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Model from: de
Languages: de,en
Birth Date: 1979-12-21
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorRed
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Get out of and then go where? The power dynamic would allow for him to evict her.
He's not opposed to me having an income, but doesn't understand that I have personal needs and I would appreciate some pocket money so can can get something if I need it and don't have to ask you know…
No he’s not.
While your long distance relationship feels amazing look at the facts. An adult “dated” a child. It really isn’t dating because you have never met in person. If it means so much to him that you be together he can come and meet you here with family and friends to support you. Have you even face-timed or seen videos of him? Anybody can be anything when it is all words.
If your relationship has been a rollercoaster long distance it will only get worse in person. Right now, all you have are words between you so you can both gloss over character traits you can’t avoid seeing in person. I wonder if a lot of the rollercoaster may have been you not agreeing with him? Once you do do things improve? If so, he is slowly taking your sense of self away and that is called grooming and gently coercing you to accept his ways even if they are uncomfortable for you. He uses logic, guilt and trusting him to know best to counter your concerns. Does this sound familiar?
If you are asking strangers for their opinion you are questioning your own. Let him know you are not ready for that level of commitment. If he is pushing you when you are clearly scared, does he really have your best interest at heart? Let him take the next big step and come to you. If he cannot or will not do what he expects you to do, that is a big red flag.
While a short visit there could bring your relationship to a deeper level, it is not guaranteed. You could be walking into a very dangerous situation as well. Have you considered telling your parents and asking one of them, preferably your father for safety, to go with you? If it checks out you can stay and your parent return home. How would your boyfriend react to that? Is he trying to welcome you or isolate you?
Listen to your friends. You should have more dating experience before going all in on a first relationship that is just words. Truth and lies are easily hidden long distance. Go slow, you have time. So does he, even if he argues he doesn’t. If he continues to pressure you let him go. Relationships should support one another, not cause doubts, fear or pressure to go beyond your comfort level regarding safety. Being challenged to grow and try new experiences is one of the best things about dating, but being asked to disregard your sense of self-preservation is a red flag.
My former roommate acted very similarly and blamed it all on her ADHD when… I know dozens of people with it who don’t have nearly as many issues and are also unmedicated. I’m autistic and have a physical disability but I (ave my gf) was expected to take care of her. We evicted her last week because of the year and a half of continuous problems with no effort into changing them. Some people don’t want to be helped, they want to be coddled and you’re not his mother. He needs to grow up and accept that he can’t always be entertained like a child.