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I’m giggling like Ron fucking Swanson on snake juice ? ?
I clearly would not want a pregnancy if I chose three forms of contraception.
This is not over. There is no way that she changed her mind in 2 hrs. Right now, I'd be watching for shady stuff. She is probably just straight out cheating now, if she hadn't before. And it's a big “if”. Especially as we got the guy she wanted to fuck, to try and convince you.
I dont think I would have stayed together. And I'd be very wary of her now.
Good luck
Why tf you let her delete them text messages! You need those in court! As proof!
This wouldn’t be ok with me. I’m not interested in being in that situation where my girlfriend is smoking and drinking in some dudes house. Not my scene. To each their own I guess.
This wouldn’t be ok with me. I’m not interested in being in that situation where my girlfriend is smoking and drinking in some dudes house. Not my scene. To each their own I guess.
keeps posting about this same dude who cheated on her keeps getting shit on in a bad relationship “What in the world do I do?”
He needs to care about the things you want, the type of life you want. It doesn’t make him bad necessarily, but he wants a gf who’s 100% right here, right now. A partner who loves you also loves who you’re trying to be. You guys are just not compatible.
Do not weaponize his trust in you and his sexuality to “save face” with mutual friends and family. That could create loads of resentment and make co-parenting needlessly difficult.
I tell my husband this all the time… the timing is never going to be perfect. If we wait for everything in our lives to line up near and nicely in a row it will never happen. We have the most important things for raising a child. We’re financially stable, have supportive family and friends, good health, and a loving healthy relationship.
Women do love attention, don't they?
I’m not sure how to put my feelings aside if I feels like he doesn’t understand what I mean.
The guy literally deleted his Instagram, and that's still not good enough for you?
The other commenter is right, you seriously need to work on your insecurity. It's going to ruin your relationship.
Grow up and stand up for your gf if you care so much. You’re being weak. No one can force you to do anything
The amount of winks is absurd. This reads like a bad fantasy or a really dorky guy.
We've been in social settings and he's not all that talkative. he comes off as more introverted tbh. I actually approached him when we first met.
We eventually hung out with my friends who I've known for years (very healthy people) and they liked him too. he opened up but kept things very surface level. He's a good conversationalist.
I wonder if they are sexually attracted to each other so are dealing with that by reacting this way
So, you expect him to not shave his head because someone he’s been “talking” to for a couple months thinks it’s unattractive? It seems like he’s being so comfortable about it because he wasn’t asking you if he could shave it, he was telling you.
Speaking to photos of the deceased from time to time does not look abnormal.
A little disrespectful I think. Would you be cool if she hung out with guys she used to hook up with and still want her, she searched them on social media and continued to talk to them after you said they make you uncomfortable. Kind of rude dude. Some ex hookup vs my GF, in my mind bye bye hookup blocked and never thought about again.
Nothing! You do nothing! You’re not in a relationship with anyone, he’s not in a relationship with anyone, she’s not in a relationship with anyone. If you want to end it with him, fine. You cannot end it with him based solely on the fact he slept with your friend nor can you end your friendship based in that either.
nope. you're right about that. this guy is freaking dangerous.
OP said she is pre-op in his comments, which means she would intend to not have one anymore.
Trans women come in all shapes and sizes and variety. Some women like their genitals as is, some want to change but cant because reasons (finances, family, lover, environment, access to healthcare, etc), some have a surgery to make a vagina, some have a surgery to remove testicles but keep the penis, some enjoy their genitals but in a “look dont touch” way, some prefer topping, some prefer bottoming, some are switches, and so on and so forth.
If he doesn't like dick…its not inherent he'll be getting any.
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Just leave it alone.
?
Tread carefully bud. If you leave your co-worker feeling slighted she's probably not going to be too fussed about blowing up your spot with your prospective girlfriend.
I botched a bunch of similar situations in my early 20s. My exes practically unionized while I was away at law school and now I can't even go out for a drink in my hometown without the fear of coordinated retribution.
I mean there’s choices you do have and choices you don’t. But loving him won’t fix him, and you won’t be able to fix him either because that’s not how people work. Are you going to love him in 10 years when you’ve put up with 10 years of this treatment? Or do you see a future with an imaginary version of this man who you so far have no reason to think ever has or ever will exist?
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It lasted 4 months before I got blindsided again.
No. Come on now. There was no 'blindside' here other than you willfully, studiously and desperately blinding yourself.
You got on the rollercoaster, had a go-round and when it pulled up to the platform you said “Imma go again”. Repeatedly. And you're 'blindsided' by the ups and downs?
Dude.
Your body is going to change. You’re going to get older, grayer, saggier. Your ear and nose are going to sprout hairs that grow so long overnight you’ll be able to braid them by morning. You’ll have moles removed, maybe some surgical scars. You’ll get freckles and liver spots and wrinkles. One day, my friend, you will be one of the hard men in the gym locker room blow drying his sagging balls that swing below his gray pubes. And this is if you don’t gain a single goddamn pound.
Find someone you love so much that you still want to fuck them when they’re saggy and baggy and hairy and wrinkly. It’ll be different, of course. But if you think by staying slim she’ll always look young – and that you’re somehow exempt from the effects of time – you are very wrong.
Signed, married for almost 20 years, saggier and baggier and fatter and still having plenty of fun in bed with my saggy, baggy, fatter husband.
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The thing you're going to realize later on in life, or hopefully soon, is that your gf is just fine being around someone who treats everyone like shit = Your girlfriend is also the problem here. Your gf is not a good person if she's around someone like this and complicit in her behaviour and abuse of others and you. She doesn't care.
Learn to see this. It will help you.
Find someone who would break up with you before cheating… That's some low bullshit, there. Everyone has reasons for their actions, but actions have consequences. You're right, she showed no remorse. She even continued to lie when confronted. Someone who refuses to be held accountable just isn't worth the hassle
Yep, he probably is cheating….with a bigger girl.
Well I guess it depends on individual sleep patterns and preferences but I'd think most people would sleep better in their own bed. If you have to get up early it's usually nice to sleep as well as you can.
milk allergies don't make your heart cold. this dude is straight up lying to you
Well, you can’t plan these things exactly but within the next 2-3 years would be great but again, if it doesn’t happen in that time frame we can adapt
Addicts relapse all the time. She violated your trust in several critical ways and will very likely do it again in the near future.
The only course of action is to end the relationship. Unless you like being on a volatile roller coaster. In that case you really should end it.
>.Without going to into depth about myself, I am highly empathetic to a fault and very naive.
Givers tend to hook up with takers? Your bf doesn't love you, or is tired of you, given your description of his actions.
Vacuum and do the laundey more often ? Comb your hair when you wake up too.
One letter, max. If she doesn't respond, it's not meant to be.
Personally, I don't see this behaviour as “controlling”. To me, it reads as more of a boundary she is trying to set.
You may have a background in child care and such, but this is her kid. She, from what I read here, is just setting a boundary that she doesn't want that sort of thing talked about in front of her kid. You may have a lot of training that allows you to talk about these things in front of kids, but at the end of the day, this is HER kid. She gets to decide, within reason, what topics are appropriate around her 8 year old.
It doesn't sound like she's trying to “curtail” your dialogue because “she thinks you should”, but more because your dialogue is just not appropriate for her child in her mind. Her shushing you is not an open invitation to continue talking to her kid about topics that are out of bounds.
I'll take a chance and guess that the kid is 8 years old and the now ex is the bio parent and/or parental figure. If that is the case, I'd also be willing to guess that this is a difficult time for the kid too and your friend doesn't necessarily want to potentially poison the relationship between her kid and the ex.
Overall, to me, this reads as you are the one stepping over the line. This isn't a problem of your friend “controlling” you, at least not how I read this, it's a problem of you discussing certain topics in front of her kid. It's amazing that you want to help your friend, highly commendable, but imo this is not a problem of your friend.
He's assaulted you, repeatedly. Somebody that loves you would never do that. You deserve somebody that truly loves you and everything about you. That respects your consent and boundaries. There are plenty of potential partners out there that would rather die than treat you the way this awful bastard has treated you. Break free, work on you, find one of those guys.
why are some comments not showing up for me
How this a question? You said no and he forced you against your will.
Where to begin? Type of attraction may be different due to biological programing. This a stereotype that men choose partners with their penises while women do with their wallets. Keep in mind these are stereotypes though, and neither of them is favourable. Sex is a biological need and sexless marriages are falling apart from either side, because for both men and women not having their needs met and validates causes long term dissatisfaction. Please do not pretend women aren't affected by their arousal to physical features.
Going further about liking between sexes as a people. It is completely possible to have similar interests with your partner and find them interesting. In fact the best relationship is where you can just sit and talk with your partner without any need for anything else to enjoy your time together.
To throw my own piece, it is true that in term of interests it is far easier for me to find common ground with average man than average woman. This is also probably the case for most men… and most women (to find common ground within their own sex). So it's nothing burger really.
You aren;t attracted to “men” you are attracted to specific “man” . Whoever it might turn out to be he doesn't need to feel responsible for entire male-kind, nor should you hold him for that.
Of course reality is more complex but I only have so much room here and attention spans are short. Do you think anyone's going to read a fifty page explanation that's into account all the exceptions and complexities of human nature?
What I said was true enough to be useful in dating.
I’m already looking for the summer when the lease ends, just conflicted bc it was very hard to move here as a student with no license and no family nearby.
That’s usually when he says I picked a bad time to bring it up. This latest incident when he accused me of sabotaging was in the evening and we were getting ready for bed and an anxiety of mine just sort of tumbled out. I was looking for some reassurance and he told me I hadn’t considered how bringing up my feelings would in time make him feel bad, that I don’t consider his feelings before I speak.
When I pointed out he had said he wants me to be 100% open all the time and talk about how I feel, he told this was a bad time, he was too tired to talk about it.
If it was your son and she was walking around in a bra and panties would you really not care?
No. You literally are sealioning right now on EVERYONE'S comments. Why? Answer that.
I don't have to give you a script because people cannot be scripted. It is a conversation they need to have. It doesn't matter if it goes well or not. You can't just not have a conversation cause you think it's not going to go well. Grow up.
Give yourself some time.Focuson yourself now. You went through a lot and there is a lot on you right now. Once you are ready, you will start dying and you will meet your person. Please never give up on yourself and be your own number one who is worth fighting for.
I think the important thing to acknowledge is that you're not just mourning the end of the relationship, you're mourning the life that you imagined and had pictured for ten years. I really think you need to see a therapist to talk through everything you went through.
Bf learned his manipulation skills from the same guy who taught the “your vagina smells bad” guy.
This is psychological warfare, and so far he’s winning.
Leave her and move on. You get stronger everytime you come back from a heartbreak.
My ring was $10.50, ordered it on eBay. Was no different than the ones they sell at jewelry stores for $800+, granted that was a guys ring. But my wife’s ring was $450. Since have upgraded her with a $1k ring. Now we both just wear silicon rings.
The price tag shouldn’t matter it’s who is wearing it and who gave it to you. Just my two cents.
In general, I don’t think it’s a good idea to do any job or make any career change just because your partner wants you to. You’re not your partner. And although you want to see them happy, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be happy with the job just because they’re happy.
And spending time on the road with someone is a lot different than spending time with someone at home. You’re talking the constant stress of working together, the stress of being on the road, the stress of being confined together in the cab of a truck.
Plus, do you have the proper licensing to actually drive trucks? Commercial trucking (generally) requires a CDL which requires training and money.
Plus, what’s the work structure going to be like? Are you two both working at the same level for other employers? Or is he effectively going to be your boss/supervisor given that he’s more experienced? And is that power dynamic something you want to bring into your relationship? Do you think you and he will be able to manage that equitably? And what happens if and when you have disagreements on the work? Or one of you feels let down or challenged by the other? Or how do you handle it if and when you decide it’s not right for you?
All of these things are questions you should be thinking about and asking yourself. For what it’s worth, I don’t think it’s wise to integrate such a work dynamic into a romantic relationship. Is it possible? Yeah. But at the same time, I wouldn’t want to have to put energy into having to constantly disentangle work from romance.
Whip it out and do the helicopter
Fuck him! And I’m not talking the good time…
I was going to say the same thing.
If after 3 years and living together and talks of marriage he's not ready? If she has an abortion and waits for marriage to conceive again with him, he'll string her along until she's 40.
If OP wants the baby, have the baby then hit him for child support.
KEEP THE FETUS. DITCH THE BABY.
Well at least you've finally acknowledged that they exist.
All of my deeper issues have nothing to do with hair.
UpdateMe!
Be honest and be ready to make a decisions if she says she doesnt want to take it off.
Your choice is “can you online with it?”, hers is “can she on-line without it?” You both will prioritize and make your own decisions.
But “honesty” is key. Just make sure and approach it in a calm manner, as a preference of yours, not really as a demand.
It’s a change based on new information. You mistook intentional actions for an accident based on standard social norms.
Not sure why you feel it’s relevant or changes anything?
LinkedIn is a ghost town. Pay it no mind 🙂