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Damn, I honestly wish it was a lot easier than that. I always heard that the healing time after a breakup is either as long as or greater than the length of the relationship. Going off of that logic, it may take 2 years before I stop thinking about it. I just feel used because she jumped out of our relationship straight into another and that guy has been there getting closer to me and her for a while making me feel like she had eyes for him for a while.
So you're with a
Liar Cheater Someone who's clearly confused about their sexuality
Do with that what you will. It definitely doesn't sound like a bright future.
That is going to be unhealthy when you find someone who you can trust, unfortunately.
It's fine to keep your private time private, although it's strange a women her age would think that men your age don't rub one out from time to time? You aren't hiding, you're being discreet. I don't need to know when and if my partner masturbates. He doesn't need to know when I do?
While it's a bit weird you say no to this but yes to golden showers it's still your choice and he should respect that.
Don´t do anything you don't want to do
Maybe one day you want it too, but until then don't do it
He's obviously not going to.
Oh please it was hardly a suggestion. Just give him what's he wants already! Yes and she make that decision for herself if she wants to or not. She doesn't need some random guy telling her to just do it already and completely ignore the advice she was ACTUALLY asking for.
Women don't need to put up with painful anal and weaken spinchter muscles just because their boyfriend wants it. Women are more than just objects to stick your dick into.
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Do you want to be with him? If so, your friendship is well and truly over.
She had a yeast infection once, in those months we didn't have sex. But it happened after using a public bathroom, so that probably explains it.
Start going with your friends again and set the same rules for her that she set for you. Fair is fair.
/u/throwra193243
OP, this (#4) is absolutely the choice you should do. That’s a really great compromise and has a best-case scenario of you starting out your child’s life with two communicative parents who have a healthy relationship outside of their role as parents, which benefits everyone involved. Trust me, couples therapy is so incredibly worth the time and money.
This is childish behavior and indicates you’re inconveniencing him, in his own mind.
People don’t just change this behavior and you’re now getting the opportunity to move forward knowing that if you’re cold, ill, recovering or injured… he is the type of partner that will get upset and passive aggressive once he determines you’re inconveniencing him or should be “over it”.
You can address it, you should do so firmly. Perhaps by stating you’ll no longer be riding with him, as he doesn’t care about your comfort.
Just know, any changes he makes, are likely temporary and only to get through this one issue. He will then default back.
The true fix for this is a sudden realization of his own or therapy. Not just setting a tone as a partner.
I’ve never told him. He says he can ‘smell’ it on me but I think it’s largely bc he knows if I have dinner with my girlfriends we usually split a bottle of wine, it comes out to usually less than half a glass per person if all of us are there. He tells me I reek of booze. I don’t say anything and just try to ignore it.
You are in absolute danger if you talk to him. I'm so sorry, but he is extremely abusive. There is only escalation from here, with you being more in danger every passing day, not less in danger. People in abusive relationship are the most at risk when they let the abuser know that they want to leave, you need to leave him and you need to do so with a plan, you need a support system. DO NOT tell him in private that you're ending the relationship, choose a public space. If you live! together first you need to move out and make the plans for that in secret.
The fact that he had an abusive childhood is irrelevant. Yes, it messes with your head. My father had an abusive childhood and he emerged from it being an abuser himself. Yet, he made MY childhood abusive, extremely so, and I didn't grow up to abuse other people. Adults are responsible for how they choose to treat other people and if he has trauma he needs therapy and it's not a reason to abuse.
There something about Mary…
Sounds like he lacks actual direction in life.
It's not really remotely risky if you just find a normal person who can use their super power of vocalization to convey thoughts. Seriously it's not very hot at all to talk about such a thing.
This dudes (ex)wife could've saved a whole lot of grief by just talking to him. This is 100% her fault.
Absolute moon man.
Bro. Grow up.
How do I pass her test then?
You reacted with obvious anger and then refused to leave. Are you really that oblivious to how absolutely nuts and unsafe you came across at that moment?
This isn’t about her being upset you were “enforcing a boundary” it’s about her feeling unsafe because of your anger and actions.
How do you not see that?
I mean, she’s an adult?
One of the biggest reasons we aren’t having sex often is because I currently have a medical condition that makes it painful for me. I have to get surgery to resolve the issue. I don’t have health insurance, and I can’t afford the procedure without it. He knows all of this. I try to have sex as often as I can, but due to my health, that’s isn’t something that can happen a lot. I know I need to work it out with him, that’s why I’m asking for advice on how to move on from the comment. I’d appreciate actual advice instead of “work it out instead of just crying about it”. Seems like you’re lucky enough to have never struggled with your self image and feeling desirable. Lucky you, but that’s not me my dude.
How am i gross?
This looks like a classic case of someone completely inept at understanding the kinds of things that can hurt someone.
You have a right to be irked….anyone that was programmed early in life by being bullied would certainly be on edge about anything like this.
For immediate reassurance, go live! and look at the various real women. None of them are the same.
You can say no. It’s a word. Are you feeling great now. If you can’t say no you can’t be in a relationship, you’re not mature enough.
Ick
What’s this, cancel culture coming from conservatives?
Yes, drop them and don’t even say goodbye. You have been humiliated and demeaned enough by this callous, selfish, ill-mannered pair. Every time you try to contact them now, they laugh at how desperate you are for their friendship, and they couldn’t care less.
And if the other friend won’t cooperate, drop him too. You don’t need the brother’s lackeys either.
Like she told she gets anxious about my where abouts and she needs to know what I'm upto and she won't stop me
You didn't read anything I wrote, did you?
Its not about putting the scissors on the counter instead of putting them away properly so she has to.
It is about stuff I specifically place somewhere for later (usually same day or next morning) because I need it.
I'm annoyed that she puts it away at all, even after I asked her not to.
I give up
I’ve spoken to her about it, about him coming to our family trips. She basically told me her relationship has nothing to do with me, and in other words, deal with it lol. My mom does’t take “boundaries” too kindly. She’s a little on the conservative side, considering also we’re hispanic. Boundaries and talks just aren’t a thing w our family unfortunately. So when the topic gets brought up, it automatically gets shut down.
Why are you not on the phone with the police after she stole your car??
I'm glad you left her. She definitely crossed a line.
You will find love. I have no idea what your body looks like, but even if 99% of humanity wasn't attracted to you, there are still 80 million people out there who would love you for you.
I recommend getting some counselling to help deal with your body issues. Good luck.
You're 39 and acting like a 19 year old?
???
Listen, genuinely decent men don't expect much. Just be grateful for him. Be happy to see him. I'm not saying be his maid or anything, but do little things for him once in a while like cook a good meal.
One of the reasons I love my wife so much is because she's just genuinely happy to see me. She smiles, hugs me, kisses me. She's just happy to see me, to be with me.
You can't change your past, but you can be better. Just love him, be grateful for him, and be genuinely happy to see him.
You begin by ending the relationship because it's only 4 months in, and he can't be bothered to respect your boundary.
PTL!! You got your Benji back, so, so happy for you!
Glad you are dumping the man, your cat is so much better than he could ever hope to be.
That's honestly the only thing I find weird about this if she sees him as a brother/ best friend tbh. Touchy feeliness is crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed, but her being happy to have a friend she sees as very close, or sending pics, or giving nicknames, is no different than what most girls do with their girl best friend.
I would communicate your feelings of jealousy to your boyfriend more, and maybe even with the coworker as well, and if she doesn't respect it, your bf should respect you by distancing himself a bit since she doesn't respect it. Reassurance could help you a lot more than the same stuff happening over and over again but you trusting your bf
My partner and I (both mid 40’s) don’t like to cuddle and be very hot and uncomfortable at night. But we can still be in the same (king) bed no problem.
I don’t think sleeping separately is bad per se, but good mattresses are expensive. Hell, I just spent a little over 3k on a new on last week!
I would be totally fine sleeping in separate rooms though. Sleep time is for sleep and I don’t want to be bothered. My best hour of sleep nowadays is the one between my partner’s alarm and mine when he’s out of bed, dogs are with him, and I can stretch out.