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I had to talk to a friend about flicking lighters too close to my face once. I had another “friend” now exfriend show up to a party I was hosting because he couldn't wait to fire his rifle out over the lake we were staying on. Both instances, I wanted to give these friends the benefit of the doubt and told them what they were doing was dangerous, inappropriate, and they need to stop/take their rifle home or there will be no further contact. Lighter friend listened, realized I was scared of my hair catching fire, and apologized saying he never thought about how lighters could be scarier so close if you have longer hair, and has never done so ever again near me. Rifle guy is now an ex friend because he insisted on shooting his gun anyways a few minutes after I saw the gun and told him no. When another guy confronted him about this, he started swinging the “unloaded” gun around, and thankfully, left when I threatened to call police, but I remember realizing that day that ex friend had showed many signs of being capable of doing that before, I just had been too soft hearted and wanted to ensure he wasn't too isolated socially to accept those signs, and I still carry some guilt knowing anyone could have been hurt at that party, it would have only taken him getting a bit angrier to do something drastic, etc. Some people have dark violent urges, but you cannot fix this man. You are not safe and as others have said, he is clearly enjoying your fear, or he would stop. Leave. I rarely say this let alone never tell people that will nilly. If this is how you say, this is not your party, this is not something you can fix without being dragged down too, and it's incredibly dangerous to wait for if/until he is too irrational to not cause you physical harm the next time.
Does he answer the calls? If he's not answering, that's a good sign. If he is answering, he is the problem not her.
You wouldn't be dealing with this if you dumped him, and it's not too late.
No, it doesn’t change anything. She was still consenting as far as his story goes. I really suggest you get into therapy as it will be good to dissect these issues and work through what might be causing such an inability to trust your partner and understand the concept of consent
Hearing how many men get off to their partner crying and being is distress is sickening. Kind of explains why my abuser would stop raping me as much when I stopped crying as a child
Husband gets to choose to not have her over. If she is choosing to blow up her life he doesn't have to be dragged through that.
Either sister gets her act together or she continues taking an axe to it and threatening suicide all the time, quickly becomes a method of controlling for certain people.
Having dealt with it in a friend who roomed for 18 months. The answer is just NO to their actions and your husband has every right to say it.
Pick a person and be done with it. Either you blow up your own life for your sister who won't even recognise, appreciate or get her life together. Or you choose your husband respect that he doesn't want that nightmare in his home and help her outside the home.
She won't learn until she hits rock bottom and even then she will probably plow right through to the other side. You can care all you want and he can rightly go I have had enough. She doesn't take her meds, doesn't attend therapy and such goes on random benders and blows up her life. That is all on her.
We don't know that? OP has been very evasive when asked for more info about her husband. All we know is that her sister has been non-compliant with regard to treatment and that she's had several benders.
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My girlfriend (20f) of 4 years fantasizes about pegging me (22m) and using fake cum, something that I don't want to do at all and probably will never go that far because I am not interested in doing that as even if it doesn't include a man, it still feels pretty gay and I'm not into that gay shit.
She says that she does everything for me but I don't want to do this for her. What can I do in this situation my friends. Dump account of course.
TLDR: Girlfriend wants to do butt stuff/fake cum and I don't, at all.
Edit: I already told her I would try like very light butt stuff just not full on pegging and using fake cum that wouldn't make me comfortable.
Reasons I am single? I only found ppl who would treat me “pretty well”.
Girl, you deserve to be treated better than “pretty well”. It is okay to have standards, and this dude does not sound like he measures up!!
Yeah agreed. Sounds like she either lives in a dorm or in a shared space where her bedroom is her only real estate. It’s not like they went back to cuddle or something. Not sure what OP’s problem is.
So you were not the “Don Quixote” in your relationship, but more like the “Don Juan” ? gallivanting to your next contestants….so your beloved went on Erasmus for a few months and found her “Don Juan” moment exploring the Overseas market, while your were at the Homefront holding down the Fort….fast forward some weeks or months…. you both go back and forth about the relationship, saving the relationship, using tinder for her for cheating purposes, open relationships etc….yet she cheats on you multiple times at different locations….from the toilet twice ? to whatever GPS location she's doing the ACT….now you state she has on a >”Five Year Misson to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no one has gone before!”….finding herself
Yet you cheated behind her back for years as quoted
I was cheating behind her back to cope with sexual frustration. Every time I felt bad but I did it for years.
You both cheated and lied to each other. You have done it for a while….she did it recently….You're both doing the “Don Juan” shuffle relationship dance to each other trying to achieve the “Don Quixote” magic ? that is gone…..you both are smokescreening each other…..as a famous Star Trek quote best summons up your relationship…
“It's dead, Jim
It's time to put your relationship out of its misery…..IT'S DEAD,
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I suggest you go by his house and talk to his wife/girlfriend when he is not home soon. That will clear everything.
Both, definitely, And when they go to sleep at night, there are two nazis in that bed.
Sticking forks into your wife's eyes would be a less painful option then what you did
He messaged from his official (verified/blue check mark) Instagram accound, sent voice messages and facetimed me, so I at least know he´s not a catfish. But I agree with you entirely on the power dynamics being skewed and the red flags as well.
he's not your boyfriend
Really good advice, thank you. Definitely time for me to stop trying so hard.
I think this is just an incompatibility; you're not an asshole for wanting a partner who has forward motion? I'm much more attracted to my partner when he's taking concrete steps to better his life, and so is he to me. I would certainly worry about a 30-year-old who hadn't worked in 2 years and who wasn't taking real steps to make some type of job a reality.
Your BF is an undercover predator too. Not only should this uncle not come to the wedding there shouldn’t be a wedding either. Get out of this relationship. He needs therapy from being a victim to a predator.
your eta isn’t any better.
Sharing phones is for people who don’t trust each other. Healthy relationships require trust. If you’re at the point where the solution is looking at each other’s phones just end it and find someone who you can build some real trust with.
He could be with a man. Or make plans then leave his phone at work. He could meet them leave his phone in the car and go in their car.
Maybe this is what guys do at male sleepovers ?
That’s actually hilarious. Sounds like he watched too much porn.
Did you try to ‘spell it out for her’ and specifically say that it’s hot for you to build a future with her if she won’t properly contribute or properly communicate with you about your concerns?
Yep i agree, discuss and plan it. If he still doesn't follow through OP will need to decide what's more important the relationship or flowers.
I'm stealing this.
You getting downvoted but you’re right. The drama this would ensue could be a shitstorm of epic proportions that you genuinely don’t want to deal with, especially if your ‘friend’ is so willing to give her rude opinion about something that doesn’t even concern her.
Just drop and ghost.
r/flr you must submit fully
Harsh but valid. Her career technically “started” before we met, she just never clarified that fact until recently since we were both very young at the time and she was scared I'd hate her for it. I acknowledge the fact that she is getting a lot of leeway regarding her past in this relationship.
This is important. Vasectomies are the much easier and less risky procedure, and quite frankly, most women spend their whole lives responsible for preventing pregnancy, you can see why it would be frustrating that after decades of dealing with pill side effects, you’re then expected to have the more dangerous procedure.
Not to say that OP should have a procedure he doesn’t want, but I can understand the wife’s frustration and why it would be her hill to die on.
OP, you’ve got 3 kids, even if things don’t work out with your wife, would you really want to have more kids with someone else down the line anyway?
So you’re emotionally cheating on your wife and she wants you to stop. It’s not that hard, you need to stop. You can have privacy but you shouldn’t have secrets that require lying.
I am pretty certain that is a recent video bro. The phone knows when the video was created
???
She sounds insecure and really likes you, have you tried talking with her about it?
I don’t think it’s cavalier if you use other effective contraceptives instead. Nor do I think young people are particularly more open to an unexpected pregnancy. I’m not sure why you feel that way
To each it's own
I just wish it hadn’t taken him so long!
If it works for everyone then it’s not really for anyone else to say what will work for you long term.
Have you discussed this with any of the women? You mention your needs being met by this situation but what about them ?
There probably isn't anything more damaging you could do to yourself at this point in life than to get sexually involved with your drug dealer/coworker. Dating people you work with is a great way to have to find a new job and even if recreational weed is legal where you are he's still operating outside the law (meaning he could end up dragging you down with him). Surely as a 22F you'd have your choice of other guys, ones you don't work with and ones who aren't flouting cannabis tax laws.
Especially if everyone is going to be staying at the hotel, hanging out afterwards, getting breakfast together, etc. This is a chance for employees to network and connect, not date night. OP will be fine by himself for a night.
What if he just has a dark sense of humor? I don't get it but I was thinking that could be a possibility as to why he would joke about it…