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I'm sorry for what happened to you, but looks like you have a great family now 🙂
Why does she have your card at all
i know a few people are saying not to tell her but its probably better she does know then she can make an informed decision of whether to move forward with him or not.
Hes not ur bestie hun, this was really scummy of him and im sorry hes put u in this situation. He could have just not told you but he couldn't handle the feelings of guilt and let this all out maybe hoping you'd save him or deny it happened if word got out.
please tell her, she deserves to know and he deserves to learn that actions have consequences.
There is a subreddit specifically for deadbedrooms.
Your poor kids are going to suffer in a dumpsterfire 'family'. Oh boy how garbage it is to grow up with a father who didn't want you…
You're selfish.
Yes people can change. I as a latina was adopted in a fairly racist white family and they’re the kinda people that say the n word in public without shame or realising how wrong it is. When I grew up I started to see how fucked up it all was and turned my gears around to being as inclusive non racist as I can be. But still to this day I have to relearn stuff I deemed normal for so long. But ultimately what’s important is how you feel about it.
Didn't he give you STD 4 months ago too?
Look I can't tell you how to online your life obviously but personally for me I have a nude line of if you want me to do something explain why if you refuse and continue to push me about it then that's not a situation I want to put myself in. You have no idea why he wants you to not hang out with them. Its like signing a contract given to you by a loved one without reading it and then finding out that you gave over the rights to your house and all your money. I'd ask the other people involved.
I’m sorry OP but it’s so obvious you’re being abused. First it’s a pillow then it’s a fist. I don’t think he hates you I think he loves that he can use and abuse you and you let him get away with it. No one who respects you and loves you will treat you this way, it’s really as simple as that. Please get out now.
You have two choices here. Dig in and battle this out now, or let it go and play the “wait and see” card because he is just trying to do the best for his kids.
If it was me, I would let this play out. You're justified to be a bit weirded out and upset by it but honestly it's so nude to judge nuances of family dynamics especially as a non parent. The worst thing that could happen is something happens between them, and then you have your answer. But only time will tell you that, so let him make his mistakes if he's going to.
My two cents: I have a policy that I do not get serious with anyone once I learn I'm the first attempt after a major breakup. There's usually a lot of feelings and a learning curve men will go through and it's never worked out well for me.
When your dad grew up he learned that being gay was not acceptable. When you grew up you learned that gay is acceptable. The whole world of whether or not to accept homosexuality makes your dad incredibly nervous and uncomfortable. Of course he will lash out. He probably doesn’t mean to upset you but he doesn’t know what else to do with his emotions. I hope you can understand him.
You can give her she stays with you and never see's the man who almost lead to her life being over; or go see's him and the relationships ends. That is all you can do, and you should do.
You could also tell her if she goes, you are to go to. And the meet up is in a public place.
Do not be scared. Fact is your are. You don't want to loose her. BUT WTF you think will happen if she goes without you? Or goes period? It risks her going back to him and the BS life. Even IF he is clean, the risk of their past is to much to even chance for your own relationship to think “if I want to continue my relationship I should keep in mind that she will never be really able to say no to him if he asks.”
YES SHE CAN. You just have to give her a reason to. That reason is you. You be there if they meet, but attempt to tell her she goes you and she is done. She has to go NC with him after a single message sent that she will not meet him, doesn't want to see him, talk to him, ever get another message from him, and to leave her alone for good.
I'm 45. They'd think my wife and I were 14 with the shit we none about.
You’re an adult and he is not your parent.
Dump him. I’m serious.
I dated a guy exactly like that for (too)many years – High school sweethearts and even into college. Looking back now, I was so blind to just how controlling he was. I really didn’t see just how much his religious beliefs dictated how our relationship was going to be. But I still thought the sun rose and set over him. My mom even warned me that I was putting all my eggs into one basket with him. She saw it.
We were 130 miles apart going to different schools but he still was keeping tabs on my social life and coming down on me if I was going out on a Tuesday night and not getting ready for the next day. If he could hear music or people in the background, he gave me the 3rd degree. He was more serious about school and studying and I wanted to have a fun… it’s college, I wanted to go out and have fun for the first time and not have a curfew. I spent from age 14 to just a week shy of my 22nd birthday with him where he acted like a 3rd parent towards me. It just got to be very bad. I eventually found a new guy who liked to go out and social drink and smoke some weed. He is so much more fun than my ex. We’ve been married for 16 years now.
So if you’re not compatible and you want to be able to smoke some weed (which is really not all that bad btw) while he hangs a breakup threat over your head, then you should send him off so he can go online the life he wants. If he is going to be that strict towards you as you’re making adult decisions over your life, then I would start looking for an exit. Weed lasts in your system for a couple to a few hours then you come back down. Before you know it you’re back to normal. The main issues are you sometimes get dry eyes, cottonmouth, get random cravings for strangely thought out late night snacks, (like a Skippy Peanut butter and Cinnamon Oat Cheerios sandwich.) and lots of uncontrollable laughs at stupid funny TikTok videos.
:::whispers::: People like him are the ones that really need to smoke some weed so they can yank that stick out of their rear end.
Well sex is minimal, communication turns to an argument (not on my part, rather talk calmly then argue), I know my drinking played a part in things (12 years heavy drinker, recently sober), on and off again relationship, my toxic parents who tried a few things which I won't go into, my attitude and dumb life choices also doesn't help
Yeah you can’t really hold it against the fwb, but I’d be pissed at the friend!
Girlfriend of two weeks? Y’all got a lot of learning to do as far as each other and your boundaries
Just sit on him
ur wack as fuck bro
No worries haha
He just turned 20 so it’ll be another year before he turns 21, but I also JUST hit 23 on the 12th of this month so in the grand scheme of things the gap isn’t extreme. I know I’m overthinking it, but you do make a good point on the fact that we could absolutely have fun doing other things rather than drinking. It’s just a small detail but I’m a “think things through” kind of person before things progress so I can’t help the mostly unnecessary worry. Thank you for your comment though!! I appreciate the input.
Hey OP — why are you proposing to someone who won’t read a letter you wrote her? Why are you trying to spend your life with someone who you don’t know well enough to know the right way to propose to her?
Please don’t just think I’m criticizing you or your desire to be with this person. I’m not. I just want you to think about it. A proposal is about both of you. What you think is romantic, but also what she thinks is romantic. If you don’t know your partner well enough to know what they would actually pay attention to/think is a good proposal, then you might not know your partner well enough to marry.
You need to be able to communicate with your partner, which includes understanding how each other communicate — it’s a two way street, and our lives experiences and perspectives change how each person receives and views communication. If you can’t properly communicate your proposal, then maybe she is not the right partner, or this is not the right time yet. My husband and I were dating for 9 years before we got married, because we started dating at your ages. We had a lot of growth and learning to do to communicate better. We loved each other instantly, and we knew that first year that we would be married. But if we had gotten married then, we might not have made it, because we weren’t mature enough to always see the other person in the relationship. He might have proposed in a way I didn’t like or understand. I would have pushed that because I meant something a certain way, he can’t be mad that he perceived it another.
I’m so glad we waited, as lame as it was sometimes, because we don’t have fights. We have miscommunications that we laugh about later because it was the same old he thought I meant a when I meant b, or vice versa.
Think about it for the next couple days before Christmas. If you’re still sure that you are both ready for this (and I sure as hell hoped you’ve actually talked marriage — proposals should never be a surprise in that regard. Marriage should alwYs have been honestly discussed between the two partners prior to a proposal) then you should make the letter look super fancy and Christmas-y and make it her main gift. Don’t give her any other gifts until she’s read it, so she doesn’t get distracted.
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Don’t you dare speak to people who hurt a woman enough that as she lay dying the thing that was crystal clear in her mind is that she wanted to protect her child from them. Your curiosity doesn’t exceed the wish for safety, people don’t go no contact with safe people.
Just stop, you’re wildly outside the boundaries of decent behavior on this. Block them. Stay away from it. You’re going to open the door to a court case if they establish contact, you’re deliberately inviting chaos into your life
You know, want to
This is what stood out to me.
I fully believe my wife is out of my league. She is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met and I strive to online up to her. Even though we are equal partners in everything, I see her as a goddess among humans, and I’m grateful to be in her presence.
This dude sucks.
Divorce?
I dunno, it’s nude to come back from what he said, it’s really fucked up.
Therapy? Absofukinglutely
Forreal. My husband has learned the nude way, by getting accidentally elbowed or kicked or whatever happens as I flail around. I never do it intentionally, & then he gets mad that he got hurt lol he’s learned his lesson & we don’t play fight anymore.
It’s just never a good idea.
Apparently not..
When he told me it's time to go, I told him “I want to stay a bit longer but I know you have to take meds so you can go home. I'll Uber or something later.” And at the event, he wasn't having as much fun since he didn't know my friends and wasn't drinking. We did dance alot and spend alot of time together throughout the night.
No one is jealous of her life. All that simple work takes 2-4 hours a day. How can you possibly switch off your brain and do nothing the rest of your waking hours? Is she a robot? Humans cannot simply be on “stand-by” for extended periods of time while still being mentally healthy.
People regularly think that my wife is my daughter. It never bothers me or her. Your issues are with your own insecurities of caring what others think.
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Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️ It may sound weird but how I wish this happened with someone else. Not the person who I thought so highly. It sure hurts. Thank you again. All my love to you too. So sorry what you have gone through!
Please do not get back with her! Domestic violence is against men is gets minimized far too much. You deserve a partner who doesn’t resort violence, period. Regardless of whether alcohol was involved or not.
While he’s at it, he should probably ask his hookups for STD tests too to be sure he didn’t infect her.
I also always see women double-taking when they realize I'm his girlfriend.
You're projecting that. Unless you polled every one of them. People are less concerned with you than you'd imagine, I promise.
Yeah, you expressed this very well, that dick size equates to some extrinsic value system, like driving a Lamborghini or a Toyota Corolla. The Lambo looks cool, but it’s not built for comfort, whereas the Corolla isn’t anything special, but it’s the choice for a daily driver. Guess which one I most would choose in a side by side?
Jerry Springer
She’s trickle truthing him. Bruh…that’s your karma, so if you do bad it comes back. Let him know but activate ghost protocol on that viper.
I personally don't think you did anything wrong, she should have automatically introduced you to him. I also think that he didn't hear you because he didn't care. You apologized for it, don't apologize again, this IMO is on her. She seriously has a phone charger in her purse?
Already did. Just always felt like comments pair well with downvotes. Chefs kiss.
OP, I am so sorry you are being gaslit by your wife and the people in this sub, rather than focusing on that, seem hellbent on figuring out a way why this is actually your fault. Reprehensible.
What she is doing is textbook gaslighting – it doesn't matter that it's about chess, as you yourself are feeling, gaslighting about anything has the ability to make you feel crazy. It is not okay, it is not your fault, and you are correct to not let it slide.
“You will lose him the same way you got him.”
He’s willing to emotionally cheat on a partner of 10 years. Do you really want to spend the entirety of your relationship fearing he’s doing the same thing to everyone else? Even after a decade, even after marriage or kids, you will be worried about who and how he’s talking to people.
Plenty of men won’t cheat. Plenty of men leave their relationships before flirting with others. You can find an earnest, honest man that would never consider flirting with someone while in a relationship. If you go for this guy, assuming he actually leaves his relationship for you (big “if” there, cheaters rarely leave their relationship), you will spend the rest of this relationship worrying he is cheating on you. And unfortunately, he likely will be. He’s proven he will cheat, and all you’ll have is a sinking gut feeling that you knew all along.
May be he asked her to stay away from you
You’ve got to be able to have open and honest conversations with her about money
You are 22, any relationship which ends at this stage is no big deal. I am serious. You were SA'd and your bf who should have been someone you could trust decided his feelings were hurt… Your attachment to him is not healthy because he effed up.
See I was in a toxic relationship when I was SA'd and even my “bf” at the time recognised it was SA. Because it is not nude and does not cost a thing.
being in love is not something you have to do anything about. Sometimes feelings make no sense and thus you don't acknowledge them.
That's definitely not true. Most guys have a one and done for the day.
If he’s not seeking therapy to fix his problems and is just telling you then yes you are wasting your time
All good. You are not compatible perhaps and that is unfortunate. This is why I wont date until my son is much older. Or ever. Ever sounds better at this point.
Sorry this happened to you though! What a bitch!
What you do is break up. He clearly values his relationship with Kiara more than you. Whether they get sexual I'm sure depends on whether Kiara wants him, or just wants his orbiter attention to continue without sex.
Stop watching porn.
She's cheating big man. That's how my girl started.
So, let me get this straight. She blamed YOU…for her hooking up with some rando? Dude. No. Just…no. If your instincts are screaming at you—listen to them and walk away.
Not everyone is same…
Hey, he hasn’t made an effort.
He took all of your feelings and twisted them around to center himself. Every attempt you made to discuss how his behavior made you feel was turned around on you in an attempt to completely avoid any responsibility.
I think if you settle for this kind of mistreatment, it will only make things worse for you in the future. And I think you deserve to be loved and respected.
Nah, you’re just a fucking idiot.
She has feeling for him, and the little digs at you about having your SO lie was to let you know she is above you.
This contact needs to go. She has plans
Oh not at all, you just state that the ex made her sign an NDA so “i cant disclose what he did”, that should make the stories going around about him even worse then when he let her talk
I had a husband like this. Don’t do things for people that they can do themselves. That’s for children.
Seriously, your life will be easier without him.
It’s good to hear since he called his mom and said I did it and was to blame. Of course she took his side.
This is who he really is. Lucky you don't have to waste any more time on him.
are you sure hes 37 and not 17?
Does he brush and floss before bed? Does he drink a lot of water? Does he sleep with his mouth open?
Not everyone has bad breath when they wake up. These are some things that affect that.
An ex of mine did this to me. I promptly broke up with him.
Red flag right there. If he’s okay with guilt tripping you now he will later
Even if she hasn't changed her birth control method, our bodies change as we age. Her hormones may be out of whack now that she's a bit older.
Looks like that Bf of 10 years has become an ex of 5 seconds, leave his ass, this whole situation seems unstable
It's not a bad thing to comment that your partner is beautiful usually. But your fiancee is a tremendously horrible person. The fact that you are still with someone so terrible combined with your comments about her looks makes it sound like you don't give a shit about how fkn awful she is because she's nude.
He just told her to go ask me instead. But i dont like that she’s still able to message him and does so
You rebuild a better, more permanent group of support that is based only on you and not your partner – you have learned a lot while with him, and you need to take that knowledge and apply finding people that are better for you.
Right now though, you need to start saving. No more spending your money – I'm talking penny pinching here, OP.
Emotionally and mentally detach from your partner and his group to prepare yourself for the fallout from the break up. Still be nice and polite, but get used to the idea of these people not being in your life. After the break up, you need to block ANYONE that calls you ungrateful or anything negative. You don't need that in your life.
In regards to building friendships – there are a couple ways. They require some elbow grease, but people make new friends every day as an adult. Finding a hobby is always a good start.
Cut all contact, and if you have mutual friends, tell them why first. I’m positive he’s the type that will try to look like the victim and try to make you look like the crazy one.
RUUUNNN forest RUUUNNN..!!
You’re both 25/26 and have been in a relationship for 13 years on and off. That would mean you two were 12/13 when you started dating.
It’s rare for relationships that start at such a young age to continue through to adulthood as people grow and change.
Any frequency more than zero is unacceptable.
I actually do meet my accountant over coffee, my partner is usually there too, so…
good for you for not jumping to conclusions! but i would just recommend what most people have said, set up boundaries and try to find a compromise
Probably. But it's the only surefire way to get something done regarding the custody arrangement.
That’s certainly a valid and possible interpretation, but we don’t really know. You can’t possibly know what’s in people’s heads or how their relationship is going from a few paragraphs of text.
I mean, this was actually my point that went unsurprisingly over the heads of everyone who downvoted me: her past sexual exploits don’t really matter.
What matters is now, the strength of their online or lack thereof. If there’s not enough there, he should leave. Read my last paragraph again.
Even if we were “talking” and “exclusive” or whatever as long as we weren’t officially dating boyfriend and girlfriend yet? Just making sure.
Thank you for responding! 🙂
The problem with going to the same person to vent every single time you have an issue with your partner is that eventually that person will develop an incredibly negative view of your partner. Long after your fiance has gotten over Incident C, his mother is still thinking “that terrible woman did did Incident C, and I also remember her being responsible for Incidents A and B earlier.”
This happens because your fiance is with you every day, so he sees the issues and he also sees the resolutions and he also sees day after day after day of everything being fine. But his mother does NOT have that front row view of your relationship, and if the main things she hears about it are the fights and negatives then that will color her perception of you and affect your relationship with her. Hell, even if he vents to her about good AND bad things people will naturally focus more on the bad.
If this were a random friend he was venting to then ok, that friend may develop a bad image of you, but that's not the end of the world. You don't have to get along with ALL of his friends and they don't all have to get along with you. But when the person he vents to is his mother then that creates a pretty significant problem for you, because she's about to be your mother in law and apparently they're very close. She will be a factor in your relationship, and her opinion of you will matter.
I would recommend communicating all of that to your husband, because I doubt he's thought of the long term complication his venting is creating. He definitely needs a safe space to talk, but I would just remind him that 90% of what his mother knows about your relationship is what he tells her, and if he's only talking to her when things are bad she will get a very skewed view of his future wife. That's not good for either of you.
That's entirely your choice, you don't have to be in a relationship that you don't want to be in, be it a friendship or something more.
Personally, I think if you'd not wantto be with someone who finds cheating aborrent, that speaks to your own morals.
You'd be infantilizing him if you decided for him who is good enough for him to date.
Please dump him his response alone should be enough plus he is 34? He will never be ready. Like he is going to be a serial dater and as he gets older he will go younger because older women won’t put up with his shit. I know the type.
Do yourself a favor and get out now before you get too into things with him. Like Queen Bee said Should have put a ring on it. You don’t deserve to be treated like you are just comfortable you aren’t a pillow. Go find someone who will know you are the right woman and will treat you like the Queen you are.
So looking at OP history, 9 months ago they were a 25yo F. Kind feel like it’s a troll account
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Your reactions are normal and natural, and mostly appropriate (though you should not have gone through her phone).
But this doesn't sound workable, for either of you. She got caught once, and committed to moving forward, but she doesn't seem to have even tried to keep her end of the bargain. You committed to forgiveness, and it seems like you at least tried to uphold that commitment. But committing to forgive cheating -to extend trust even when you aren't feeling it- is emotionally brutal, and you weren't prepared to handle it when it hit you. And then your instincts happened to be correct, which only makes the situation worse.
If you really want to try couples counseling, go ahead. But I've got to be honest, I don't think your odds are good.
You’re right, i was confident but after being in a relationship i just kinda want to hear from him some compliments, i don’t wanna depend on him but still 🙁 I’ll try to talk to him about this directly, i hope he understands Thank you though ?
Plz consider the above, u/Throwaway_ohfuck; your brother is already a proven cheater & will likely lie to his soon to be ex.
Record everything in the car.
Here is your sign to count HPV from now on. It is permanent and can be life changing. I'd much rather find out that I've been given chlamydia and have to be on antibiotics than HPV.
Stop calliing him your bf.
Why would you want to be with a liar and cheater?
You stick up for yourself by demanding people respect you, and he doesnt.
You learn to respect yourself so others have no choice.
I actually did mention it in a conversation and told him I wasn’t comfortable hearing about her… he said he didn’t still like her and they barley talk but it’s like he forgot how insecure it makes me and just brought it up again as if she’s an old friend I was actually shocked he didn’t realize how it would make me feel
You sound pretty unhappy, tbh. IMO you need to tell your wife this and in a way that she will hear it, or else at this rate, another year down the line and you two are through. It seems that there are some main issues that it boils down to:
You feel like she doesn't support you in being successful in your job. And you need her support to do well in your career so that you will be able to continue to keep your family in the manner to which they have become accustomed. And you never know if there will be a downturn and you don't want to be at the bottom of the list/first to be laid off. You feel like you do more than she does, and that she doesn't appreciate how nude you work at your job, at taking care of the kids and at taking care of her. No one is taking care of you, including you, and you are starting to break down because you need care. Or at least you need to be SEEN and appreciated, you need some time to make friends and have a hobby.
It also sounds like you aren't on the same page financially, in terms of your future or how the money is spent now. That is actually a pretty big thing. I really think you need to be in some kind of couples counseling where you can bring up these things and be heard. Also, don't expect to find a good counselor right out the gate but make sure it's someone who hears your side of things.
If I may add something, I'm kind of guessing that part of the reason why your wife expects you to be available when you are at home is that you have a nude time setting boundaries with respect to work.
Or maybe you like the flexibility of being able to take breaks to spend time with your family during the day, and you want to just jump in and out of their day. But at the same time, when they want to do stuff on their schedule, you push back with “I'm working”. What I'm saying poorly is, try to see it from their point of view. Without clear boundaries, you set up this dynamic where you expect that they are just waiting around for you to be available, and you also feel like you are not available enough for them. And it's a bit annoying(? insulting?) to feel like you're … like a dog, waiting around to be played with.
Regardless of whether I'm guessing right, what you two need is better communication and boundaries.
You're desperately trying to make this a gender issue when it isn't. If I tell a person who's already flaky and seems disinterested that I want to chat more and they respond by cutting off contact entirely, I'm not going to message them again. She got the hint: you don't actually care. If she proceeded to message after it, now that would be clingy. It literally takes 5 seconds to send a message saying you'll be busy for a week and I say that as a fellow person who hates pointlessly texting.
How do people marry people like this. Barbarians stuck in the past. Treating their wives like property. Abusive.
Yes, leave him. Don't feel bad about it. You've wasted your life with him. You've taught your kids it's okay to be abused. Run.
This story seems awfully familiar. Is this for real or from ChatGPT?
This is completely unhinged on your part.
Break up with her for her own sake. You are exhibiting behavior that strongly indicates either serious mental illness or other unresolved issues that are effecting your ability to act like a rational adult.
I say this not as an insult, but from a place of serious concern.
I think she should have apologized. At 33yo she knows better she dropped the ball.
Now you know why she's single.
I think a ski trip over a long weekend is a big deal and a real treat (without the propsal).
I'm surprised you didn't tell her to stay home. She basically missed the trip.
Maybe she was legit busy, or a poor planner , or just lives in her own head.
You be the judge. At 33yo I would not cut her any slack.
I'm at a crossroads
No, you aren't. You are dating a jobless hustler who is trying to hustle you into letting him move in so he can use you.
my family has been very protective of me
Sounds like you don't have a good track record of recognizing when prospective partners aren't good for you, so you get into relationships with losers/users/abusers. You are hiding this relationship because you know it is a losing proposition to waste your time with this guy.
I would just say congratulations and good luck. Be honest with and kind to each other.
Finding meaningful relationships gets harder to do as you get older.
Sorry, but you are breaking up.
She doesn't want to be with you for an indetermined amount of time. She doesn't have time to meet anyone else, but she wants to make sure that you stay single for her until she decides that she wants to get back together.
You've only been dating this girl for 6 months. Do not let her string you along like that. Healthy couples do not “take breaks” when things get nude, they compromise and work through them together.
What did the official diagnosis do to benefit you? Was it medication?
Look, comparability is the hugest issue in relationships. You’ll end up hating her if you keep trying to hold this together.
You too, and good luck! It sounds like it could be a good adventure =)
What about your classes?
How would it impact the rehearsal dinner?
Oh, he has a busy schedule? It's almost like only his schedule matters.
What word you use to describe what he did is less important than how you feel about it. Clearly he broke trust, intended to have a physical relationship with another woman, actively lied to you about doing so, and did have intimate interactions with her which were clearly inappropriate.
If he doesn't take full responsibility for what he did AND the initiative to fix it by changing HIS own behavior (neither of which he's doing, as he's diverting attention from his actions by arguing technicalities of the definition of a word “cheating”), then… is that really someone you want to build a life with and can trust? What if next time he doesn't FEEL quite so guilty, and either goes through with things or doesn't tell you?
Either he finds a therapist for him +- both of you, or you give him the gift of singlehood
Unfortunately, it sounds like your boyfriend still has major issues with alcohol and is using it to self-medicate for other issues.
I think it's time to talk to him about maybe trying other methods to deal with his nighttime issues that don't involve alcohol. He could talk to his doctor and see what's available to him. I get night time anxiety and the jitters so I'll make a big pot of strong, relaxing tea (like Kava or Valerian).
I say this as someone who doesn't drink a drop because alcoholism runs deep and nude in both sides of my family. My grandparents were…a lot like your bf. Drank to help them sleep, and then would drink nude on the weekend to relax.
your boyfriend clearly has a very complicated relationship with alcohol, given his father's status….I would highly suggest getting him to go to a support group for people who have alcoholic family members. It might be what he needs to see that his own relationship with alcohol isn't good either.
Your boyfriend ignored your messages for two months? That is unacceptable and immature. You guys were essentially broken up if that’s the case, and not only does he not deserve an explanation because you didn’t cheat, but he doesn’t even deserve for you to stay with him.
You don’t coerce people into having children they don’t want. It’s not something you compromise on.
Also…I feel like so often on this sub, men are all “I want kids and she doesn’t” and it’s like they have this romanticized vision of being a dad—playing ball in the back yard, coaching t-ball, etc. What they aren’t thinking about is all the stuff women have to consider.
Like….the impacts of pregnancy and childbirth physically and emotionally—with some changes being permanent and optionally painful or even resulting in death. Or the loss of life long earning potential if they take maternity leave or stay home with kids. Or the fact that they are, in most cases, the primary parent booking all of the appointments, picking our clothes, doing all the daily care, etc. men just don’t think about this shit because many men have no intention of doing anything they don’t opt in to—they don’t stop all their hobbies or vacays with the boys.
She knows herself and she doesn’t want kids. Nothing has changed. Stop pushing her.
Actually I'm bisexual and have been in an open relationship before of course we'd have to set rules but I'm ok with the idea my worry is that because of our history where we dated other people really soon before we got into a relationship he might feel uncomfortable coming to me with those types of conversations
I would send a text asking him how is he doing, depending on his answer (or lack of), I would keep dating him or not.
Your wife is having very valid feelings, but a kid needs help right now and that should be the priority: get into couples counseling to learn how best to support each other. Couple’s therapy literally just teaches you how to get on the same page as your spouse during complicated times, and this is one of those times. Best of luck!
You’re making it into something it isn’t. He would be seeing his grandparents dude…
He texted that he does so much for me
Yeah, like insisting on a dinner date and making her drive when she's worked a 24-hour shift with no sleep. Sounds like luv to me!
OP: This relationship has run its course. Anyone who would ask you to do what I just typed above without realizing that you could die behind the wheel is utterly selfish and does not have proper respect for you. His hissy fit is more proof of that. Tell him that the relationship doesn't work for you anymore and you're done. Then move on to someone else OR take a break for a while and focus on yourself and self-care!
You can visit a massage parlor, and the person giving the massage jerks you off-or otherwise-as part of the transaction.
Possibly there could be something immoral around getting more from a charitable organization that has a really thin budget; especially if one took advantage of upper level people not really in the know about their budgets (not horribly uncommon in small enough organizations).
From financial service companies? Puh lease. Nothing at all immoral in this situation.
Read the book “the love prescription”. It’s all about the little everyday things.
Three things I’ve done since the beginning of the year that have made a big difference: 1. I’ve turned our peck goodnight and goodbye into a multi second kiss. A little awkward at first but wife now really likes it. 2. I bought a bucket of little rubber ducks and have been hiding them around the house for her to find. She loved it. 3. I’ve been doing my Saturday chores on Friday. Lifts a burden from her shoulders just thinking about it.
I said if she found someone with the same needs NBD. But her current boyfriend is not okay with 12 mini vacations a year. It does not work for him. If she wants to move forward in this, she has to compromise.
Your boyfriend is an insecure child. You might want to date someone with more maturity.
Depends entirely on your relationship with the ex. We can’t possibly advise without context.
Thank you for letting me and everyone else know that you are a troll ???
Well blind encouragement has its downfall. This is edging into that and you know as much. You need to sit down with your partner and explain in detail your concerns.
You can't force them to stop or anything and if it gets too intense you can always take yourself out of the situation as a whole, but until that point just talk to your partner. Explain that you're not trying to hurt them but you're worried about this path they're taking and how it is effecting their judgement.
I'm a SAHM. If you don't think we lose social status, you are out of your mind.
Are you sure you're not all 13? You all acted like a bunch of juveniles.
I feel like so many posts on here begin with someone saying “for some reason someone close to me has suddenly stopped speaking and I don’t know why” and then they ALWAYS post an update with “turns out they had some sort of sexual content about me”
The last one I read was the girlfriend of the user’s brother suddenly stopped speaking to her, brother wouldn’t say why, then she posted an update saying her brother had nudes of her (his sister) on his phone and his girlfriend found out. Also as a bonus the brother shared the nudes with her dad
Like…it was stretching belief for me somewhat ? and now this post is pretty much the exact same formula
A 5 year old would, probably, have better balance.
I've lost count of how many people I've slept with, but I can honestly say that there's always a little nervous energy the first time you hook up with someone. Being a virgin, that would make it that much more unnerving.
My suggestion is to keep doing what you've been doing until you're comfortable enough that those things are just not enough and you want more. Sounds like you have a good man who is more concerned about your comfort than him getting his, you're a lucky girl.
Sounds like she might be bipolar and having manic episodes.