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I do this too, this wasn't a slight bump or scratch! This would have made me cry if it happened to me. My son falls without getting hurt many times and we don't have this issue, it's the total lack of care after laughing and seeing he's really hurt. My son is not a drama queen, in fact many other parents have noticed how resilient he is. I haven't threatened to leave yet but I feel very lost and helpless over this issue… I feel like he's being emotionally hurtful
She not your girl, its just your turn
Of course not. Things get better. You have to resolve to prove everybody wrong. If it’s harder for you, work harder to overcome your obstacles. That’s something you can control.
“Trust me,bro” isn’t a source.
The key to having an honest conversation with an evasive person is to plan a very clear question and then watch (don’t listen to) their response.
Example: I feel like you have checked out of our relationship. Your invitation for me to move home makes sense if you have. I feel I deserve to have a partner who is as invested in our relationship as I am. I’m sorry this hasn’t worked out and don’t understand why you want me to leave, but I won’t make this into a drama.
At this point don’t listen to what he says. Watch closely what he does. If he wants you to stay he will SHOW you not tell you. If he says no, don’t go, but remains checked out. You have a clear answer. Move away.
If he says “it is for the best” the. Move away.
If he try’s to make it into an argument then he wants you to be he bad guy. You have your answer. Move away.
If he looks for ways to make you happy in your new town with him, you have your answer. He hopes you stay.
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Thank you for this. I’m sorry for what you have been through with your spouse. I am glad he is finally getting help in rehab. It’s just crazy how powerful alcohol can have a grasp on people’s lives and some only get help once at that point. My bf has already started to try and hide the drinking from me or down play how much he drinks. I definitely cannot see myself in 30 years dealing with this or to be put in a more difficult place, so thank you for your perspective and for sharing. Xx
Full transparency, I stopped reading halfway through because I got frustrated with him just from reading this.
You need to stop.
He’s getting used to you filling in the role of mom and maid, and it’s cushy, why would he change? He has the easy life right now. You need to stop taking care of the axolotl and tell him ‘your pet needs feeding/I haven’t cleaned your pet’s tank and I’m not going to, you need to’. Obviously please don’t let the poor thing die or suffer but this is HIS pet and he needs to start acting like it. Then, ONLY do your laundry, only do YOUR dishes, start doing HALF of everything else. If he’s not budging, start dumping his dirty shit on his half of the bed – if he wants to go to bed that night he’ll need to do something about the pile of dirty dishes there. If it gets to the point where he uses up all the dishes, get different coloured plates/cutlery etc that are only yours, which he’s not allowed to use. Tell him that on half the days in a week (be specific about which ones), you expect him to make dinner, and if he doesn’t then you’ll only be cooking your own meal.
Have a very frank conversation with him about how unacceptable his behaviour is. My darling if you don’t start drawing some very very hot lines about what you will and won’t accept, he’ll walk all over you for the rest of your relationship. If you have kids with this man, you’ll be burdened with 100% of the cleaning AND 100% of the childcare. And that will be a recipe for resentment, which will make you much less attracted to him, will probably halt your sex life and eventually lead to a relationship breakdown.
IF YOU DON’T SET THESE BOUNDARIES ASAP, you’re going to sleepwalk into a whole life of being a servant. He needs to stop acting like a 6 year old and start pulling his weight.
One of the first questions they'll ask after a hookup is “So how big is he teehee?”
The women who do this are the same ones who constantly tell guys that size doesn't matter. If it don't matter then why you so interested?
Yeah, of course. Also, I know you said you don’t want to meet up somewhere public but you really probably should since you don’t really know him. Trust your gut and be on your guard- a scary person can be disarmingly nice, and a nice person can be awkward so you never know: it’s a scary thought but it’s true. But the gut usually doesn’t lie. If you get a bad feeling, just go home.