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She sounds like my ex. You and your daughter are a package deal, she can’t pick and choose which aspects of you she keeps and which she rejects. I don’t advise tolerating this, it will leave you feeling crappy and ultimately damage your relationship with your daughter. Prioritise her.
Yeah, we walk away from men with kids, because we are either child free intentionally for reasons that are none of your business, or have already grown children with no interest in our wants and needs taking a back seat to a kids needs.
Tell her, and be prepared for her to walk away from you for being a lying jackwaggon
It's wierd he'd date someone he has no romantic or sexual attraction to anyone.
I'd just recatagorize him as a friend as move on to date someone else.
Choose your education and your future. Bfs come and go (especially at your age) but you’ll be a doctor forever.
If that’s how he reacted to that, there’s clearly more issues with him. This doesn’t sound like his first fiasco, and honestly, leave. You deserve more than this manipulative dude
If that’s how he reacted to that, there’s clearly more issues with him. This doesn’t sound like his first fiasco, and honestly, leave. You deserve more than this manipulative dude
Nah don't feel bad, tough love is good, he needs help.
Dump him. It is not up to him.
She wants like a relationship without the labels.
She's. Not. Right. For. You.
You try very naked to paint your husband as the bad guy in your post. You conveniently evade saying anything about your sister’s behaviour that would make your husband not want her around your home. I think you need to value how your husband is feeling. You can support your sister while still maintaining boundaries from your husband. Your husband should be the top priority, you are not married to your sister. I think you need to evaluate your feelings and need to help your sister while ignoring your husband’s needs. Your marriage won’t last if you keep ignoring this.
Uh, I mean it's definitely fucking weird, but I GUESS they aren't actually related? He definitely should've talked this over with it though.
Sorry that's what I meant, threats that she will hurt herself etc. If she breaks down and wants you to console her that is another talking point that she cannot be codependent on you to coddle her, you are not a caregiver to her but a partner.
I just walked away for good. I called her this morning and asked her to put her camera on and give me a tour of her flat to see she loves alone and she didn’t want to. So I ended it. She’s hiding a lot more and I’m not interested
It is not your husband, it is not you and it is not about you. Please stay focused on the post and avoid inserting a completely different context.
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First of all I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this and facing issues with your kidneys. That’s tough. Try and go a bit easy on him. He went to visit his mum before she went away, so it’s not as if he was away to the pub with his friends or nights out etc. There will be loads of hormone changes in your body just now which can make you depressed, anxious etc so you will be feeling it more than he is. Hope you’re feeling better soon.
Girl do you not know the meaning of Feb?? What were you expecting lmfao
Yeah i don’t think so either. I’m gonna break up with him if he ever comes back but I’m just worried about him I just really care about him
& Yes I know it’s a big problem I told him and talked to him about it
Nope. The accident isn’t the reason to dump him. It’s that every opportunity he has had to take responsibility for his mistake since he has tried to weasel out of.
He is showing you that he, in fact, has very little interaction in doing the right thing.
INFO: what is the importance of this bar? Are you drinking a lot at the bar? Are you meeting up with specific friends? Or are you going alone? Is this an after work kind of thing or a thing that goes all night? What does it mean to have a community at a bar? Why does he say it’s all single guys?
I’m confused. There isn’t enough info here to really say anything. Because it could be he’s being controlling or it could be you’re being irresponsible and he’s worried. I have no idea at this point.
Yes, what do you gain from doing that?
What do you think ??♀️
First, you have to decide if you want the baby and if you would be willing to be a single mother.
Also, if you want kids, don't be with someone who doesn't want them.
Good luck. Fingers crossed ?
Yeah, I was also going to say this. From the context it sounds like OP's wife is an alcoholic / has a binge drinking problem. Does she always drink heavily at social events?
Look, no one can force you to stay. You made that choice. They’re not the ones being cheated on or unhappy.
The choice is yours now like it’s always been. And there are no short cuts to leaving a relationship. You just do.
She wears the jeans all day out in public gets mud and dirt all ove them then puts all that all over the bed at night
Time for you to get a new girlfriend. ?
At some point for any chance for you both to move forward, he'll need to admit to himself and you just how dumb that was
You’re trying to be supportive of a dude going out in public and calling you his “new bitch with a fat ass”?
I need help understanding why lol. He is talking shit. You don’t need to support that.
Is being a great person and loving him solving the problem? He's also equally not solving the problem.
Being nice isn't enough.
There is a big difference between loving someone and being able to have a relationship with them. It takes more than love. You could argue that if love was such a motivator, he would be equally fighting to fix these issues.
Mutual relationship needs must be handled.
But you are both settling for a poor sex life at 20+.
It's not about imagining a life without him. You had a life without him for 17.5 years. You will survive and you will go on to your next relationships. It's the cycle of dating.
Or you will eventually have a dead bedroom roommate. If you don't already start to feel it now?
I'm so sorry this happened! If they were both drinking why does “jack” remember so much is it possible that it was a fantasy of his? And it didn't actually happen? Or is your fiance not telling you everything? Either way Jack is not your friend he suddenly realized he liked your fiance when u left? ? He was never a friend and you and your fiance need to put up naked boundaries. You didn't even get a real apology you a TEXT! That is in no way sincere.
I would take a step back if I were you, and ask yourself if you want to build a life with someone this stupid. I know that you love her, but objectively speaking do you respect her? Do you trust her decision-making abilities? Would you let her make decisions about your kids' health, or your life insurance, or your investments? It is grueling to have a partner you can't trust to be a partner, and who you have no respect for.
right, let’s crush a 2k computer you need for work and see how you react after being pinned down.
Dude's projecting
Thank you for your input. Your second part has helped me view it from another perspective and perhaps the questions are a bit too dramatic and it doesn't mean that he doesn't care about me. During the past 8 years, I've talked about my parents bad marriage and express lack of trust to men growing under this environment, and he is always honest and open with his feelings when I speak of my past, but to marry me, no. Maybe jokes but anything serious or initiated by him? No.
I’m an architecture major and he’s a construction management major both schooling full time
Thanks. No joint accounts thankfully.
I plan on talking to the landlord tomorrow. The only issue is that she can't afford the place by herself, so the landlord won't let me get off of the lease.
Wat
As such, I'm open to paying for her to use some form of financial coach or advisor to help hold her more accountable and teach her without having to constantly feel like the parent. Also hoping that coming from someone other than me she will be more willing to listen.
She's not the one who needs to be more willing to listen. You are.
You're complaining that you don't want to “constantly feel like the parent” but you're still literally looking to parent your partner, you're just looking for a proxy to do it on your behalf. You're using phrases like “hold her more accountable” and “teach her”. It shows complete disrespect for her autonomy and agency as an adult. So let me try on her behalf to explain to you one last time what she has been trying to tell you all along:
She doesn't want you to hold her accountable. She doesn't want someone to teach her how to manage her money. SHE IS HAPPY WITH THE STATUS QUO.
YOU are the one who is unhappy, and while I understand why, what YOU don't seem to understand is that you have two options going forward, and neither of them involves “holding her accountable” or “teaching her” to manage her money.
She likes who she is, she doesn't want to change, and if you continue to push her you're only going to ruin your relationship slowly and over a long time. So your choices are as follows: 1) Accept her as she is, a spendthrift who will never be particularly responsible with money and will likely continue to rack up credit card debt, and deal with the stress because you want to be with her, or 2) break up with her because you have incompatible financial values. But don't waste your time hiring someone to parent her on your behalf. She's already told you twelve ways from Sunday that she doesn't want that, so all you're going to do is waste your money, insult her, and ruin your relationship further.
What advice do you have for having this conversation?
Don't have it. It's patronising, and you've already had it multiple times, and she has already made her feelings abundantly clear to you. You're not listening. Now you're just being controlling. Frankly, you should just break up. You say that you love her, but you don't; you love an idea of who she could be once you've “fixed” her, and that's not who she is or wants to be. So just make like Elsa and let it go.
I respect that, however he hasn't even attempted to be friendly. Great advice though ?
Even if a child is conceived of love, it doesn’t mean both of you are ready to bring a child into the world. Raising a child is expensive. Insurance, cost of daily care (diapers, formula,etc) and mentally it’s tiring (lost of sleep, balancing your own life and more).