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To be brutally straightforward, if your bf truly loves you, he would be able to support you through the entirety of med school. Even if that means the relationship is not your 1st priority. I myself could not forgive myself if my fiancé had sacrificed her dreams for the sake of my ego/feelings. Thinking long term, the duration of med school does not compare to having a secure life time financially.
You need to put yourself first, be selfish. If it’s meant to be it will.
Hi — it sounds like the reason you follow those girls is not bc they are “sexy” or “attractive” to you but more bc of your passion/love for anime, comics and cosplay. You’ve given your gf a LOT of leniency into your private life including sharing passwords and phone access. I think that demonstrates a very high level of trustworthiness. The fact that she still doesn’t trust you after that to me is an issue. So you delete all females you’re following but one day she finds you liked some random post with a girl in it and all hell breaks loose. ? OP, you need to gently tell her this is your boundary. If she isn’t okay then move on. She has bigger issues it seems like.
What did he do? He deleted them as I was about to read
These scenarios are always very difficult. It’s easy to say that if you had known then what you know now you would have booted her, therefore that should be your preference now. But the intervening 10 years actually count. If you have been happy and fulfilled, and your wife has provided the partnership you’ve always wanted, weigh that present reality against the demons of a past you never actually experienced. The key is not to get hung up on the need to balance the equation: she cheated then, she must go now.
The big if is whether you can get past the betrayal because what you have is worth the pain, or not. While it is accurate to say that she has forced you to on-line a probable lie for ten years, it is an exaggeration to say that she has lied to your face every step of the way. I get the technical nature of her misconduct. But unless the topic comes up repeatedly, she is struggling daily with her guilt more than she is actively lying. A small distinction, to be sure, but it could be telling in the balance.
Whatever you do, as you appear to be doing, look deeply into your heart and project your future with her as you have come to know her against starting all over. If you can’t get past the betrayal, and I confess I would struggle with it, then don’t drag things out any further. End the marriage and move on. But if with the help of counseling you think it might be possible then try that first. Don’t get into the sunk cost fallacy, though. If you know you will never be able to feel the same about her or trust her again, don’t let the time invested this far be the determining factor. Cut your future loses and go.
Why would you even entertain the idea of bringing children into this marriage? God.