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You've got to be trolling if not please stay away from her before you coerce her & leave mental trauma
I seriously did that this morning before I left for work. It’s just a boost for ourselves. Had no intention to send it to my partner, just did it for myself.
Sometimes I just pop them up and look at them, share it with my partner in person just to tease him, sometimes I just delete them later in the day.
I feel like his “at least I don't hit you” is just “at least I haven't hit you yet.”
Honestly, her life would be easier caring for two children alone instead of the three she currently is.
YOLO. Make sure you have a few friends you can couch crash with if you need to.
Exactly. At that point he made me feel like he was fully committed and was certain about our relationship. So of course I wanted to express my gratitude to him. I’m not upset about the money I spent, I just wanted to feel like there was some sort of effort made
She needs to lean that she can't decide everything about other people's life. If she wants to break up with you over you applying for your license than good for you bc you deserve better
Hahah I was being sarcastic, I really don’t see her finding someone “better” though. I’m pretty cool tho
Take off the HaT!
I just don’t know anymoreif he likes me for me or he is just turned on. By my daily struggle
I would obviously have stopped if I knew it wasn’t consensual […] I’m uncomfortable, there are people downstairs
Well that turned out to be a lie, didn't it.
Good god he made a fucking rape joke to you? And then he had the unmitigated gall to say you're being too sensitive? That's some messed up shit right there.
I'm old and here's a tip for you. If he makes jokes about your trauma then he will never be the right person for you. Ever. I don't even care about the other stuff except to say that you're being gaslit over your objections.
The only people I know who say that other people are too sensitive are douchebags. Not just the hose or the bag or nozzle, the entire douche apparatus.
Lol you shouldn’t call him a “grown adult” in this context when he still lives at his parents house. Their house, their rules. Don’t want to follow their rules? He needs to move out of their house.
You're right but I also understand Fred. Love makes us do some stupid things . And especially when it's got to do with the onenyou love . That's why I'm suspicious of any and everyone lol anyone can be taken by anyone gay lesbian hetero it doesn't matter . So I'm gonna try my best to be the best .
Isn’t that fucking insane and selfish of her? She conned this man into marriage to have children and then sneaked her way off to have what she really wanted without guilt. A fucking narc
I on-line in my house with my bf and our 3 kids. He ALWAYS has to come knock on the door or try to come talk to me bc we have always been around each other. I have the same issue where I ask him not to bc that’s my ONLY time to myself. He still doesn’t respect that and I have never done anything. But best believe, I have a door that cannot be unlocked and I ignore all of them or play music if I don’t wanna be bothered. You’re allowed to shower, piss, or poop alone. Always!!
I really appreciate your comments, it's been really hot but what you are saying makes a tonne of sense as well…
Upsetting because a lot of what you said she was able to recognise as well, but I guess wasn't willing to put in that little bit more effort for what our relationship was supposed to stand for
Thank you so much again, I have a lot to think about with how I am going to be approaching this, still not sure exactly how but I'm glad I could get out of my own head and hear the perspective of someone who has had to grow themselves with this as well, thank you a lot
Flirting and sexting is not sex either. Still cheating, if those are your boundaries.
Everyone is taking what I said out of context. You’ve taken 3 comments and decided I’m immature?
Let me remind you that this is Reddit. Don’t get so hung up on what people say on the internet.
You’re also taking away from the point of the post. Your comment helped in no way for the OP.
My whole point was that SOME families (key word being SOME) have the dynamic like mine. Some don’t. It’s not a rule.
And it has nothing to do with attention on my baby? God that is a reach.
My mother is her own person. She wants to have a baby then fine. I won’t be happy at first but it’s nothing to do with me. I’ll be happy to help her with baby items.
Now why don’t you actually say something to help the OP rather than ripping into a stranger on the internet because their view doesn’t match yours.
OP is saying we either on-line in Texas or no marriage without even a willingness to consider other options. It's just “me me me my family me me me”. If they felt so strongly about it, that should have been discussed before engagement and it's shitty to serve an ultimatum on someone. To be it shows that OP is not ready for marriage because there is no room here for compromise.
Just a fyi but in the future do NOT buy from petland. They’re nothing but poorly bred dogs from puppy mills and backyard breeders. Do not support them. If buying a puppy “on sale” is even a thought, you shouldn’t get one. Or at least adopt; many shelters have young dogs. But just the fact that your wife has to hit a defenseless animal, she’s already shown that she’s an incompetent owner. She has no patience. That poor puppy deserves to be in a loving home that will actually take the time to train it properly.
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I would suggest that he is probably avoidant and distances himself as a reaction to risking having to express or admit his feelings. Perhaps he has had past negative experiences (possibly even from childhood) where vulnerability has cost him, or he has gone unheard. So rather than risk it, he avoids?
Agreed, it’s honestly because of the trying. When you’re with someone you call a partner and they’re down on life as long as they’re trying to get better it makes you want to keep trying too
Do you have any advice anything would be helpful
How to deal with him?
Break up
That'll be the ADHD, sorry lol
Good to know. That’ll be something to keep in mind. Thanks so much?
Thanks, that’s a good point. I think I’m prepared to have that conversation with him.
This is very true. And I can't help but get the feeling that the whole marriage idea is not what he has planned. I have hinted and, yeah, I don't get those vibes. Sometimes I feel like he's just wsnting to take me because it suits him in that moment. I love him… but his priorities are all over the place.
Fair enough.
It’s not your job to fix everyone else’s problems, so if people have problems you can’t cope with, it’s better for both of your sakes if you just don’t date them.
That's the thought I got. He played the long game.
The reality is, your ex-wife didn’t want a talent show, she wanted to show how much better she is than her friends. Some people can’t feel good about themselves unless they’re putting someone else down.
Sounds like you ex! Life isn’t a competition…
Ngl you making me nervous
Tbh that’s fair advice, thanks I’ll talk to her about it once she wakes up.
In a relationship I think we create the boundaries we have on our as a partnership, otherwise, why have a boundary?
Not everyones boundaries are the same though. Just state your own boundaries.
Cheaters always accuse the other person of cheating
Not worth your time. Just stop talking to them, don't try to figure out what's going on it doesn't matter, a valuable lesson to take from this is to take people at face value. Don't try to derive why they are or what there doing, life's to short and there are guys who won't be so flippey and indecisive, nothing is Sevier then a guy who is sure of what he wants. Jim wants to play the field, go sit on the bleachers.
Yeah, that a is a good point. She comes from a toxic relationship and she has told me this is the first time where she has ever been treated like she should and she isn’t used to having a relationship that isn’t toxic. I am not sure if that could be relevant but she had a bf who didn’t care what she did.
I can understand she wants to look nice when going out bc I do the same sometimes except I don’t have boobies to show off haha. I couldn’t say how she reacts because it has never happened when I have been around but she has told me guys that she knew in college had tried messaging her and she told them that she has a bf. She does post me on social media quite often as well. I would say it’s 50/50 between me and her girls and she only goes out if her girls ask she will never initiate the planning.
Her and I share the same interest in music so if there’s a show her and I will go to something like that and I do know her friends pretty well where even she will invite me only if her girlfriends boyfriends go. I am close with her best friend so my gf and her and I will go to bars sometimes. Her best friend on the other hand has put her in situations where she has left her with a guy while she talks to the other guy ( because her best friend is single) and my gf had told me that the guy tried to put his hands on her and tried to make moves and she told him right away that she had a bf she actually ended up calling me crying because she said she felt guilty but nothing happened. I do think her best friend wants her to be single with her but at the same time is happy she is happy with me.
We have actually talked about this and my insecurities and I told her what I needed and she said she will work on and she has been which makes me super grateful.
No matter what though she will get hit on and I can’t stop that and is actually a compliment towards me. I just am struggling with thinking worst case scenarios while she’s out.
I mean sure, but why ? Do she want you to cheat on her or something like that ?
If it scares him off, then you have your answer. If he’s cool with waiting, then this will just be a simple conversation. You could always ask about when he wants to have sex; go from there.
Wearing a thong as lingerie doesn’t require wearing it all day. A dude doesn’t have to wear a condom all day to use one in bed.
OP….. 50k dollars ain't shit.
Tell his wife you have proof of infidelity and you will help her divorce if she promises to give you a cut.
That way you don't lower yourself and still be a good guy just looking for a reward.
Your GF allowed a man to use her for what? Money? She was stressed?
Was she attracted to him? Isn't that worse? That she can do that for years with someone she isn't even attracted to?
Get rid of her.
If he did it with you, he'll do it to you.
Block this loser and move on. If he feels like he needs to reach out let him know you're one more message from messaging his fiancé everything. Don't fucking bluff anymore, life isn't a fucking game. If your fiancé was doing this I'd hope someone would have the balls to come forward and tell me I was making a huge mistake.
The ball is in your court.
What's likely to happen is your going to crack and have sex with him. But for now, you made a new friend. Congrats!
Im his second girlfriend
Your mother's employment status isn't really relevant to the situation. You can be unemployed and still contribute to the household.
You both are over 18 and your father has asked you pitch in by buying your own food. Something broke in the house and he's asking you and your brother to buy a new one. You do not have to pay for, rent, electricity, water, internet, phone, health insurance and whatever else. You have a pretty sweet deal here.
I would definitely pitch in to buy a new one especially if you use it often, or try to repair it if it's expensive.
But, from a quick Google search, most kettles are under $50. I do not think it's unreasonable to pitch in $25 to replace an appliance. $25 to keep the peace, and the free living space is kinda worth it, imo with the cost of housing right now.
Probably because if OP makes this much of a fuss when he doesn’t even know for sure what’s going on, she (along with the rest of us) shudders to think what a dick he’d be if she shared her true feelings on the matter, and how it might get back to the kid
Adopting an animal is a commitment for life. Anyone coming into your life agrees to take the whole package or they don’t. Boyfriends come and go. Your dog is your child.
How is asking you to split the expenses using you?
You know how many men would literally kill for this? Never change.
He sulked like a small child over a game and then physically restrained you to stop you from talking. Now he thinks he can lay hands on you to get you to do what he wants, he wanted you to shut up. I'd want him to fuck right off and never come back and I think you should too.
She’s not a good parent. Her daughter shouldn’t be her buddy. But. You can’t say anything. Not your place and she wouldn’t listen. Don’t make plans with her. If she’s in a group, just be polite.
He’s only been to a club once and said he didn’t like it because it was too loud. We do have a designated driver. Me and these friends have all gotten drunk with together before so there’s not really any surprises. The most reckless thing we’ve ever done was steal a busted traffic cone off the side of the road. Me and my friends planned this out and have safety plans in place. I gave him all the details of our plans. He’s not okay with me going to music festival without him either.
I’ve read some comments try sending gifts for Christmas and Christmas cards and birthday gifts out the blue
So then what is your suggestion? Should she have plugged her ears when he was literally having his therapy session right outside the door? Should she have started yelling “I can hear you!” so he walked away? Like tf? He chose to sit outside the door where she was sleeping. She didn’t move to hear better, she didn’t go down the hall to where he was.
You act as if she could consciously choose to be deaf at that moment to avoid hearing him. Jfc.
If you were in the other dude's position, wouldn't you want to know?
That's not any better love! If i say no my husband stops completely because he respects my body and loves me. That's what u do when u love someone! U dont still try to pursued them or get gratification. This is the type of dude that will tell u:
“Dont worry baby I'll do all the work”
“Come on I'll be fast”
“I just lost control because ur so sexy” when he continues after u say no and ignores u wanting him to stop.
And ultimately u wake up to him having sex with u while u sleep because he “cldnt hold it in”
HE IS A CREEP
Takes a big person to just walk away from being spit on. Family is way out of line and I'd never go back.
Gross. Just leave him. He sounds like he is insecure and projecting.
Why’s is your sister dating your ex! I’d be questioning that. I mean she deserves what she gets.
the fact that she even has this guys number still is disrespectful to you and your relationship with each other. you’re always going to wonder and you’re most likely never going to trust her and that’s no way to on-line. i’ve been there and i understand that you love her and how hard it’s going to be but i think for your own sanity you should break up.
also OP i recommend that you open up to at least one of your closest friends that you can trust, you deserve support and someone that you can talk to about this whole situation.
you’ve done nothing wrong, the blame doesn’t fall on you
insisted he would pay
Never let this guy buy you anything. He will think you owe him something, don’t give him that power over you. Don’t accept any gifts no matter how small or insignificant, just say no thank you.
Uh yeah…most people that got cheated on would still be with the partner that cheated on them, had they not cheated. It’s not rocket science or a betrayal. He didn’t do anything wrong in that regard. Don’t ask questions you can’t handle the answer to. The only red flag I see is him constantly bringing her up. She’s living in his mind rent free.
Well you could counter propose she does a financial budget plan to see if she can cut costs else where first. How much do you actually know about her finances? Enough to safely say that her higher income warrants you denying a lower rent? Also if she is your girlfriend, is she not sharing a living space/room with you therefore freeing up this extra room for a room mate?
I’m sorry. She lived in a house with a guy she couldn’t get along with for your sake and then you refused to allow her to ask him to leave? He couldn’t find his own place in 3(!) months? He took up a communal space? Was he at least paying rent? All the while you aren’t even there to help them navigate, but ran off so she could deal with the issue? Yeah, I’m sorry, but you are the AH here. I have no idea why you then felt the need to hand in your notice, because of all the “drama” you forced people into with your decisions.
Also, why are you expecting to stay in contact with your ex?
You have some extremely weird expectations of people around you and very little consideration how your decisions effect everyone around you. Work on yourself before involving other people again.
I’ve had many boyfriends and girlfriends before him, he’s the first one I’ve had though after turning 18 (we’ve been together for a year and a half) when I’m with him all I can think about is my love for him and how much he loves me in return.
Dude, it’s over. The talk was her letting you down gently. A lot of people get the “It’s not you, it’s me” talk, you are getting the “It’s not you, it’s the medication.”
She stays hours on end at this guys house, even overnight, and you are “scared of inserting drama”? She obviously isn’t. If they aren’t fucking already they probably will be very soon.
You’ve been together since she was barely an adult, people change over that time even without medication and mental health issues.
It’s time to move on. If you really care about her you would let her go. It’s time to talk openly.
It's not her fault and it's not your fault. The price of everything has gone up and it's impossible to on-line on a decent salary anymore. The money I was spending on groceries for the month I am now spending a week. Just keep trying your best. That's all we can do. Hopefully the prices will go down soon and we won't have it so hard.
GET OUT OF THIS
Yes, and insist the cat may be in danger, since he refuses to give him back, he may be covering for the husband killing it. Request to see it, or tell the police it may be animal cruelty quite possibly. This was the first thing I thought of. I'm very sorry.
Either
A)He's a controlling weirdo who needs to work on his trust issues
or
B)He doesn't think you two have enough “trips” together as a family or a couple. You say you encourage him to go places without you, is it possible he's feeling like ya'll never do anything “fun” together?
Like I said, work with her to swish them out with water and load them into the machine as she goes. It won’t take long to do.
I’ve stood up to my family many times and argued with them. I know that it’s completely unreasonably but its out of my control at this point because the events are held at my family’s house and I can’t force them to let my girlfriend come. I am entirely on my girlfriends side, but also I’m not ready to cut my family off if I can’t get through to them.
??i know he will age, but I meant my response to him aging.. what if my response keeps getting worse… and I can’t see him in another light…
Yeah I’m sorry but divorce seems to be the right move here. Obviously I don’t know him but you are absolutely too young and not ready for marriage or even a relationship it seems. You need to spend this time working on yourself cause it seems like you have a lot of attachment, anger and people pleasing issues.
Did it?
Because what you posted says that it said someone asked weeks before you met him if he was seeing anyone else. Did it even say he was dating her? Or was she going to go on a date with him and I guess wanted to screen him?
This is super weird haha