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yeah yeah i know it's not healthy behavior but like… damn this went nuclear fast
Yes, let’s prioritize your school. Do you have two more years?
Just bear with it for two years. Don’t see them often, be polite, and if she tells lies about you, tell your dad, “Respectfully, dad, that isn’t true. I am sure Stepmom is just mistaken. I don’t mean to cause trouble so I am just going to correct facts and if you mind your business, I’ll mind mine.”
This was my experience! It took a year, maybe even a little longer for all the swelling to go completely down. Even though i didn’t have bruising or scars there was still an underlying swelling that made me look funny (kinda like i belonged in whoville). I actually thought i needed a revision and had talked to my doctor about one, luckily i waited it out instead of going through with it because once it settled it looked way better!
Don’t beat yourself up! We’ve all been there. My friends and I call this type of guy a “project”. You just need to decide if he’s worth it or not. It depends on other compatibility factors and where you are in your life that you’re willing to accept this or not.
Many of my male friends (or exes who were previously married) would tell me that they lived horribly before some woman came around and taught them better.
Me, personally? I can’t and won’t stick around for that; not in my 30s at least. I might have done it when I was younger, but you shouldn’t HAVE to. I’m just saying you might WANT to, especially if he’s open to it.
Its like you are living a single life and a room mate who you fxck sometimes.
Why cant you wash the laundry for the entire family, wash dishes for everyone and eat the same food like your wife and take care of the baby together with herr???. You sound so selfish here!!!.
For her birthday you can get her a necklace with a different girls name on it. You can wear your new cufflinks every time you wear a tuxedo. Who the hell wears is cufflinks anymore?
He was assaulted, would you say the same thing if it was a guy that punched a woman? Probably not…
This isnt just about sex its about taking a unilatetal decision wihout even tellin why .
She's cheating on you. If she's thinking about the other guy, it already over.
Not quite, she is vegetarian and agreed to do most of the cooking, im cool with that but I grew up eating meat so I am going to cook it for my self. The concern is what if kids see me eating meat, like it, and then start eating it. Its not so much that she would be made if they ate it, she wont eat it, but i would start being responsible for cooking all the time even though i agreed to all the other responsibilities instead. Its also like if im tried or exhausted and they get used to eating meat and want it will she be forced to cook meat and comfortable with that. So right now we are just trying to communicate and talk about it and figure it out
Mom probably already has a blender. It would be worth knowing whether he's still financially dependent in any way on his mother, because that would definitely change the tone of their relationship. Maybe your problem is just that he's too practical with you (hence the blender) and not that he's overly romantic with his mother. Five years into a relationship, even one that started in childhood, one would expect a lot of the romantic gestures to be gone. This would be especially true if you live! together and so have to contemplate more utilitarian things (like a kitchen appliance instead of an expensive piece of jewelry). It's unlikely his mom is competing with you to be his love interest. It does sound like you're missing the romance of the earlier days of your relationship. Perhaps try to kickstart that rather than blaming his mom. Good luck
You need to think of a path towards resolving this fight in a way that satisfies you both, and reach out again to keep discussing it.
I feel worse for her husband. The only reason she even got with her husband is because friend didn’t pursue her.
His story kinda makes me wonder if his wife has an eating disorder. This isn't me trying to diagnose but we often hate most strongly the things we hate about ourselves. Given that she grew up in the 00's where anything but heroin chic was demonized, it wouldn't be a stretch. I grew up around then myself and it was rough.
No, absolutely not – you contact a lawyer.
Don't waste your energy guys… This is just a troll who's posting this shit a lot.
This right here. I started dating my husband when I just turned 17. We're separating now — I'm 46. You can always choose to break up.
Whatever you say. Sharing phone passwords makes sense. Sharing other passwords really doesn't.
And if you really want to “hide” something, anyone with two braincells to rub together would just get a secret device (phone/tablet/laptop) that their partner didn't know about. My GF isn't stupid. If she wanted to hide something from me without raising eyebrows, she could do so very easily. She's not a moron that would do so on a primary device/account.
As long as you dont wake up, he will continue to make you miserable, use you and abuse you.
Its your choice. If you decide to stay, then suck it up.
The best you cand do to him is to tell him to go to therapy, and maybe explaining the situation to his parents… all of this after you dump him.
His main reservation is about my spending habits, but we both have financially stable jobs and make over 100k each and I am realizing I have a shopping problem and working hard to change that, but he just want to keep pushing a proposal out and I can't keep waiting. The “engagement” is the only source of conflict from my perspective. Thank you for the questions, I see how I am being unfair, but I either want to be done or progress.
Just from the title, I don't want you hanging out with her that much either- for your friend's sake.
So you are trying to fix her up with your brother in law? I mean that's fine, but it's still not in any way a guarantee that you don't have (or won't develop) feelings for this young, impressionable girl you are claiming is your “best friend” (by the way she's just a friend, a best friend takes years to develop unless you are 6 years old). Honestly i would look exactly as sideways at you if this were a hetero 18 year old boy you were suddenly putting all this BFF pressure on. You got one friend, that's great, but you can't just stop there and make that person your whole social life. Plus if she really is going to become family with you, you gotta let that friendship develop slowly for risk of burning out and not having a good relationship with her in the future.
OP is claiming she hasn't brought up the age gap. GF probably said something like, “I'm not comfortable with you being best friends with an 18 year old girl” and OP took it as only having an issue with the gender.
Because love is only one component. In addition to emotions, you've got practical concerns like property and other assets, care of children, inheritance. Hospital visitation and end of life decisions. Taxes and debt.
You can bind your heart to someone however you like, but once you start mixing the practical elements of life, there's a business element to it.
He didn't say it with compassion, but he's right. He's an extrovert and you're not. Once you decide that that is okay, you'll both be happier.
I have been a woman on dating apps. Being cautious and making sure we meet up in safe spaces is one thing, but this does not translate to being inconsiderate. She wasted your time by postponing then cancelling, when she already knew she would cancel.
She is also trying to make you feel guilty if you don’t agree to do this whole song and dance all over again, with a high potential of more wasted time. None of this has anything to do with self protection as a woman while app dating. It’s just rude, that’s it.
My best advice with dating as a whole, especially on apps: we are all on our very best behavior when meeting a new person, therefore the first few dates and/or interactions are typically this persons version of their best behavior. Take that in. If it doesn’t sit well already, it’s all downhill once one is more comfortable.
OP, do you plan on maintaining any contact with your child?
A person who loves animals doesn't poison an animal for revenge or to 'teach someone a lesson'.
Thats psychopathic.
u/ITTAuto
If you are in a monogamous relationship, and if you are holding hands with someone else to signal your romantic, emotional intimacy with them, then you have cheated. You're the one who needs to grow up, if you think it's okay to push boundaries as long as you never actually break through the final one.
You might be able to bury it, you might not. I’m not saying your parents aren’t in the wrong for their ideas of what parenting is. But they may not have truly realized how much of an effect it had on you. They could be wondering how come you were so closed off as a child.. And that misunderstanding can lead to resentment on both sides.
I would try asking them if you could sit down with thme to talk. Explain how you felt theoughout your childhood, what you needes that you never received. And hear their side. Tell them that you want a relationship with them. That you want to be close. That you’ve been longing for a close relationship with them but you’ve never known how to express that or engage in it.
Intimacy is awkward. But sometimes it’s necessary.
Where are the mind games? He already told you that he isn’t interested
Anyone who is offended by random porn usage in a relationship is either highly repressed, highly religious, or 18 years old. No one who has been in adult relationships should think watching porn is cheating.
Thank you! It's just mind-blowing to me because I wasn't expecting this at all, and I really didn't want a relationship!! He puled it out of me . . . but he has his own issues he has to deal with, I think I am just going to have to move on.
What do you mean?
If you see yourself living there and that's a place of interest then no one can stop you
She claims that he had no idea of her real age until three years into the relationship but I'm calling bullshit on that.
I only say that he is wonderful sometimes because I need advice on how to deal with the guilt of leaving or the confusion of this. Im thanking everyone cos I’m grateful. Im saying he’s wonderful because being nice is also a part of emotional abuse that i want answers for to help me when he uses it against me. Thats all. I don’t think he is actually wonderful.
Thank you. So sorry to hear what you are going through, it sounds terrible! Hope things improve for you soon.
I wonder if our cases would be considered some sort of domestic violence because this is a form of psychological abuse. My other roommate is afraid to even see or cross paths with her in the apartment because F30 may go and harass her.
It hurts but you are making the right decision. On one hand, you can take the view that you are free to do exactly what you want without your family having an opinion. They sound toxic in any case. Your sister only sees her POV and holds her beater bf above you. She has reaped what she sowed. She should tell police and move away from him. Parents can take kids. In any way, it isn’t your problem. You are thrust scapegoat in all matters. Remove yourself from their poison and negativity and enjoy your life and gifts with people who love sniff respect you.
Let him go and go see a therapist for all the damage he cause. This man is so toxic, you need to wear a hazmat suit to be around him.
seriously run, don't walk away from him
I want someone who is more affectionate for one. He used to be, but that was the beginning when he was trying to get me; now that he has me all the sudden he hates physical touch. Different little things that I want in a relationship, or that I want BACK in THIS relationship that we used to have. He just doesn't try to make me feel valuable anymore and it makes me feel lonely.
And it’s hard too because we aren’t living together, but I cook most days for us. And clean. And I don’t expect a lot. I just need some dang snuggles. I need him to tell me I’m pretty lol. It’s really not things that are naked or time consuming. I feel exhausted meeting his physical love language (making food for him lol) and I try to write him studies cure notes. But I don’t get these things in return.
Can you imagine how 4 more years of this? I think you have better options for the future and should explore the world for a happier life.
You are modelling a relationship with an unstable, jealous woman to your son. Is that the kind of role model you want to be?
Always been this way really. It's just bothering me more lately. I'm not sure what she is thinking in her head of our future and what will happen. It's tough that she also never wants to sleep together or stay overnight at mine.
I truly think he forgets which is why it bothers me so bad- he’s forgets a lot of things I tell him.. :p or maybe he calls regardless? That’s something I need to ask him… either way not ok imo
Maybe she hates you because you're desperate and pathetic excuse for a man looking to find random sex behind your family's back on reddit? That's probably why.
Nurses can get hit on a lot when they’re just doing their job. Patients in particular can confuse the care and attention they get as the basis for something more.
You don’t know if she’s married, engaged, has a partner or anything else about her. You’ve cast your line in the water and if she bites, well done, and if she doesn’t then under no circumstances do you go back and try again because that’s harassment.
As her partner, it is reasonable for you to expect a high level of consideration and respect from her. You shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable because she’s behaving a certain way around and with ex boyfriends. Telling her to cut contact is a bit ott and would come off as controlling, I think that would likely backfire on you. But you should definitely have a serious conversation about expectations and boundaries and how her behaviour affected you.
Amen. What are you getting from this relationship besides negativity?
Give it time. It gets better.
I would get legal advice and make plans.
Best thing you can do is give him the space and in the mean time work on your bipolar
Hope you get well soon, and some support and therapy will help you a lot. Three weeks is still very fresh, it's totally normal to still be shaken. Even more so as he completely blindsided you and is just a heartless, emotionless coward who sold you lies and fantasies. I really feel for you and I know you'll be able to overcome the pain, and to eventually heal. It will take the time it needs, but you will. xx