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Get it tested at a lab, and make him pay for it in the divorce. Not sure which is more disgusting – the thong or his reaction.
This is abuse. You should leave. Your relationship is toxic. There is no excuse to behave like this to one another.
You were rejected. Do you know why he didn't allow you to come?
And then I saw my screenshots:)))
Either couples therapy or a divorce.
A man who won't claim you is a man who isn't worth your time.
There are a lot of studies out there on who gets the clicks on dating sites, and it does show that average men do better than average women. There is lots of variance though. At the 'uber good looking' end men have it harder.
I'm a trans man with autism and ADHD, and because everybody, including me, thought I was neurotypical and female I have mad social skills compared to most men with those conditions, especially those who were diagnosed early. Which seems counter intuitive. Early treatment should be teaching these skills better.
Does she interact with his immediate family also? You cannot control how he interacts with his cousin. Your attempt to do so will only backfire and make you look extremely controlling and insecure.
Do you know what it usually means to “accommodate” when breaking up with someone who lives with you? YOU offer to move, not them. Since you prob can't, you should AT LEAST pay for a motel, a cheap shared room etc whatever available, for the first time.
She couldn't afford this place. I pay 100% of the rent.
I would gladly pay for a motel but I'm anticipating she'll want to stay here before going back to her parent's.
Neither of us was caretaker for each other. At my worst, I had a limp. We co exist as a couple.
As a caretaker myself (sibling), I want to say that love is unconditional and you made a promise to the woman you love.
The other part of me wants to really say: you get one life. One. It should be the life you want and unfortunately sometimes we need to make hard decisions in response to things out of our control.
I stood on my points of view, and I was the one who made all the decisions, If I didn’t like something I would tell her it at the same exact moment. I was the one who planned everything
And there’s the issue. People need to feel supported and helped and know what is expected of them (sounds like you excel in that as indicated above) but they also need to be apart of establishing what help they actually want, and to also feel helpFUL. Its not clear if she’s comfortable in admitting her vulnerabilities to you or if you’re good at listening to her vulnerabilities when she does to ensure your help is actually what she needs. It’s also not clear that you offer her ways to be helpful via you showing your vulnerability and her listening and responding to your needs. It’s through both people being vulnerable and both people validating and helping with those vulnerabilities that feelings grow and sustain themselves. With out that, you can try all you want, and with the best intentions but romantic feelings don’t last when there’s no vulnerability.
But that stuff is available in any decent shop, it's not like he had to fly to Norway to buy it.
It sounds to me like she was drugged and assaulted. She's likely having trouble remembering everything that happened and is trying to process the nightmare of what she does remember. And instead of being a supportive partner you dumped her? Yikes. You are a terrible person and I know it doesn't feel like it to her right now, but she's so so much better off without you.
There is high-conflict personality and there’s abuse. Your wife sounds like she fits the latter.
Hire security. Tell BIL he is welcome to dress like an adult, or bugger off.
It’s almost as if men know something you don’t
Look into your local laws on pet ownership. Where I'm from pets are still considered property so there isn't really a custody agreement for them (despite pets basically being like family to people).
In general best case scenario is to sit down and talk about how property including the house and pet would be split up in case of a break up.
Worst case is you'll need a lawyer to help break things out since the house is jointly in your names and the dog was a joint effort as well.
If the pet is considered property in your area then you may be able to sway things to your side if you have any itemized proof that you paid more towards its cost or something.
Honestly though your best bet is to try and have an amicable chat with your soon to be ex…
Good luck
Thank you. I've decided to go through with the divorce. I'll never be able to trust him again.
Excuse me?
How is that?
That's not early at all! When I did my artificial insemination I knew I was pregnant a little less than 2 weeks later. That being said, I highly doubt this girl was ever pregnant.
Timeline needs one more entry. Moved out and broke up in March.
The way I see things is that neither of you are wrong in a way. It is cruel to keep a cone on the cat when it isn’t medically necessary to the point that the cat can’t express natural behaviours like grooming. Equally your gf is right in a sense that the cat does have a behaviour issue of sorts.
Look I’m no expert but I’d hazard a guess that your cat has developed some form of anxiety and OCD in regards to grooming. The over grooming when the cone is off shows that the cat has become habituated to it being on that once the cone is off, it goes into grooming overdrive.
Your cat needs to see a behaviourist that specialises in things like anxiety and OCD behaviours. Equally, your gf needs to acknowledge that her allergies are an issue and she needs to take more of a responsibility in getting it better managed. She needs to speak to her doctor about possible antihistamines or allergy treatments that might be suitable for her. She KNOWINGLY took on a cat despite having an allergy to them. She needs to take more responsibility here in either accepting she cannot own cats because of her medical condition or she needs to get it under control. Expecting a cat to wear a medical device unnecessarily for her convenience is wrong.
Please speak to a board certified behaviourist and get your gf to take some personal responsibility. Failing that you might need to rehome the gf!
Think with your brain, not your heart. Find a GOOD therapist.
My first question to you would be what does your gut tell you? Do you feel safe when he's throwing things and shouting and calling you names? Do you feel bad when he does these things? How does his behavior make you feel.
Secondly, let's say for a minute that it is cultural… does that make it okay? My response would be no. If he expects you or anyone to accommodate his “culture” but does nothing to try to adapt to his new environment and culture then it's not culture.
My husband and I come from 2 different cultural backgrounds but we have built a life around our own set of guidelines of what is ok and not ok.
Its not ok for your bf to say horrible things to you or name call. If its “acceptable” in his culture is irrelevant if it hurts you or makes you uncomfortable.
If you’re married then why not wear the ring? Unless you have some sort of allergic reaction which you didn’t mention. Otherwise you’re just giving crimson flags over here.
Just break up with her. Say you can’t offer her the relationship she deserves, don’t give her hope, just cut it off. If you do anything else you’ll hurt her even more. Don’t be a coward about this, and get away from her. Then, if you truly feel bad for doing this, I hope you’re signing yourself into therapy the second the relationship is over.
He ended things a few hours after I posted this.
Your girlfriend is seriously messed up.
You got to wait and not try to contact her. Keep dating other people and maybe she will hit you up when she's ready
That’s sexual assault. File a report with the cops and tell your GF what happened. The other woman should be the one getting kicked out. I’m sorry this happened to you…how awful.
Are you comfortable talking about the context of their conversations? And did you guys discuss what constituted cheating? Did he know you considered talking to an ex cheating?
Personally my initial perception was a huge red flag for cheating on his pregnant wife. Physical or emotional.
My advice depends on the above questions because it’s how I would want to respond to those situations.
If he knew you considered talking to an ex cheating and/or the context is sexual, make him figure out how to go to therapy. Because regardless of whether or not you made it explicit, the presumption is that sexual conversations with someone other than your SO is cheating unless the SO says otherwise. I personally would’ve just broken up with him over that because it’s a clear showing of disrespect regardless of his own mental health. Your mental health isn’t an excuse to treat others in a shitty manner, it’s an explanation and doesn’t deserve deference by the victim. However, you were gracious enough to give him another chance, don’t compromise that boundary because it’ll indicate to him that you’ll acquiesce and your boundaries don’t need to be respected.
If he knew you considered talking to an ex cheating but the conversations weren’t sexual, there’s more room for leniency because he may have assumed there’s no harm in casual conversation with a person. In that case, he overstepped a boundary but it’s a little more explainable by his mental health issues. Here I would say
If he didn’t know you considered talking to an ex cheating and the conversations weren’t sexual
Look into the legality of this were you live and what actions you can take.
Also – why are you calling him “boyfriend” and not “EX”?!
BREAK UP WITH HIM. Delete his contact and block him. Take legal action.
Most companies may be small businesses yes, but the majority of jobs belong to the companies that do things like I'm describing.
And I say this as somebody who works for a very large company also.
This is actually pretty spot on. I definitely fear what will happen to her and that’s probably my biggest hold up?
So you’ve done some groveling but have you done any listening?
Instead of dominating the conversation when you talk about it, ask her how she feels and validate how she feels.
Is he willing to see a doctor about this?
It is hard to tell if he is just crude or if he legitimately has a gastro issue that causes extra gas, pain, bloat etc.
She’s doing you a huge favor. Accept it.
Absolutely no one in my life would be permitted to speak to or about my husband like that and still be part of my life. I don’t insist that everyone love him or even like him but they will absolutely be required to respect him and treat him with common courtesy.
If your girlfriend finds it acceptable for her “best friend” to behave that way to you, she’s a crap partner. Let her continue to let her “friend” run her life for her.
If they’re loved ones, they will sympathize and support you, not judge you. Lean on them for comfort. It’s part of the job.
You must have skipped the part where you called someone to come get you and you broke up with this guy. You're actually not supposed to “handle the situation better”. You're supposed to remove yourself from it and not associate with people who think racist jokes are funny. That you're even still with this guy is beyond puzzling.