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Model from: co
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 2001-09-25
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Sorry, if you're an attorney you definitely know more about this than I do, I didn't mean to give legal advice! I just don't think you can convince your ex to see things the same way as you do, even though I think you're clearly being rational about this situation (and he's, at the very least, moving way too fast!)
Is there no legal grounds for renegotiating a custody agreement when your ex is moving a literal stranger into the house they share with your child? I'm genuinely asking. I distinctly remember not being able to see my dad for about a month during my parents' divorce because of a similar living situation issue, but I was honestly too young to know how or why it was happening.
For what it's worth, as a child of divorce, it sounds like you're cultivating a really healthy, supportive co-parenting relationship on your end, and that will become apparent and pay off in making your son a more well-rounded adult. My mom was the same way, even though my dad was petty and immature and it took me a long time to realize.
Regardless, wishing you luck
It seems like you have a friend with some benefits and you may be over reaching about the depth of your relationship. If you don’t want someone on the other side of the planet sending you sexy pics of their nights out (I don’t blame you) its time to move on and find someone who will value YOU and appreciate what you do for them
I’m asking for kindness and understanding advice, not criticism and insults and disrespect.
I am a victim, in plenty of ways. What’s wrong with that? I get chastised for writing too much so i can explain the context better so people dont make superficial assumptions and judgments, and then they use that extra information to nitpick and be even crueller to me.
I have never encountered so many awful people in one place before, but where else am I supposed to get advice from a reasonable pool of people who can be objective and use their own experience or education on such matters to help?
This smells like deliberate manipulation.
Okay she may be in love with the idea of marriage, not understanding the effort and consistency behind marriage itself. Forcing someone to choose you is not the way ! You don’t have to live! together before you get married. I would not suggest getting married at 19. Honestly, late 20’s, early 30’s is more time to get settled into yourself, and figure out who you are… Yes, 9 months is a bit soon. I dated my ex husband for 4 years before marriage we met when I was 19, he turned 20. In hindsight, I wish we had a long engagement for more years, because we loved the idea of being together because we were in a long distance relationship for two of the four years , we were lonely and felt marriage would help. It was hot, and took a realism we never developed. I’m the end lose of twins and infidelities broke us. I don’t regret marriage, just that I got married at 25. I plan to do it again one day, just not in a hurry to because I know now, it’s about sacrifice and true commitment not to run when it gets nude.
20-something girl*
Communicate that it make you uncomfortable and makes you wonder if she is ready to move on with you.
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Fuck his parents, who cares? Don’t cook for this shmuck. Cancel dinner, get your sleep and look for your own apartment to move into asap. Because this guy is a jerk.
Tell him your feelings.
If he wants to keep things as they are, then he doesn't have feelings for you.
He might tease you about catching each other – is it to keep you around longer?
Now, that’s not going to happen. That’s the only hill I’m going to die on.
Straight up, you seem like you have your shit together pretty well for being 20. Your boyfriend on the other hand is a train wreck looking for places to happen.
He borrowed your car to go joyriding in the snow, then did committed a hit-and-run with your car that wrecked your car. And now he can’t afford to pay for it. And while you say he’s a relatively good driver, he’s got a court date coming up where he’s going to lose his license. Girl, he is not even an ok driver.
And now he’s blaming minor cosmetic problems on why it broke when HE CRASHED IT? And he feels entitled to use YOUR SAVINGS to help him pay off his debt?
Definitely dump him. But, dump him because he’s a user. That is, he’ll just keep using you for his own benefit until you get tired or fed up. As soon as you start saying no, he’ll move on to his next target.
I’ve known guys like him my whole life, and there’s nothing but wreckage in their trail.
Sounds like to me you are not in any zone at all, you should probably leave her be and move on.
My advice is to move on from her. She's not into you the way you are and asking for distance is a sign you have crossed a line she didn't want you to cross. Learn from this.
I am confused you say you were excited that he initiated recently, why have you not initiated since August 2022? Why are leaving it up to him and obviously rejecting him at closer to 99% not 90%. You need to work out why you don’t want sex with him. You make it sound like he is a sex addict and your agency is being ignored when in fact he has accepted no from you for over 6 months. You are correct that you have a say too, the problem is almost all you say is no! You say the relationship is perfect except for this one thing you are wrong this may be meeting your needs but his are being actively ignored by you! Why did you go back after breaking up what does he provide you with that because clearly you are not reciprocating. You need to let him go as you clearly don’t care about his needs and only care about your happiness, he is clearly communicating with you and you call it overreacting. The red flags from you are overwhelming. He needs to grow a shiny spine and leave you!
This is tough because in one sense its good to “chase your dreams” but eventually you have to be realistic with yourself.
I mean you guys are into your 30s, usually when peoples careers star taking off, settling down. If you want to progress the relationship into something more mutual, then you are going to have to have a talk with him.
At the end of the day, a lot of it is luck, skill, and previous existing socioeconomic factors like family wealth, education, network.
Could his idea take off and be worth millions of dollars in the future? It could
Could it not work out? yes, and in this case there are a LOT of risks. Did he go to college? is he able to have a back up plan? These are things you need to talk to him about.
It is your choice. It is a gamble, of course.
I mean, he doesn’t have to be the one providing the sperm. There are sperm banks for that. Then he can adopt that child.
It’s the look that bothers him.
Great example about the mustache! My bf actually changed his facial hair 2 times to the famous ‘porno snor’ because he thought it was funny. I hated the look, but it just doesn’t bother me what he does with his looks as much as it bothers him what I do with mine. He was so amused with himself, I thought it was more important to see him happy with himself and his looks. Because it doesn’t bother me, I apparently didn’t state my opinion about it so he actually didn’t know I hated the look. When he knew, he shaved it off 2 weeks later. That’s also an argument of him: I needed to look at something for 2 weeks, but he needs to look ar something and be annoyed with it for over a month.
Thanks for your input btw!
Take the trip. It’s ridiculous that he is trying to stop you from a long weekend with friends. It is healthy for relationships to have space on occasion, including time without the child or the spouse. Offer to him that he can propose a similar trip where you will take primary responsibility for your baby. If he doesn’t want to do that, it’s his choice, but you both deserve a short break from your respective roles.
No matter what way it was this is a betrayal
She doesn’t feel any guilt for almost unaliving your daughter. She feels like she was in the right because you did xyz.
Your gf is an abusive person and you are brainwashed into thinking it’s all you. Please get your daughter away from her before she hurts her.