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She did it several times.
If I understood you correctly, she's only coming clean bc the guy was going to out her.
No. I wouldn't marry her or stay with her.
The reason a 43-year-old man is seeking a relationship with a 24-year-old barely older than his kid is because women his own age won’t put up with whatever bullshit he’s about to dump on you if you stick around long enough.
Please don’t waste your 20s on this guy and his baggage.
She wasn’t seeking out their sex tape. I’m fine with seeing pictures of my partner with his exes from prom and stuff because I know he had relationships before me and I think it’s cute to see him when he was younger. However that doesn’t mean I’d be happy finding porn they made together. It’s not like she went through all of the stuff, but seeing it would still be jarring. I’m not naive to think my partner never had sex before me and I’m fine with that. I just wouldn’t want to see it. And even if OP says he never uses the app as someone with BPD the intrusive thoughts about him still looking at them would be unbearable at first. She needs some space to deal with what she found.
She wasn’t seeking out their sex tape. I’m fine with seeing pictures of my partner with his exes from prom and stuff because I know he had relationships before me and I think it’s cute to see him when he was younger. However that doesn’t mean I’d be happy finding porn they made together. It’s not like she went through all of the stuff, but seeing it would still be jarring. I’m not naive to think my partner never had sex before me and I’m fine with that. I just wouldn’t want to see it. And even if OP says he never uses the app as someone with BPD the intrusive thoughts about him still looking at them would be unbearable at first. She needs some space to deal with what she found.
It shouldn't
Once the grow up, yes, but she can’t do anything with them as a mom while they are growing up. No family traditions
Sounds like weaponized incompetence to me
Okay so here’s the deal, she is for sure selling her body for drugs, specifically crack cocaine. I really do feel like you should stay with her just because you can fix her, she is not cheating on you she is just trying to figure her life out. Do not leave her, take her to rehab and use this experience as a bonding experience. I can tell you love her. I really think she was buying the condom and lubes for a friend, why else would she need them if she is loyal?
It's called weaponized incompetence, you need to have a talk with him about how unappreciated and disrespected you feel. He's a big boy now, it's time for him to start doing basic adult stuff like taking out the trash, and cleaning the tub after use. Rocket science it aint
Are you sure you weren't drugged or someone slipped something in your drink? Blacking out for five hours is extreme.
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You don't tell your girlfriend about nice things you do for other people, because “she's not that sort of girl”
And that’s truly fantastic. I’m also not saying that it’s a horrible thing if they both went into it wanting the same thing, and saying, “let’s figure it out as we go.” It’s only bad if one person deceives another for the some purpose of getting what they want.
Can relate, you can not build a relationship over distrust, so not being involved with her seems right. Dont even bother with a break up, just block her off and make her get the message by herself, you should have better things to spend your time on.
Alright, well this is a huge mess. You need to decide if these complications are worth it for you to fight.
Consider how you're feeling right now from their actions, and now imagine your BF living in that his whole life.
Both are you are being abused here. It's a shame that he doesn't stand up for you, but how can he stand up for you when he can barely stand up for himself. This has been his life. He just sits there and takes it from his family.
I feel that if you two want a reletionship that is peaceful, his family needs to be removed from the equation. Its beyond a toxic environment, I couldn't imagine being in a reletionship where my partners family creates such grief. Although, I could sympathies as he too is a victim to their abuses.
In addition to the No glove, no love, the second principle of it it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.
This comment is really all there is to say. Kudos to your completeness.
r/iamverybadass
Fuck him! What a piece of shit! Lawyer up, divorce and take your daughter with you. Do what the lawyer tells you. If you stay married then cut him off from all the benefits he has been taking from you. Spend time with your daughter, stand your ground about his family invading your life and start dating. My pint is to life it up.
Unfortunately, you seem to have made your mind up about this situation. It will not magically get better or easier. This man is using you and using depression as an excuse to use you. I was in a similar situation with a man I was with for 10 years and I saw the signs, the red flags, everywhere. I was too scared to be alone so I ignored them. The few times I got the courage to leave he would suck me back in with threats of suicide. Eventually he died of an opioid overdose and, I hate to say it, but that was my way out. I hate it that I didn't leave earlier but I've learned and am a better person now.
“Clint, you know I never liked you. You’re a skunk and an alcoholic. But I’ll be damn if you don’t look just like the joker.”
I've come far with this these sus situations, I get wrong sometimes but she's too aggressive and loud when it's not her fault. Even in my down to earth voice I can't communicate with her if it comes to problems
For the record, if Mark leaves you over this, that's HIM breaking his vows, not you. Unless “I will not keep friends you morally object to” was one of your wedding vows.
Ding Ding Ding
Ew he just wants to hook up but doesn't want you in his place. Stop talking to him.
Ok, my sick mind read your words in a VERY different way XD
You NEED to get therapy. After abuse, it’s important to get therapy to learn ways to build yourself up. You likely don’t realize how much your self esteem was also damaged. And the double betrayal makes it even more important to get therapy. Just focus on fixing YOU for now. Adding in friends and new partners should only come after you are healed and in a better place. Take your time, they’ve done a lot of hurt to you. See if your school offers therapy as part of your tuition, or contact your local DV center. When I was abused, free therapy was available for myself and my son for 1 year, in a 1:1 setting and they had groups as well.
How much drinking was involved?
He takes his keys and wallet out right? It should be a habit to empty his pockets. I'm s truck I have pens and a knife in my pocket everyday. I empty them out when I get home
I might be biased here, but the only guy that ever slipped into the “wrong hole” was a one night stand who then proceeded to do it over and over again until I gave up saying no… And as a bisexual person, not once have I even come close to accidentally putting a strap on up a woman's ass.
Once could well be an unlikely accident, but I'd be very wary of continuing a relationship with someone who did it more than once.