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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2002-12-05
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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Who gives a fuck what reddit thinks, what do you think? Obviously you're super mad right now. Maybe wait till your emotions are more stable to be able to make an informed decision on your relationship. You don't want to be make important life decisions too quickly or while you're emotionally compromised.
Sadly, it doesn’t sound like it is going to work out. You can be patient all you want but if she is talking to other guys, you are just one of those other guys as well. Plus, if you are working on bettering yourself and she isn’t, it just won’t work.
You can’t love someone out of mental illness. You cannot negotiate with mental illness. If someone is suicidal then your compassion can only delay not cure. I have twice survived suicide and I guarantee that nothing you do will help your GF. She needs therapy. Until she addresses her mental illness, her behavior will not change. Even if she is using threats to manipulate you, that’s also a sign that she needs professional help. If she threatens to kill herself, assume that she is being serious and call emergency medical services (911, 999, whatever it is where you are). Serious threats get serious reactions. Once she is getting help then give her support and compassion. Your participation can help therapy but it cannot replace it. The greatest act of love you can do for her is realizing that this is a battle you cannot win. This is not a battle that you are even qualified to fight.
The truth is that you breaking up with her left a void in her life. It doesn’t matter if you were still there for her. You broke up with her.
People with BPD have an extreme fear of abandonment. They have this odd dichotomy of pushing people away out of fear of people leaving them. They also are incredibly reliant on attention and often take their value from attention. In her words, “male validation.”
You have every right to be hurt. But I’m just explaining to you, that she probably did it out of desperation and loneliness and the crippling fear of being left alone with no one to love them (a common fear of people with BPD).
You said it yourself, she takes an emotional toll on you that isn’t good for you. You did the right thing by breaking up with her. I’m sorry to say that she will always try to reel you back in (and then push you away again by doing stuff like this), if you stay friends with her. Sadly, what is best for you, and her, is to just leave. And not give her the hope you will get back together.
Her fear of abandonment might feel like it’s coming true, but that isn’t your responsibility. You said it yourself, you can’t handle being in a relationship with her. It’s too much. Do yourself a favor, and move on. In the long run, she will be grateful she didn’t have false hope
Um, is this a joke post? Why would you be willing to “make her life better” by moving her to the US and helping her get a green card while she dates other men? And you would have to join the military? So basically your wife has a new boyfriend but wants you to support her instead of relying on him to support her? Yes, you should support your daughter but there is no reason for you to help a woman that already has a new boyfriend.
Take him on a shopping trip after whatever event the gift would be at. You spend time with him and he gets what he wants without you feeling that your gift has been rejected.
Are you talking friends or dating?
What subjects do you want to connect over?
Maybe you need to find a group of westerners to connect with? Some city meetup?
I appreciate that you gave a levelheaded response! Most people are saying that OP needs to stand his ground and tell her like it is, but in practice, things will likely go better if OP attempts having a conversation rather than lecturing her or asking loaded questions. The GF is already in a bad mood, so if OP comes in too strong, she’ll double down and get angrier. There are ways to be gentle but firm. She might be acting like a child, but it’s not good for a relationship to develop a parent-child dynamic. The situation needs to be addressed swiftly and clearly, but it can be done kindly too. If the GF continues to behave like this despite OP bringing it to her attention, then he will have to decide if he wants to stay in the relationship. We can’t force people to act how we want them to, so either we accept their bad behaviors or leave.
This is both horrifying and hilarious. Horrifying to think that there are actually people with their heads that far up their ass, but hilarious that he will probably be single soon.
I've been talking about it for over a month. It's been ten years. He knows anniversaries, birthdays and holidays are very important to me.
so ive done this, several times, and they reachout in a few days to a week at most and ask how im doing.. then txt me for a day or two then ghost again.. at this point im torn cause she was never like this so i know its over but dont want it to be… fuck why does life suck like this sometimes?
I have. Many times.
I value perspectives from others and their experiences. It allows me to make small adjustments, especially in areas where I am not experience progress.
I appreciate your feedback.
I didn’t even read this except the title. You should be alarmed. People who do this kind of shit don’t just do it one time and it doesn’t come from nowhere.
that sounds so convoluted and unhealthy. Talking to him about issues shouldnt be such a cause for anxiety.
It could still work out, if the boyfriend is a furry.
Oh, bro, no, bro. Weep with your girl, bro. Fake tough guy self-repression bullshit is old, bro.
Why would you get plastic surgery so that's so ineffective that your own wife doesn't even notice you had it
Ooh, that's a really interesting observation. We're getting this from OPs POV, after all and they may be cherrypicking just some of the things the BF found unhealthy. And it does sound a bit like 'hoarder' behaviour; espcially keeping the silica gel packets.
he said it was a goodbye letter to move on?? i’m not sure i’ve never dealt with this before lol
Ok thank you. I'm going to wait until it's closer to the point of me leaving so that way he doesn't notice that the card isn't working. I'm afraid that if I do it now and he realizes that the card has been canceled, he could hurt me.
It's called Trimethylaminuria.