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breaking up is absolutely not an option
Yes. It's an option. It might not be an option you like but it's still an option.
i have been hurt so many times
Right, and that's why I suggested therapy. You should have cut the relationship off as soon as you learned you have different views on sex. You made the choice to continue, and that choice lead to you feeling more torn/hurt.
and in my heart i know he's the one
He might be the one for you but you're not the one for him.
i can't let him go
You sat that like he's an item for you to possess. He's an actual person who can make his own choices, even if you don't like them.
Break up. She's Looney Toons. lol
I think a part of me thinks, “he’s not physically hurting me so it’s not bad.”
But he has physically hurt you. A very hot shove is still assault. Plenty of abused people have been seriously injured, even killed, when they've been shoved by their abuser. All it takes is for you to lose your footing, then crack your head on a table corner.
I've heard some women say the physical abuse wasn't as bad as the mental abuse for them, because a bruise healed far faster than the scars left on their psyche.