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Honestly how do you think your going to have a long and fulfilling relationship juggling them both do you think that’s fair to your daughter?
Is happiness all that matters?
Who ever has the child can pretty much do what they want. You can call the police and scare her but they will say its a civil matter. Then you take that report and you go to court. Or you come to agreement so you can see your kid on xmas. Does the girl friend have to be there while your daughter is? Take the high ground and then go back to court and get clear consequences if she does this again. You won't get into court before xmas at this point.
He started crying and curled up and turned away from me.
This gave me the ick and he's not even MY boyfriend
If you want to be honest you have to straight up tell her. Rip off the bandaid and accept any outcome that happens. If she gives you a second chance take it with improving yourself so that doesn’t happen again. But know that there maybe a higher chance of you two breaking up.
At this point does it even matter the method. This is the stuff of horror movies.
Everytime we talked about it, she ended up crying. Because she feels she's trying. And I'm not sayibg shes not. Just … not enough I guess for me?… atm im just trying to cope with it because I'm afraid to hurt her feelings.
Shes the joke. Get rid of her
I dont have the best advice but I think give it a chance. Perhaps it will seem natural. Dates can be fun and I think youd be surprised how well you can get to know someone after sharing a few meals with them (and just them).
Is it cheating if you go in a locker room with a gym with a female friend and get dressed next to each other? What a our if you hug a male cousin?
Some of them are titanium now
Dear Lord. You should not feel guilty at all. Your bf is a hobosexual. He is ruining your finances. You have to get out.
i was in denial :/ . just didn’t want to believe the truth because it hurts so badly. when i was talking about living vibrantly i meant how he felt like a peer of mine, like how he still acts young and lives like a young person. but anyway, i made what happened way to small so i wouldn’t have to deal with what i’m feeling right now. broken. miserable. dirty. so angry. so hurt. i have nothing left to give
More so someone they both know
Hi! The terms were clear. She needed to bring her own clients in order to claim partnership. And she didn't. All her phone calls to clients were from my own client list. The corporation already existed, as well as the structure. I do have her initial.message asking for partnership and with my very clear response. I also periodically asked her if she had any clients and she didn't come up with anything.
I’m sorry you had to deal with it too. Thank you ?
I’m sorry you had to deal with it too. Thank you ?
Don’t have a baby with him . What a selfish twat
I can see why you’re hurt, but if you broke up with her and she slept with someone else, it’s none of your business and it’s definitely not cheating. If you want her back, ask her for forgivness and don’t create drama where there clearly isn’t one. Also you said you bought a girl £150 pair of shows for her birthday, is she your best friend or just a random girl you work with? I can see why that broke her heart, if you’re not crazy rich, you don’t do these things for someone you’re not extremely close with.
Was this at her parents house or something? How did they know security yelled at you? And if your gf was drunk with you, why are you know in trouble?
Sorry, but there are so many missing pieces of information. That it’s impossible to begin to know how to help.
This is not “supporting you through your insecurities”. You are not trying to actively make yourself less insecure. Your insecurities are your own, and it's on YOU to deal with them. You don't think that a part with topless women might be important to the plot, but a guy taking his shirt off is? This is just you being straight up unreasonable. Deal with your insecurities before it ruins your relationship.
Coming back in OP to gently suggest that, despite your desire to be courteous, you don’t send a note/message/text or anything. You’re not ghosting anyone. If he’s that curious about your silence, he can investigate and reach his own conclusions. He’s got plenty of time as he’s not involved in a relationship./s
In general, when people show you who they are..believe them. Walk away and focus on one of your other guys who’s actually showing interest in seeing you.
Well you did say it in front of the immediate family. You could have pulled he and your sister aside vs. doing it in front of your parents.
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Also he makes jokes about my tummy fat which makes me feel even worse even though I weigh 120 pounds
I love how the kids not being able to come over for a week means that the dad has literally no other way of seeing them. Like cars don’t exist. Like parks don’t exist. Like spending time with your kids outside of your home is a completely foreign concept.
You’re insecure and also dating a dude who doesn’t compliment you or treat you the way you want. That’s the gist of it.
When I thought she was having sex with a woman in an open relationship, she received a video that showed her sucking a dick and getting fingered. She thought that video would've been automatically backed up to my server like phone photos/videos. It wouldn't have been uploaded, but she didn't know that. So she made up a story about how her “psycho boyfriend” came home and how they made her suck his dick. Then they sent her the video to blackmail her into coming back. That was her story. What really happened is she was fucking a guy all along, and he sent her that video to send to other women, hoping to entice them into joining them for a threesome.
Yes therapy can help with the sexual trauma and dealing with the ongoing effects, but it's not going to make you NOT be Bi anymore.
He is abusive
A very good idea.
Oof. I feel like it’s perfectly normal and common for a woman to tell a man that their snoring is outrageous, haha. My partner snores but it’s something that can be fixed usually by having him roll on his side or prop his head up on a pillow.
In this instance, I think it’s okay for you to let her know that she snores loudly at night and it interrupts your sleep. Heavy snoring can indicate a health issue, like sleep apnea. Maybe she should go to the doctor and address the heavy, extremely loud snoring. It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but there are ways to help snoring or at least calm it down. Your sleep matters, too!
Ah, I’ve been reading the comments but I haven’t found one specifying that yet. I just know a lot of people will say the name brand and actually have the off brand just because it’s the same drug and the name brand is what usually everyone knows it by.
Not sure how you “found out” when all you describe here is you trying to do some amateur psychology on this guy. It's in the nature of people in mental health treatment to try to diagnose others with their newfound wisdom but that's not how it works. If he did want to explore this in himself he'd need to get his own therapist and not just piggyback onto your sessions. If, for whatever reason, you want to stay in this (apparently awful) relationship you'd seek out couples counseling, a different subspecialty than what your therapist is trained in. Because what this really sounds like is that he's paying more than his share of the bills and he's starting to resent it. Also sounds like he's tired of being psychoanalyzed by you.
The same experience that anyone has who has been in a long term relationship. At some point you can stop viewing other women as potential love interests entirely. In your mind it shouldn't even be a fantasy.
Really? I guess we don't have the same view of money then :/
I think you do a great job here of being accountable and really putting her well-being at the forefront with the language you use, but without demonizing yourself or exaggerating your guilt or wrongdoing to escape feedback. It speaks very well for you as a partner! I wouldn't change the tone of the message at all. If I was going to nitpick, I would just tweak a couple things.
I would strike “under duress” which implies animosity, and replace with “in the heat of the moment” or similar.
I would change “I can push past my stuff a lot easier” to “my stuff isn't as impactful in everyday situations”, to avoid any chance of her hearing it as “you're not as good at dealing with it as I am”.
I would add something that gives her an opportunity to tell you what she needs in her own words. Maybe something like: “I'm coming to you with a plan for how I'm going to do better, because it's important to me that I get this right, and that you know I'm thinking of you. However, this is all based on my own reflection and assumptions, so if I've got something wrong or there's something more helpful I can do, I hope you'll share that with me and trust me to listen.”
I don't think your advice is great, so I didn't quite finish your comment, sorry. If you read my final thoughts comment you'll get an idea of the approach I'm looking for, thanks!
So she'd be first if you got married? She'd be first if you were the mother of his kids?
Ridiculous.
You certainly are to prioritize your spouse in a marriage.
To be fair to him, I think he may be in the right with you guys only dating for 4 months……
But the way he said it… That doesn't sit right with me.
There is delineation between “my dad was fishing” and “my dad got really upset, kicked him out, and told me to find another boyfriend”. That delineation was the above statement. The boyfriend absolutely said something wrong. Imagine being a surgeon having your field insulted for other peoples botched surgeries.
Bro wtf? You can’t really think this is a legit gripe. I get it, it’s hard imagining your partner with someone else. But facts are facts, you weren’t clear with her, you absolutely didn’t make it clear you were envisioning exclusivity. Either let it go, or break up with her. If you can’t let it go, try therapy.
I admit, you got me.
She obviously values herself. She’s right. If the thought of staying with your sick girlfriend makes you angry, then just leave her be. She’s young and beautiful, she can probably get many guys that will take care of her when she’s sick. She doesn’t need some aggressive guy around her who doesn’t even see when he did something wrong. Just leave her be.
Get a grip. Life happens.
Why would he think that him talking about his attraction to other girls would be a benefit to your relationship? It sounds more thoughtless.
Are you okay with his addiction issues?
I absolutely wouldn't go into this without working through both of your feelings in couples therapy as well as with your fertility doctor.
First, the fertility doctor: Figure out if it even makes sense to consider IVF at this point or if there are other things you two should be doing to increase your chances. Also so you can understand what IVF means for you.
Then therapy. Couples and individual to deal with both of your feelings about this and your general anxiety.
Okay, let me start by saying I really haven’t experienced the full thing you are going through, but I’ve been with a boy who hadn’t come out to his family (only to a couple friends).
I don’t see not being out as a huge nono, people need time to face their orientation and maybe his environment is blocking him. I mean, he is 20. If you can be together behind closed doors and not outside and be fine with it, it may be worth it.
However, that doesn’t mean you should be okay with being put aside or disrespected. Going MIA and not replying is bad, but pushing you away because he might have seen someone? No. I sincerely hope he apologised thoroughly about that.
How long has this relationship been going on?
Have you tried being open about how you feel and what you’d like, to see if you can have a compromise? Putting things on the table might give him some perspective, but it does require you being vulnerable with him.
She's not interested, bro.
OP, it sounds like you know that this is your issues and not your husbands! Good on you! Having those feelings are only human, just don’t let them get in the way WHY you started cosplay in the first place. Did you start to do it because you wanted to win contests, or because you truly love cosplaying.
Yup. He’s backpedaled now and said he’s not going to push her into it, but that post, man. Not okay.
I ain’t readin all that but I’m glad whatever it was, you got it off your chest.
Your family is nuts. It sounds like your sister is the golden child and you're the scapegoat. They are twisting this all around and making it your fault, but nothing is your fault. You were the one who was wronged at Christmas, and now you're being hurt again. I know you feel guilty but you did nothing wrong — it's your family that is very, very messed up. I think the only healthy thing to do is to get away from them. Can you leave for a weekend, a week, a month? Do not take any calls or texts from them. Consider seeing a therapist for support because you're going to need it. They are treating you like absolute garbage. Hold your head high.
Where did I say women were cars?
I'll wait…
I was meant to change the part about most people stopping as I must say I was tired writing it.
This is literally the only problem we have, minus the obvious small arguments that I’m sure every couple has. After talking to people I feel like it’s an irrational boundary, and he swears he’ll stop. I didn’t even really feel upset when I found the most recent one (this happened just this week as in a few days ago) just sort of angry.
Why are you embarrassed? You went to the bathroom. My nieces and nephews used to have this book when they were young called, “Everybody Poops!” We learn early on that yeah, everyone does, it's normal and natural.
Your asshole bf and his idiotic friends should be embarrassed, not you. Most people outgrow toilet humor at about 12. Your bf is almost 30. He should be mortified.
He didn't defend you, and is blaming you.
Fuck. Him.
It's great when they project their own inner self. We just need to listen and recognize the projections.
You tell her that she can do whatever she wants you don’t care, because it’s over.
You don’t want anything to do with someone who has no morals or respect for themselves.
He is right.
No people don’t “accidentally” cheat. They choose to cheat. You made a conscious choice.
Right?? What would that talk even consist of lol “you’re ugly but I still love you?” Like who is going to take that in a positive way? Op is ridiculous.
We don't get to choose how people treat us, but we do get to choose how we treat them. If you didn't help and it turned really ugly, would you be able to ignore any feelings you may have that you could've done more?
I don't know you or how you'd cope with that, if it was me I'd help but keep that help at arms reach. Don't invite her back into your life but if you're in a position to do so, get her out of there and into somewhere safe. Being a good person sometimes means doing things you'd rather not do and for people you'd prefer not to do them for.
You don't owe him for being there for you that was a choice he made as an adult. Don't waste your life because you don't like confrontation and just get it over with. His feelings aee his to navigate. You will get resentful and feel trapped and will hurt both of you more if you stay.
I understand your take but at the same time I wouldn’t equate sex to a representation of complete happiness. How far would you take that logic. That if someone desires to be sexual with someone else it means they aren’t happy with their partner. Would you say someone watching porn and pleasuring themselves to it being the same as not being satisfied with your partner. Both my wife and myself do that and we are aware of it. It’s not the same thing but I’m curious on how far you take that statement.