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He has not been posting pics for two weeks since she “blocked him”
You two are basically married without the label.
If $100 is generating a conflict for you two, I think its time to touch on the finances and rework your approach.
And if your partner pockets this $400 that was to be used for the children, he is kind of a POS.
This sounds like a good idea….
I know this is very off topic, I’ve had Reddit for an entire year and still don’t know how to make a post…. Do you?
There's the old joke that the fastest way to lose >100lbs is to dump the boyfriend.
But in all seriousness, if he was actually worried about your health, he'd prioritize your mental health and understand some weight gain with the medication can be expected. And even the weight you've gained is perfectly reasonable and you're still in a healthy spot.
Honestly, if he doesn't apologize and change his ways, he's not worth it.
And please don't cut cold turkey with your medications like others have said.
These scenarios are always very difficult. It’s easy to say that if you had known then what you know now you would have booted her, therefore that should be your preference now. But the intervening 10 years actually count. If you have been happy and fulfilled, and your wife has provided the partnership you’ve always wanted, weigh that present reality against the demons of a past you never actually experienced. The key is not to get hung up on the need to balance the equation: she cheated then, she must go now.
The big if is whether you can get past the betrayal because what you have is worth the pain, or not. While it is accurate to say that she has forced you to on-line a probable lie for ten years, it is an exaggeration to say that she has lied to your face every step of the way. I get the technical nature of her misconduct. But unless the topic comes up repeatedly, she is struggling daily with her guilt more than she is actively lying. A small distinction, to be sure, but it could be telling in the balance.
Whatever you do, as you appear to be doing, look deeply into your heart and project your future with her as you have come to know her against starting all over. If you can’t get past the betrayal, and I confess I would struggle with it, then don’t drag things out any further. End the marriage and move on. But if with the help of counseling you think it might be possible then try that first. Don’t get into the sunk cost fallacy, though. If you know you will never be able to feel the same about her or trust her again, don’t let the time invested this far be the determining factor. Cut your future loses and go.
I’m thinking of some presents I got that made me feel better when my emotions were keeping me from being who I wanted to be or accomplishing what I wanted to accomplish:
One friend gave me a little matchbox bulldozer when I said I felt like I couldn’t get past walls blocking my goals. It made me laugh, and feeling anything was a blessing.
One friend gave me a balsa wood model of a printing press when I had writers block (it actually helped).
One friend hired an organizational expert to spend three hours at my place to help me think about what was keeping me from feeling like my home was anything but a disaster. I was resentful when the expert first showed up, but by the time they left, I felt energized and helpful.
Once when I was being a determined hermit, one friend dropped off several containers of wholesome, hearty spaghetti sauce and several boxes of pasta. I felt really loved and supported without feeling suffocated.
I once came home to a bathroom filled with tea lights and the minute I walked in the door, the hard bath water started flowing into the oils and such that were prepared. I felt very relaxed and cared for.
I once came home to a clean, neat living room with music that he knew I loved playing. He was wearing a suit (very unusual), and there was a dress and shoes sitting on the couch. He bowed and made a flourish. I put on the dress, felt awkward, but he was sure, and he held out his arms in dance position, I shuffled in, and we swayed together quietly. It, like some of the others, started awkwardly, and finished wonderfully.
What does she love? What does she miss from her hometown? What has she wished she could do or where does she wish she could go? How can you make her life more pleasant or more easy or more magical? Can you be sure for both of you? Can you help her past her awkwardness? Her guilt? Her self-doubt? Can you show her how very, very, very much she means to you?
This is weird. You don’t own lotus flowers. She can put whatever she wants on her body…clearly she told you why she wanted it and it had nothing to do with you. I have a wolf tattoo and a few of my friends also have a wolf tattoo. It’s really not that deep.
Omg bro…. 1) it is not your fault and never fall for it. You can use it against her too that she was also not affectionate to you but you didn't go to cheat on her. That is a lame excuse. She is cheating from the safety of your back. 2) you were extremely polite she didn't deserve it, with the first clue that you saw that she was cheating you should have ended that marriage. 3) cheaters are never guilty of their actions but for being caught and she showed you this by saying to you in your face that she is sorry but then doing something despicable behind your back. She is a liar and a cheater. 4) if you have a traitor like that in your family what do you need enemies for? 5) stop accepting someone in your life that clearly doesn't RESPECT you. Ask her “how can you love me when you can't even respect me?”. Move on, you deserve better in life!!!
Right. Kinks should be discussed in detail before they're acted on. What's included, what isn't, safe words, etc. Being unable to consent or object because someone isn't sober should mean it's off the table.
I mean cnc has a ton of discussion over what does and doesn't mean “no”. Like saying no and it not stopping things is sometimes the point. OP wanted a safe word and he moved forward while she was out of it, with a verbal 'no', without a safeword, and then abandoned her when she was in pain and crying afterwards. He broke so many rules that it's indistinguishable from rape. Probably because he broke so many rules it WAS rape.