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This is a DUH situation honey! He manipulated you, abused you. DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR HIM, SCREW HIM, HE CAN GO TO HELL
You haven't spoken to him in a year, and you are afraid of his reaction to being told you've moved on….WHY SPEAK TO HIM AT ALL?!?!?!
Block, ignore, lock down your life, tell your current circle of friends about the abuse. let them know how this person acted.
and get out of the mind set you feel bad for him…why? you feel bad because you didn't let him abuse you? come on!
This is illegal. And predatory. Take it to the police. Cut him off. Protect your son.
This one’s 50/50. If you were worried about having a full class, you should have been there with some time to spare. That said, it’s absolutely not okay for someone to snap at you in a professional setting.
Family members aren't therapists. This logic doesn't work for everyone. My bipolar father regularly escaped from mental hospital to terrorize our family and almost strangled my mother next to my 8yo self. Family is suffering from mental illness, they need help too.
This is why I have always said that cell phones are ruining our lives
Man I read Reddit to laugh, not to get base desires and cave and run to Taco Bell lol
Teach your child what a healthy relationship looks like. This isn’t it.
Uhh…breaking up with him is like…the best/only option you have. If you had sex the night he was back, id suggest you test yourself for any STDs just to be on the safe side
OP said it wasn't the sleeping with someone that gets him, it's the fact that she lied about having an emotional affair before they broke up.
It’s ice skating not fucking lol but you don’t sound over your ex if you can’t even do a generic winter activity with the new one???
He sounds (and I could be wrong) like he has narcissistic tendencies. If so, he will most likely argue back why you’re wrong, try and belittle your husbands feelings, twist the story, make you feel bad for him etc. Went through similar thing (not SA) with my boyfriend’s narcissistic best friend and we’ve missed full on parties, events, outings to avoid him. Also beloved, popular, wanted at events? I’m so sorry y’all are going through this, but the peace to not see him is worth any sacrifice of outings and a loss of a “friend” (a true friend wouldn’t do that no matter how intoxicated tho imo)
He’s emotionally immature and avoidantly attached, that sounds like a terrible partner. He dumped you because you had a list of a number of valid concerns mixed in with things he could explain if he wanted to.
You’re angry, be angry at the right thing: wasting your time. Be grateful you got an escape, he would have been exhausting and physically unfulfilling obviously. Be with someone who openly talks to you so you aren’t having to play Sherlock Holmes and freak yourself out over puzzles because you feel confident in your partner’s affection.
Notice how everyone is telling you to break up with him and straight up ignore where you said he’s ready to cut her off for you………bunch of miserable people trying to make others miserable. If he’s ready to cut her off then have him do so and establish boundaries on how he acts with women. If he’s ready to cut her off he’s trying to make it work with you. Don’t give that up until he shows he can’t stick to respecting your boundaries
It's ok to have fear, but you're assuming, again, that it's your job to control her feelings. She's handled worse, and as long as you approach this with respect and compassion, there's no reason to assume it'll go all sideways.
She'll regret telling you if she finds out you agonize over it and never talk to her about it
if I bring this up now she might think that I always felt this way
You can talk to her and explain that you didn't know how to proceed and wanted to take your time to make sure you didn't make a mistake or mishandle the situation. That's ok.
How else do you want to approach this? There's no magic solution that you can resolve this with no effort or discomfort. Would you rather address your own discomforts in isolation from your partner? Simply find a way to move past your own discomforts? Am I wrong in assuming part of the reason you're nervous about being more aggressive sexually is precisely because you don't want to trigger get trauma?
I sincerely believe opening up to her and working on this together is the easiest and most respectful way to find a solution. It shows her the most care, and gives you both the best chance of God outcomes
I’m a lot older and I have a lot more experience. Please trust me. A good man would have taken care of you. This man didn’t do that. He made you run errands for him and when you were too sick to keep cooking, he actually brought the chore to you and expected you to work. It’s abusive. It’s really really scary. You need to get out of this relationship. This was not about him not wanting to do this alone. It wasn’t. He forced his sick girlfriend to do chores. This is going to get worse and I would be very surprised it didn’t become violent. I’m available if you want to talk. I’m a 59 year old mom. I got out of my own abusive relationship a long time ago and I have since worked with a lot of women in abusive relationships. You are in an abusive relationship. This isn’t just controlling. It’s far beyond that. Leave quietly and have a friend with you. Don’t tell him in advance. Leaving is the most dangerous time. If you have any doubts then call a domestic violence hotline and describe what happened just as you did here. They will tell you the same thing I am and they will provide support. I am so sorry that you are in this situation but so grateful that you reached out here to ask about it. What I’m saying could save your life. I’m not being dramatic. Your story is straight out of a how to spot abuse questionnaire. It always gets worse.
So what advice are you looking for? So she realized what she was doing and could possibly jeopardize her relationship so she ended it. Having a sugar daddy comes with a lot of strings. It’s not free money.
Thank you for the encouragement that it is possible to change.
Regarding therapy I have been seeing a spiritual counselor once a week for 1.5 years. Our time is more focused on realizing what I need to do to endure the struggles of my home life. But I think if I asked for our conversation to focus on improving my self control my counselor would have solid input. I need concrete solutions tho. I have never felt like counseling/therapy has given me great tools to overcome challenges just a listening ear and a pat on the back when I figure things out for myself. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if I need to change to a different therapy style.
hmm, It's normal to feel uneasy when a partner engages in behavior that is not transparent, especially when it's behavior that raises suspicion. 🙂
However, it's also important to communicate your feelings with your partner and have an open and honest conversation about why you feel uneasy, what your concerns are, and what you would like to see change.
I think if you didn't mind her head there then leave it. On the surface, your girlfriend's reaction is a bit OTT. Did she say why she was angry and upset?
Either way pushing a stranger is rude.
I personally wouldn't care if someone accidentally fell asleep on my boyfriend if he wasn't bothered.
You don't need to make a huge song and dance about it, but you can definitely bring it up.
Oh my god, get lost with this sanctimonious BS. It is totally fine to have more reserved attitudes and approaches to sex, and for you to personally value you it as a thing saved for significant relationships. But no one is in any way morally inferior, less competent in relationships, or less capable of expressing true intimacy because they prefer to have sex earlier on in a relationship, or enjoy having sex casually.
Cant' stress this enough. Communication is amazing. EFFECTIVE communication? Exponentially better! The trick is finding the way to effectively communicate that both parties understand Once found, it's life changing. 😉
Cheers!
I know. I completely understand
With an addict nothing matters but that. He doesn’t think he’s an addict and won’t get help. So you need to walk away not put this off for a month thinking he will « take it better » then.
I only sucked his dick till he came in my mouth!
Also, they definitely fucked. She didn't just come to that moment and stop.
Maybe her friends are hoity toity and she would be embarrassed to bring you due to your career. Has she ever come off as snobbish or feign interest?
Well I guess that's how I view it. That's how I was raised. That's how my parents were. You date one person. You marry one person. THen again nowadays “things” with a penis think it is fair to play sports against women. So what do I know.
He will not apologize, because you taught him that he doesn't have to.
You're going to sulk for a couple of days and then come back to being a nice, obedient wife who allows him to be the king in HER CAR and HER LIFE when he's not even fit to be a manure boy.
You can live! with this for probably a very short time (before he kills you), or you can call a lawyer and divorce him.
Break up.
Just came home from a cruise my married friend/client and 2 of her girlfriends invited me on— it was even paid for by them. I’d say it’s pretty normal for mature adults to go on a cruise together.
The naivety of OP is just sad
Yeahh that’s what I’m thinking might be the best move tbf, I just don’t want it to come across like I’m trying to ‘make a move’ by approaching her to offer support. All I want is her to be happy and to make her feel reassured and comforted.
Lately I’ve been trying to follow my heart instead of my head. And it keeps telling me to reach out to her :/
That's very heavily skewed by a few major cities as well
That’s town C.