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  1. He really has nothing to gain by this. Its difficult to think he's lying when its not gonna affect his life either way.

  2. Mhmm that makes sense… But he knows I have a pretty high drive and I'm always down for it. Idw to have to make rules about it, feels kind of robotic?

    It's more like I want him to initiate because it makes me feel desired 🙁

  3. Seems like you just go through this subreddit telling people to breakup and pretending that you know the situation better than they do but okay.

    As I said, she got transferred to the new team with the unreasonable manager. She didn't go looking for high stress.

    It also seems like you don't understand that some people come from generational poverty and take on “high-stress” lifestyles to, I don't know, fund their parents retirement and break the cycle? I didn't add this to the post because it is not relevant to the advice I'm looking for. But since assumptions make an ass out of you and me, I've added the context.

    I am looking for advice on coping mechanisms and strategies, not whatever garbage you are putting here.

  4. To say that it is inappropriate to have male friends over without her boyfriend there to supervise is the stretch. They obviously need to work on their boundaries, but she isn't chattel

  5. And then I realized that this is a really good dude. My next thought was, “I hope my daughters find someone like this.”

  6. She clearly wants to show off and maybe become jealous, that's not normal. There's is absolutely no need for you to message back buuuut if you want to be petty text her “great me too ?” and you'll know she will be fuming lol

  7. u/XMRNeighbor, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  8. You partner is crazy, she has some issue with her sister.

    Even if you looked at the butt (chances are you looked at it unconsciously for a split second) that doesn't mean you are attracted to her and no way that makes you a pedophile.

    It rather means your partner was monitoring where you looked, and probably was already anticipating to find something she made up beforehand.

  9. I absolutely love my therapist. She has changed my life this last year. Recently, I brought my boyfriend in for a couples assessment. Even she wouldn't agree to consistent couples therapy and offered to suggest a few for us if we wanted to go down that road.

    It's very unethical to treat a person both individually and in a couple. As other comments have said – it may just be inexperience on her part as you said she's in her 20s-30s. Personally I'm not sure that's accurate but it could be plausible if you're looking on the plus side.

    While there are some pink flags (mentioning divorce, potential flirting through text), it really comes down to you and your husband. I'd suggest expressing your concerns to him and seeing what you can do to make both of you comfortable. You do have every right to bring up your concerns to him. It can also take a few tries to find a good therapist. I looked for my new one because I liked my old therapist but didn't love her. If your husband doesn't love his therapist and wouldn't mind looking for another I think that would be your best option. It doesn't sound like he is attached to keeping her.

    I hope this helps and that you two can find a good compromise!

  10. Hello /u/Mysterious-Sugar-429,

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  11. Tell her to send a text (or some other method) if it's important and that you don't use your voicemail and don't like talking on the phone. Then stop listening to her messages, and stop answering her calls. Let her fill up your inbox until she can't send any more voice mails. Make it clear that communication will be on your terms with respect to your boundaries, or there will be no communication at all.

  12. I understand that I am capable of handling myself and Troy also knows that. I should go ahead and establish boundaries myself and I will. I'm honestly embarrassed to say I feel disappointed Troy doesn't care more. Not that I think it's a measure of his love for me but if the roles were reversed I would have felt it was my problem, too.

  13. She has already asked me what I want her to do to make me more comfortable – I have told her that I don't want her to think she can't have friends at work, but nothing more than work friends.

    She then asked what about playing games with this work friend in the evening – something that has been tricky for me to evaluate. In my mind, she can sometimes spend 8 hours at work with this guy, and then want to spend more time with him in the evening, so it kinda sucks to think of in that way. Anyway, I told her that I didn't mind her occasionally playing games with the guy, but really I don't know how I feel about it. She says she feels the need to ask me for permission to play with him on games, which I told her of course she doesn't, I don't control her. But it still upsets me that we could be playing games together or watching a film together. Just spending time together. But, yeah.

  14. It’s funny two people can play the same exact game at the same time.

    I won’t message her to see if she REALLY likes me, and she won’t message me to see if I really like her.

    In the end, we’re both miserable waiting around for a text that isn’t coming.

    I always reach out. I don’t give a shit about looking needy or anything like that. I hate these stupid ass games. If I reach out and get no reply fine. But I’m goin got reach out. I know what I’m looking for.

    The reason you feel some type of way is because you finally let your guard down. Got excited for a potential love interest, and when the rug was pulled out by reality, you’re left feeling vulnerable and taken advantage of.

    Why don’t you message him and ask what gives? What is he MIA?

    Then again, if he really likes you he would have sent something to let you know.

    I can’t help but send a message of I really like someone. Like I said, I don’t care about looking needy or whatever it is that stops people from reaching out.

  15. You are right to be upset. That's completely okay. Have a conversation with him. Be respectful and kind, but honest and firm about your feelings.

  16. Tbf expecting somebody to never get drunk seems boarderline unreasonable.

    Thay being said, even though i dont think the excuse is terrible, the gf is entitled to how she feels and deserves space

    A lot of people are understanding of alchohol and strippers, hence see the american bachelor/bachelorette party default tradition of strippers, but not everybody is and thats a risk you take

  17. Would you be carpooling as often / looking out for a much younger colleague in the same ways if it were a man instead?

  18. Would you be carpooling as often / looking out for a much younger colleague in the same ways if it were a man instead?

  19. Well they sure don't seem to want to know me since they only talk to me If I begin the conversation. And even then they just answer what I ask and leave it at that for the most part. Even with my husband there isn't a lot of talking really. Especially for so called friends. Though as I have only been with them twice at the bar maybe it had something to do with me. But I always try to talk to them and they always keep it short.

    I have looked them up and everything seems…. wel empty for the most part. They don't post really anything and none of them have wives as far as their post or info states. Nor kids or anything of that kind. Just some pictures of work or just being outside somewhere.

    They definitely could be doing something illegal but I have literally no proof of that. And nothing aside from the weird friends indicate to me that something illegal is going on.

    We have a shared account and nothing suspicious goes to anything on there. No debt or anything as far as I know either. No transfers to other accounts. And I see the money from his job being placed on our shared account so he definitely works we he says he works. I even have come to his workplace once and he was there just working like you would expect him too. No other style change either he looks like he has always looked as far as I have known him.

  20. Don't hang yourself, definitely. Go on and live! your best life. Can't do that with some heifer who goes around sticking her tongue down people's throats, though.

  21. I think the question you should be asking yourself is:

    “How long am i gonna put up with my husbands toxic friends who he is clearly emotionally dependent on and prioritizes over me and our baby? Especially when I've been in this situation myself and removed those kind of people out of my life without a second thought out of respect for my relationship and husband?”

    Or a shorter version:

    “When am I going to come first for once?”

    You've had a whole therapist who im sure knows a lot more about you than you've told us here say the exact same thing as the majority of these comments from people who only got a couple paragraphs of your life.

    Now it's time to make a choice.

  22. Yeah it's not healthy. And yeah to me it's unexpected to keep the list. But being weird or doing something unexpected doesn't make you guilty of anything

  23. Don’t tolerate it there is no excuse for this behavior we are all in control of ourselves if you say no that means no period end of story

  24. I'm just glad the guy wasn't more than 2 years older than the wife or every top comment would be about how he's a predator.

    /ra is wild

  25. NTA you will be an awesome coparent. And the dad … big props to him for putting his son first. You both being honest with each other is to be admired. Just tell her it’s not fair to the boy to lose his last name. Especially with him having an active father. You’d rather put him first than him later in life resent you both.

  26. I would like to see how you would react if someone you thought was a cis woman take your hand and put down her pants so you could feel her dicl.

  27. It really doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you realize that nothing’s going to happen with him and you need to let go.

  28. “one of the guys in our group got out of a bad long-term relationship about the same time my fiancee told me about her emotional issues. Since then, she's spent a lot of time at his place alone with him (sometimes 6+ hour stints), even spending the night there recently.”

    Did she already told you to not worry about him? That is what my ex said and now she married the guy. She is out of the relationship for a while now, you just have to accept it.

  29. Throw her shit out the door and tell her to come pick it up.

    Don't hold on to it until she feels like picking it up.

    I know it hurts, but as the saying goes, 'you are who you hang with', and in this case, it's dogshit human beings. Yes, she and her BFF are dogshit human beings.


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