecting you first. It’s a fear based response. Although what she is doing is terrible that’s what it is unfortunately. If you still want to give it a try maybe showing up to talk to her might help you get closure. Or resolve things. People who have faced trauma act in odd ways.
This totally seems like joking about the pajamas being sexy. I wouldn't sabotage the relationship over these innocent texts.
However, if the uncle has crossed the line with previous girlfriends, it warrants a sit down conversation with her about how sketchy he is. Ask her if he ever seems creepy or overly interested. Warn her that if she ever thinks he is being creepy, to trust herself and not give him the benefit of the doubt. Just ignore him or tell you about it so you can tackle it together.
Maybe suck it
I’m no expert on biology, but I believe there may be some evidence of a man engaging in onanism. Unless she has caught him literally 100% of the time.
Sound like he just has strange breathing and she’s waking him up.
Or this guy is a living vibrator that never sleeps and never needs recharging.
she began to interrupt me by repeatedly say “that's not true that's not true that's not true that's not true” until I got so fed up
Nope. Nooooooope. Nope nope nope. You don't sound perfect here, but there's no way in HELL. I'm not here to get yelled at or talked over, if that's the way it's gonna be, I'm out.