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Its time you have a talk about what SHE is going to do about it and break up with her if she expects you to change things. I know it sucks and you do not want to hear this but ultimately, she already broke up the relationship.
Trust that she had no bad intentions and that she simply did not know better but to consult you. Even though it was a bad decision to do so.
In a adult relationship, crushes can happen. However, there is nothing you can do. You think about it, realize something in the relationship is missing perhaps and make a decision to stay or to leave. You dont expect your partner to solve your own shit.
Love is about decisions and its not only possible but absolutely needed to make a decision to love your partner every day again. She decided to instead confront you with a impossible problem for you to solve.
Break up and give her time. Genuinly move on. Sorry you are going through this.
I just dont want to be a replacement. We are relatively happy aside from the fact that he's a bit closed off emotionally but I never wanted to push him.
So stop dating him.