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She danced with me a few times but that doesn’t mean she tried to get all my attention. She was so happy for me and helped me out a lot with my wedding.
I already shared my feelings with her and i told her i love you. she cried and said she had a miserable marraige of 8 years and i feel bad as you are such a nice person etc, i thanked her for sharing her feelings and told her she is not forced to like me or someone. its fine. but then i was giving her much space but her actions seemed like she is being distant and not interested as before. so i took a back off and she started to reach out out couple of times but i thought i would just reply her and let her talk to me once she has time. she reached out 2 times but more like hi, wish you a nice day and thats it and then its been 6 days and no message from her.
Why would you drag this out for $30, give her the money and block her on everything.
Surely a peaceful life is worth $30
he is seeing a doctor today to be referred to a therapist, so fingers crossed he can get in soon.
That’s funny because every actual human I’ve talked to IN PERSON has told me the opposite. People who know both me AND him, who know more context that’s difficult to explain in just one post and a bunch of comments.
Also, its difficult to accept advice that isn’t sincere. You dont give advice rudely, laced with criticism. That’s not how it works.
Your feelings as a person giving advice are not the focus here. You offer advice because you want a big WOW THANKS SO MUCH YEP I’M THE PROBLEM I GUESS I’LL JUST STICK TO MY THERAPY AND NEVER GET IN A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN OR MAYBE I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF AND MAKE IG EASIER FOR EVERYONE WOW THANKS FOR OPENING MY EYES.
I’m already blaming myself. I’m already hurting and upset. And no one seems to get that.
There’s absolutely no need to throw insults. There is no need to be harsh and critical. There is no need to dismiss and gaslight my feelings and experiences.
Do you see why it's the boyfriend's problem with processing this, though? According to op, the bf is claiming that this attention is hurtful. Op isn't trying to convince them to want it, they're just asking for more frequent sex. None of what op said suggests that she's pressuring bf to do more.
Yes, I agree that him asking for a breakup is the healthier thing he could do if it bothers him this much. But to claim that her saying that he's good at sex is “hurtful” is ridiculous.
I used to be this person too. I did start asking for what I explicitly need after learning to show vulnerability through years of therapy and, sadly, had to lose a lot of people in that process. People I was there for through a lot would leave me on read and reply 2 weeks later with something they need when I texted that I just needed someone to talk to right now etc. It was painful, but necessary. Over time all the emotional leeches removed themselves from my life or I kicked them out which freed up space for building new relationships and I am now surrounded by genuine people who care about me to the same extent as I do about them. Process that took years but OP, you need to do it in order to reestablish healthy relationships. I am getting close to 40 right now and for the first time I feel I have healthy boundaries and healthy relationships with most people around me. Took a while but so so worth it.
Restraint is another form of physical abuse. You should tell him as much. Don't take all the guilt here on yourself.
Initiate the breakup and see if he is just bluffing. If he doesn’t really care make sure you let the ex know that their tradition is the cause of breakup then block that moron
you’re already justifying it to yourself and others, so what’s the internal conflict you’re still having here that you need advice on? it’s not a categorical red flag, so what about it is still bothering you?
What did I just read? Made no sense
I’ve worked in addiction recovery and known parents have their kids removed for less.
Get your child away from that man immediately. He straight up drugged a 3 year old, that’s not an “antic” it’s child abuse.
Your poor mum. You're a terrible son.
Uh huh, just on there to look for her right?
I very much hope you test negative. You will be ok.
HIV is no longer a death sentence, but it is a very serious matter.
This guy is a piece of shit. End your relationship with him immediately (or, if you think he won't cover those when you break up with him, after all of your expenses and treatment are paid for)
Please use this experience as a HUGE sign, and ALWAYS have your own contraceptives “just in case.” DEMAND they be used every time. It's non negotiable. You're not ready to be a parent, and you need to protect yourself from STI's. Don't expect the other person to be responsible. Be responsible for your own well-being.
Some guys will whine “condoms don't feel as good” and your response should be “they feel better than not having sex at all.” Stick to that! Practice saying it with your friends until you can confidently say it, if necessary.
You're both responsible for preventing pregnancy and STI's. Communicate about these things before you engage in activities. If you can't talk about having safe and healthy sex? You're not ready to have any sex, at all.
You should know your partner's last test date and results, and anyone, including you, who is sexually active should get tested before and after the deed with every new partner. Especially when things go wrong, like a condom breaking, or a missed pill.
This is not a “things went wrong” situation. This is a “you didn't stand up for yourself and enforce healthy boundaries” thing.
I'm not saying any of this is your fault. You're young and inexperienced, and this guy fully took advantage of that. If he can't “stay very hot with a condom on,” then he can stay limp.
Going forward, please take the steps to prevent this situation from ever happening again.
He’s definitely reciprocating her advances by flirting with her & dressing up for her. Very brazen behavior to do this in front of OP.
Please just leave he's never going to change also for the next time date someone closer to your age because a good majority of older man do exactly what your husband did to you to manipulate them into a corner
There is such a thing called ethical porn…….. Hell, there’s even subreddits were couples do porn together. Not all of it is vile and disgusting. You just haven’t bothered to look for the good in it.
but I respect her privacy and boundaries
and don't mind if she replies that she's not into it. But I'm not receiving in positive or negative response.
You're sorta saying two different things in the very same sentence. You shot your shot, she has not reciprocated, that's enough of an answer. To respect her privacy and boundaries, don't continue to make unreciprocated attempts at contact. Maybe she'll get back at you, if so great, otherwise you've already done everything you can. Don't step into the realm of harassment.
Thanks, I don’t know any of these.
It’s not my back up.. it’s his. In fact, when I came to the conclusion of keeping this child entirely at first, I even decided that right afterwards, I was going to get my tubes tied.
Preach, friend. Wonderful response.
I'm just worried I'll end up single for like, I'm 30 now, not getting any younger and it scares me.
So you are willing to be with a woman who rarely hugs you and holds your hand.
Who is only intimate with you once or twice when SHE decides.
You never know what she is thinking.
AND you are afraid to talk to her because it would be awkward.
Op? I hate to break it to you but these are not selling points.
In fact, these are red flags.
Let's say you do stay with her. How long do you think you can put up with this? A year? Three years? Five years?
Eventually, you will throw in the towel because THIS is not what you want or need, right?
Now you are in a real dilemma. You are “older”. Hurt, sad, and traumatized. Have a home, financial entanglements, and maybe a kid or two. Getting out of it will be…he11. Bet.
Get out of it now and you can heal, gather your thoughts and in time be ready and open to find someone who is like minded. Right?
This is my best advice, Op. Do with it what you will.
I wish you the very best.
(Psst? THIS isn't it.)
You are young I guess but don't be in a relationship that sucks, it's that simple!
I’m just an internet stranger but I hope however you adapt this to you helps!
Bad days will happen, especially in the fallout of a breakup. Rebounds will happen, you'll do things that with a clearer mind probably weren't great ideas. People will disappoint you, no question.
You know all this. This is adult life. But it isn't a reason to go all in. It isn't a reason to court drama like this. If you take some time alone, really process everything and get on top of your emotions and don't pivot any romantic pursuit around just filling the gaps you will find yourself in a better place significantly sooner.
You had the bad luck of going from a bad relationship to a rebound dynamic with a guy that is apparently just as toxic. That sucks but don't let the fact they are awful convince you that somehow this is your fault or that this is how it has to be.
Help me understand why i upset my woman. in my head i communicated an insecurity, in a respectful way because I wanted to resolve it. We didn’t fight, but she told me that she was turned off and hasn’t talk to me since lol. She’s clearly not happy. Does me saying what I said, generally make a woman feel BAD?
Do you have reason to think they will be angry at you? (They shouldn't be.) Why would they decide not to come to your wedding?
With the phone number, you can look up who it belongs to using a site like truepeoplesearch dot com. 95% of the time, it'll be accurate and tell you the person's full name, age, email addresses, home addresses, etc. Every now and then it's inaccurate or the person doesn't show up, but I use that site all the time to do a quick background search on people as I date.