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Evelyne, 30 y.o.
Location: Europe
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I don't think 'stress' is necessarily code for anything but stress in our situation. We do not live! together, we on-line an hour away and I drive to her constantly. She is evidently very stressed and depressed from her loss. Her new family dynamic and exactly how much responsibility it requires of her has been talking a toll on her. I hate that my frustration and resent has come up at such a difficult time for her, but I have been trying to address this problem between us for so long with no real progress. We've talked about it at nauseam and see constantly sees it from a viewpoint of disgust. She says I am only here for sex! She tells me how “psychotic” it is that I want sex at a time like this. I have tried and tried to explain that this isn't about sex as much as it is about being physically and intimately connected. She is set in her ways and does not see my perspective.
I want to help her through her loss. I also feel grief for the loss of her father. I go out of my way to help her and her family with anything and everything. It is hurtful when she says “all you want is sex” because it discounts everything I do for her on a daily basis. Regardless of what the latest challenge is in the relationship, we all have needs that need to be met for the relationship to function properly. She does not feel supported, considered, nor heard. I want to help and I am a good man, I treat her right, but lately my resentment for this intimacy issue has gotten the best of me.
I do not want to leave her, especially while she is enduring such pain and stress in the aftermath of her loss, I am just not sure what to do. It has been so long since I first brought this to her attention.
Reading your lost and comments…you are in for some baaaaad times, man. Get a cheaper, used car. Suck it up, build your own credit. Do you notice how zero people have advised that your fiancé co-sign for you here, but you keep telling us why we are wrong? Why do you think that is?
Its a fake post dude
His issue is that he wants to be the center of your attention. He wants you to show him, without any ring on your finger, that you value him above all other concerns. He wants you to behave as though you've made that lifelong commitment to him, even though he hasn't even proposed. His mask is slipping, his maturity level is low. You are 25 years old and wasting your limited time with this guy who won't commit.
You don't on-line together, you're only dating, is he going to crap or get off the pot? And standing you up because you were 8 minutes late to give him a ride? YIKES. He didn't want to drive and he made you drive over? YIKES. If you stick around, and keep wasting your 20s with this guy, you're going to be making one of those TikTok videos about how you're in your 30s and you missed out, wasting your time on guys who won't commit.
Yes, I know, Reddit often says to break up, but you wouldn't be posting if there weren't issues.