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1. You're clearly overwhelmed and you know what? That's fine. That's normal. You're in a state of shock.

   So first thing? Allow yourself that shock. You're a human being, not some sort of unfeeling alien, so be kind to yourself. Your partner betrayed you, so the person who now needs to have your back more than anyone else is yourself. And that includes self-care like allowing yourself a bit of time to let things sink in.

   The truth is that this isn't some magical thing that has just happened the moment you discovered it. Your wife is the same person – a cheater – she was last week or the week before that. All that changed is that you now know about it – and yes, that does change your world completely, but what I want to say is: You're not on a timer where you need to get over everything in the next two hours or everything implodes. Depending on how you function, you can play the long game.

   If you need some time to let things sink in because otherwise you can't function, then that's what it is. Sure, you probably can't act like everything is great, so see what you can do about that – you could fake an illness and explain acting differently like that. You could claim to take a “business trip” when you are, in fact, taking a few days off to go on a small vacation to clear your thoughts. You could confide in a friend and stay at their place for a few days; the friend could cover for you and say that they are in a tough spot and need you there. Whatever – basically, you need to do what you can to go back to functioning.

   Because you are not just a husband who got cheated on. You are also a father and you need to be able to function for your kids. This means that you need to go and see a lawyer and let them help you to get your ducks in a row to ensure that you get put into a position where you can be the best dad to your kids you can be.

   And yes, this will require strength and every part about this sucks. You don't deserve to be put into this position. Your kids don't deserve it, either. But your wife didn't care about that, so instead, you need to care about yourself and your kids. Which means to first get yourself back out of this abyss and then get yourself legal help (lawyer) as well as mental help (be it actual therapy or just a good support network of friends and family who will have your back). If you find yourself suffering from the things you are experiencing now long-term, you might also need medication. And all of that is fine – it is just important that you take care of yourself. Breathe. One step after the next. Everyone here is screaming “lawyer” and that is completely correct, but just expecting someone who just had his whole world shattered to simply get up and make that call is a bit of an illusion. You need to get the proof saved ASAP and you do need to see a lawyer in short order as well, before she catches on, but it is completely fine to collect yourself first and give yourself a bit. Nothing good will come out of you being a wreck and not functioning, but still attempting things which will just lead to issues later on (like not gathering the proof or not speaking with a lawyer before confronting your wife). So take a step back for a day or two or three until you can think again and are less emotionally overwhelmed.

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2. Remember if it's not on it's not in (in regards to condoms)

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3. And what a bs artist you are. “I was going to delete it, but…” You even lie to yourself.

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4. Yikes. Run girl.

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5. It wasn't always like this…..

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