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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2003-02-01
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorHazel
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
Looking at your other posts, I’m gonna be honest, it seems like you are leaving a lot about why your partner may feel this way out of this post…
You both each have your own kid(s) from prior relationships. It sounds like your kids are doing well but his is struggling and he also has a hot relationship with his ex. This is probably adding to his fears about having another child of his own.
You lost your prior job, which based off other posts I am thinking was some form of Door Dash/ Instacart situation.. not necessarily a “real” job where they provide benefits or stable income as is, since you have to put in the work to make the money. I also do not believe you were fired at random and there is more than likely more to the story on that, since you claim you had “all five stars on over 4k orders”. A company where you are helping keep their customer base and completing that much work isn’t just going to up and fire you, which could be adding to him thinking you are unstable to parent another kid.
On top of that, you claim on this post and others you don’t want to work because you don’t want to be that pregnant girl who gets a job, but if majority of your job history is 1099 self-contracted, this doesn’t make much sense… but when someone called it out you miraculously already found a job and accepted because you are “highly employable”.
You mentioned on one post to not smoke, drink or do drugs, but in the same post mentioned how you attend 12 step meetings for “free therapy”. Depending which program you are attending, majority of them are for former addicts of some kind. I’m confused why you’d be attending these if you didn’t have some form of prior history with addiction, unless you really are just using the system for your selfish needs and not actually someone who should be attending those types of meetings.
Which brings me to my next point, 99% of your posts are very very self involved with a lot of “I want” “I feel” “I need” posts. Your partner probably sees this in you. You have stated to only have been together for 1 year, that’s normally not a ton of time for someone to want to procreate with another human. But that is plenty of time to start seeing red flags. I saw someone else say your parents help raise your other kids, not sure if this was on a post/comment that I missed, but if this is true this also feeds into the you shouldn’t have another baby you can’t support on your own narrative.
You’ve also outlined a ton of mental health issues, which aren’t necessarily a reason to not have a baby (I have my own and wouldn’t see this is a huge reason to not reproduce). But your partner might see this worse than you do and could be factoring this in as well.
By the prior explanation you gave and your current mentality of “just adjust to it”, I wouldn’t be surprised if you intentionally sabotaged your birth control to get pregnant on purpose. You probably thought he would just go with it and now you can’t fathom why he would be upset and not want a baby right now.
There is a ton going into your current situation, you are leaving out to make your partner seem like this unfair person. If you wanted to make another self involved post for people to unjustly side with you and make you feel validated because he isn’t, just say that lol.
Yup, it’s probably a waste of time but I linked them to the essay. Classic abusive parent who won’t ever acknowledge they were wrong
Filing in small claims court on your own, without legal representation, has almost zero chance.
The odds this guy can prove, legally, including providing relevant case law to support his contentions, in a courtroom are zero.
If he wins a partial judgment, somehow, he’s only won 10% of the Barrie because he needs a lawyer to handle the rest of the process of seizing records, determine what assets can be taken (of which the partner will have none, we already know this), then go through the protracted process of keeping up with the person’s location, jobs, and sending letters demanding payment.
All to a person who almost without question will never make enough to cover the legal costs at the rate of garnishment.
No lawyer is going to do that work on a retainer or contingency, they will be charging $200+ an hour.
Make that make sense, financially.
Who cares about the possibility of it being a one time thing? That’s not your gamble to take, or the Op’s gamble to take. It’s the pregnant woman’s, because it’s her baby and her health at stake here. She deserves informed consent and comprehensive healthcare just like anybody else.
It’s pretty amusing that you’re out here trying to tell people to “grow up” while thinking that this is probably a one time deal or that complications are rare, though. Haven’t had that much experience with childbirth or infant mortality, have you?
He sounds exhausting and that he’s incapable of keeping his own boundaries. Stop sleeping with him. Maybe tone down your availability. You’re his pocket girlfriend right now and you two need to rework the terms of your friendship, then actually adhere to them. Otherwise, this dance is going to go on ad nauseam.
I didn't assume anything. I never said ANYTHING about how OP's girlfriend feels about their children.
I said that OP's girlfriend was putting the kids at risk by allowing OP's mother access to them. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior that is relevant. OP's mother has not addressed her issues, as evidenced by the fact that she does not respect his wishes to distanced himself and his children's from her.
The situation OP's girlfriend created where OP was forced to interact with his abusive mother is also unhealthy for the children. Those are not assumptions. Those are statements based on science and research- child psychology, developmental psychology, clinical psychology.
But don't misrepresent what I said to “prove” your nonexistent point. What you did, it's a logical fallacy.
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It’s not just about getting pregnant it’s about your health too. You can catch STDs. I recommend get tested
Ew. No. Women aren't sex objects, she doesn't need to step anything up. Gross. She's a human being, not a sex doll. She doesn't have to do anything if she isn't comfortable with it. Get out of here with that crap.
Unless you're crying to an excessive amount like every week, then if she's turned off by you crying then you find someone else. Best not to be with someone who doesn't let you be vulnerable in your times of need.
Almost everyone in my family on both sides have curls and I came out with mostly straight (semi wavy if I put a lot of product in) hair
I Hope so.
So she'd be first if you got married? She'd be first if you were the mother of his kids?
Ridiculous.
You certainly are to prioritize your spouse in a marriage.
To be fair to him, I think he may be in the right with you guys only dating for 4 months……
But the way he said it… That doesn't sit right with me.
What can I say to this women next time that will get the message across
And
She’s an extreme narcissistic and does not believe she is ever in the wrong with her actions
Nothing. She is doing it to get a reaction out of you. Just refuse to engage at all, turn away and ignore her. Watch her reaction – she will be so upset she'll double down or she'll come up with some other outrageous thing to say.
You move forward by moving out.
You did everything right but we just cant predict a bait n switch. All we can do is say goodbye
Red flag. I’ve had a guy once who apparently filmed me during sex, and had to jump way too many hurdles to get him to remove them. I’m still not sure if he eventually did.
You’re allowed to have boundaries. You’re allowed to not want to do something. If he still does, it’s him choosing his own pleasure over yours, and that’s never okay. A “no” should always be respected.
He didn’t sign the birth certificate. He has no relationship and he told you to get an abortion. Lawyer up he has no leg to stand on.
Okay then I’ll just respond to the video I guess with a joke and hopefully the convo will go from there.
It’s weird since we established we were bf/gf but since we are so new it’s like I could see it just going under the rug and fizzling out