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What exactly would you expect your wife to do ?
Hunny I’m reading your comments. Time to create an exit strategy. Get the paternity test and slap him with child support. There is no way he won’t do this to you again.
What do you mean, she 'won't let you go'? Is she going to lock you in the basement? Are you wearing a shock collar?
You're an adult. Just go.
Don't ask, tell. If you are really concerned she would physically block you (WTF??) then your plan is a good one: Leave and send texts. “Mom, decided to go skiing. Will keep you posted.” If she blows up your phone, don't answer, don't reply. Don't let her ruin your weekend.
Yes there will be fallout when you get home, but at 20 it's time to not be so controlled by your mom. Also if you on-line with her, take steps to move out as soon as possible.
Break up with him!! He crashed you’re car and is trying to make it you’re fault, he doesn’t deserve you and you certainly deserve better. He seems like a dead weight dragging you down!!
The best thing you can give your child is to stand up for your views and to demand counseling so that you as a couple can deal with this issue together. It seems like your wifes trauma of loosing her parent has made her view others in quite a horrible way. It could be a fear of death or loss for her that makes it easier for her mind to categorize people with so little empathy and understanding. But if she isn’t going to deal with it she will risk harming your child.
Of course she's not ready to settle down, she's 22. Settling down in theory is very different to doing it in practice.
You have so much more life experience compared to her and it sounds like you might not be compatible sexually.
It's possible she's having difficulty communicating because 1) she's young and hasn't fully learned how to communicate in relationships 2) she's scared of what the talk could lead to.
Yeah, as a woman who wears super basic not sexy comfy underwear 95% of the time, I know sexy underwear is a huge turn on for my partner and his response when he knows I put some on for him is extremely gratifying.
I think framing it like “you’re making a choice not to put any effort into your appearance. If you want to get matches, you need to make better choices”.
Framing it as his choice to look the way he does rather than some kind of innate grotesqueness will allow him to hear your advice without getting insecure.
I appreciate it and agree. Just needed to type it out to vent a bit. Still can’t believe this is real
Show him the same level of respect he has shown you: Block him on everything and ghost him.
No im not. You guys are just creeps.
Just make them do it on-line, and have them spin around. You’ll almost certainly see cracks if they are deepfaking it.
The fact that you are asking internet strangers how to talk to the person you've been with for 10 years says a lot.
Do you two talk outside of couples counseling? Do you go out on dates or spend time together? Really, the right time to do it is as soon as possible. There is no way to really soften the blow.
Things you could do. Ask her if she is happy with how things are. Ask her if she still wants to get married. If she says yes, ask her why. Find out why she still wants to be with you. If she agrees that she is unhappy, just tell her that you don't think it makes sense that you two marry for the sake of marrying.
Stress to her that you want to focus on being good co-parents and that you have no intention of abandoning the child or leaving her with all the childcare.
Tell her that instead of spending effort planning a wedding that it seems neither of you are really into, it makes more sense to put your energies toward figuring out how to be good co-parents. And becoming friends again.
Tell her what you want. Ask her what she really wants. Listen to her. Be honest with her that you don't even know how to talk to her about really important things right now and that is a big problem.
It really sounds like one of the biggest things is that you two don't know how to talk to each other. Your post seems completely blank in terms of you having any idea what she thinks or feels about any of this. It also could be that she has checked out of the relationship for reasons you don't know. You've been together since you were kids. It's difficult to make that transition when people grow into adults in different ways. Also, sometimes these relationships keep us from growing, especially when we keep childish patterns in our relationships where we use passive-aggressiveness and teasing instead of just coming out and saying what we want, feel and mean. I hope you can start talking to each other for real. Make sure you really hear what she has to say. She may be becoming a different person than the one you think you've known.
Two years?? It sounds like you're the side piece, unfortunately
Dude, you guys are already in a relationship you just aren't fucking. So, make it official, get in shape, and have fun.
No way should you be covering bills for Zoe Jen you're not in a relationship with. And, even then you shouldn't cover bills unless you're married. You're giving me very thing and not getting anything in return. She has a pretty sweet thing going with you.
Seriously. Some parties across the world are anti education.
Either is a trauma response or its manipulative. Could be both. To me it sounds like she does it bc then the focus isnt on your issue anymore, you come to comfort her. Shes using you to regulate her anxiety about confrontation or conflict. Stop doing it. Let her go through it alone.
This is true .
I would draw the line at hitting her in front of me. But he’s a good friend. Someone can be a good friend and a bad partner to their SO
Have you told him that you don't want him to call when you have plans?
What was the movie?
Why are you not paying attention to a toddler who is awake? Do you not understand how FAST toddlers find trouble?
Put the game down while the kid is awake and no headphone while they are sleeping because you can't hear them if they need you.
Wow your husband sounds HORRIBLE!!!
Tell the coworker you’re going to involve the police if he doesn’t return YOUR cat. It’s not fair and square for your husband to give someone away that he has no claim over. YOUR cat. Also coworker sounds like a huge ass – there are so many cats in need of rescue but he’s trying to steal yours? Jfc Also threaten to take them to court.
Also divorce your horrible husband. I would never forgive someone who did something so awful to me. A cat isn’t a handbag that can just be passed off. THEY ARE LIVING, UNIQUE, INDIVIDUAL BEINGS! Your cat is probably traumatized from his experience and needs to be returned to you asap.
So sorry you’re dealing with this. Also your cat likely is not your dad reincarnate, but that doesn’t mean your cat isn’t a very special part of your family. All animals have souls and our souls connect to some more than others. You and your cat are connected.
Please update us. Good luck ;’( So evil!
Mate, this is not a relationship – it’s a scam. Report it, block them and get your money back. It’s fraud.
If you WANT to marry her, give her a list of goals you need to hit before getting married.
If you're not sure if you want to yet, address some of the issues in the relationship and see how she responds.
Bro run if you stay you deserve everything you get, because you would have been stupid enough to sign yourself up for it