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The relationship they have with either parent matters. But often people prioritize the opposite sex parent because for example, in hetero relationships, how a woman relates to her dad can impact how she relates to all men, like her boyfriend or husband. Vice versa for a man and his mother. If you want more in depth info, google attachment style, as that will flesh out the idea in a much deeper sense and will give you an idea of how it impacts the person as well as which relationships are healthy and which ones aren’t.
Also keep in mind, that just because a person may have a bad relationship with a parent doesn’t guarantee problems, and a good relationship doesn’t guarantee no problems. It’s just something to keep in mind. People can over come adversity, just as much as people can be shits even if they had a great family.
You break up with the abuser!!
Your reason for not getting a vasectomy is “we might not end up together, and in that case I will go have kids with another woman”. I’m shocked that you are shocked she doesn’t trust you, my guy.
Not saying you have to get a vasectomy, it’s your body. But you’re sure not showing commitment, you’re literally half-way out the door. Can’t imagine this vibe is very good for reconciliation.
So many people died or are disabled for their lufetime because of people like your ex. Or your friends who play it down and since they were partying eith him, didn’tstop him driving drunk. Of course they see no problem with it. Maybe they also drove home drunk.
It is great that say “i can't accept such behaviour” and stay to this. So often people take so much awful behaviour just because “but i love him/her…”.
Cut those people off. You are young with great principles, you will find better friends!
Don’t put yourself through this again. You know deep down that you’re always going to be his “safety”. Is that what you want to be? I sincerely hope you love yourself enough for the answer to be no. There’s so much better out there for you and he isn’t going to change if you stay together. What you’ve seen is what you get.