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Model from: nl
Languages: en,es,nl
Birth Date: 1993-02-10
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Let’s rephrase this:
“Hey everyone! I’m an ‘alpha’ male, which means I’m so insecure in my masculinity that I act like a dick in public to boost my very small and very fragile ego and make everyone with a social IQ higher than that of a child, uncomfortable. I also belittle my girlfriend because it makes me feel powerful and like a real man. For some reason though, my girlfriend doesn’t like this ‘alpha’ energy. What can I do to fix this? (Besides stopping myself from being an asshole because I’m just too ‘alpha’ for that)”
Bro, take this shit over to the redpill subreddit so you can circlejerk with the rest of the degenerates who think they are ‘alpha’ males. This is just sad.
How about the best decision for the kid who doesn't exist yet but that you would be bringing into this situation?
Jesus christ. Yeah move on and block, she sounds like a nightmare. Don't let her guilt trip you or gaslight you
If the kind of loyalty in a relationship that your girlfriend is looking for is not your thing, but it is your girlfriend’s thing, then in the long term you are still heading to a breakup.
Decide is she’s actually the person you want to be with, and if she’s not then let her go. And if she is, every time you’re tempted to like a lingerie picture, go like one of your girlfriend’s pictures instead.
Graham, stop spamming.
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Immediately get rid and find someone better. Sounds like that won't be hot.
So hes never been with another women is what he is saying. No women is instantly wet, even guys need some kind of sexual thought to get us going. Had this conversation with my wife earlier this week. I gave her a nice oil massage because she was having a shit day and I wanted to make her feel little less shit. It ended up in sex, in her words ” its crazy that you touching me all over and relaxing my muscles would put me in the mood”.
I knew a guy who met a girl at a club in Vegas who was there for a bachelorette party. They hit it off, found they lived in the same state, dated for 3 years, she even lived with him for the last year. Then he found out the bachelorette party he met her at was HER bachelorette party. She had told her husband she had cancer so had to stay at the hospital in the city my friend lived in. When she would tell my friend “I’m gonna go home for the weekend to see my parents” she was going home to her husband. No one knew. Not any of her friends, not her family, nothing.
I’m not trying to get in your head but 4 years is a long damn time to never see in her house and for her to KEEP putting you off. Trust but verify, ya know? When shit doesn’t seem to add up it’s worth asking. Sit down and tell her you are genuinely concerned you haven’t seen her living situation and it makes you worry about long term compatibility. Tell her if she needs a week or so to tidy or help you’re willing (if you are) but it’s important to you.
Dude, if you are living your life in way that makes you say “but they do it on tik tok and YouTube so it must be totally okay”, I don't know how to help you.
I don't even have to read the post. Just, no.
Yes OP can, OP can end the relationship.
Run! You’ve dated 2 months & she wants to save her money for your babies? She wants to move in together? Please. She just wants to get married. She’s not over her ex, and staying with her will bring you only misery. She wants a lot more than is reasonable.
Dude you said she doesn’t want kids (10%-20% is still a failing grade and a NO) and she wants to get another eight year ring
Take the hint. She doesn’t want kids and you’re not going to get them from her
And never date anyone even remotely like him again, either.
Good. I gave you that advice because it’s the same advice I’ve been given in therapy. I have never been bullied by “friends/acquaintances”, or well, they might have tried but I’ve never been susceptible to it – I just walk away. However, there is another area I struggle with which is dating, I have been used and abused by men bc I couldn’t enforce my boundaries and was too polite to walk away. Reason I’m telling you this is bc being a sensitive & insecure person can feel lonely and like “why am I struggling like this”, but all we can do is try to remind eachother that it’s okay to enforce boundaries and break the pattern of toxic relationships.
Bullshit. If it was against his beliefs, he could just say no.
? whoopsies
God forbid his parents die. Wtf is he gonna do go dump the kid at the firestation?
Assure her you do this for the safety of both of you, and once you finish school you will make it up to her.
I agree it’s been impossible for me to not text him multiple times because 1.5 years is a long time to just ghost someone over something this small. But 3 days is irregular for him which is why I think he may be done. I edited the fight into the post too I forgot to mention it
Except it was in the context of how he 'would love to do stand-up comedy someday.' Stealing jokes from other stand-up comedians is hugely problematic. If the context had been just telling her a joke that he'd heard somewhere, it would have been fine; instead he passed it off as one that he had come up with for a potential future stand-up routine.
There's a few things to consider here; first, you said you've been friends with John for some time, as well as with Adam. Being friends, if he's emotionally unavailable, I'd like to assume that that's something you'd likely be aware of by now. I guess we'd need to understand just how close of friends you've been, if you're aware of his romantic history, and also how he's acted over the last month you've been seeing each other. On that note, you call him your boyfriend, but are you actually official, or are you just dating? Have you discussed what you're both looking for? That's important context.
Second, it's certainly strange that Adam would say this to you completely unsolicited. He might very well be 100% right, but it's still not his place to go above his supposed best friend and say this to you. It's disrespectful, even if done from a place of love (which I'm not so sure is the case at this point).
After that, you're just wasting your time speculating as to why this happened. You've also considered some really silly ideas. The point is, you shouldn't be guessing; you should be asking. Tell your boyfriend about this. I'd imagine you don't want to get in between a friendship and create a problem, but the reality is that Adam created this situation, not you.
So sit John down and tell him what Adam said to you. Try to get to the bottom of things. Maybe you're missing something and learning about a red flag immediately. Or maybe Adam is up to something which will need to be dealt with from a friendship perspective. I know you don't want to bring it up, but you already absolutely have to. It's great that you're considering the impact on their friendship, but you need to understand that you matter too and this is your relationship. Speak up. Good luck.