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Y'all I've been watching too much hbo…
Op, the only advice I have is a general one; never beg for someone's time. If they regularly make excuses to exclude you, there's your answer. You don't need to overthink it or keep trying, they simply don't want you around and they're making it clear. Now give the same energy back.
Go low contact and stop inviting them period.
To add, relationships this co-dependent are deeply unhealthy and their blow is up is always inevitable. Just stay back and have fun watching it implode on its own.
I don't know from where his idea came from. He never told me about that and I would have understood his fears if he tried to communicate them with me.
Is it a red flag that after 5 years we are still in the same spot? We don't have anything build together, we only talked about buying an apartament. We also found an apartament that matches our criteria a week ago and I told him I am okay with that one so if he wanted us to buy that apartament to let me know (we will split it, I have the half money of it and he has the other half, so we will have in the contract the same equal rights). I am not sure if he has a fear of commitment and all his questions appeared because of the apartment we found.
I don't want to lose him, but I think we are not on the same page and it hurts…