my experience; if you have to beg someone to buy you flowers, it’s not a good relationship. if he wanted to, he would.
i would just focus on trying to get your money back at this point. this relationship does not seem good for you. i promise there are other people out there who will actually cherish the time they spend with you.
also, here are some flowers, because you deserve them: ?
best wishes love, you will find someone better for you ❤️
Consult a lawyer about your state’s laws. In some states your spouse inherits a Fiduciary % even if you try to write them out of the will, some states are common law and go 50/50 split even if you never actually got married. It’s all over the place. So there’s the legal part. See a lawyer. Then you asked “How would you feel?” My experience was this – I’m the woman here. I joined the Army to get on my feet and married my husband during my 1st year in the service. He was a civilian. He worked occasionally, part time, for a couple of years before right out retiring without announcing it. He brought a house to the marriage that he was about to lose. The mortgage was almost in foreclosure, but with my steady paycheck the house was rescued. He did not put my name on the house and I kept silent. I waited, patiently, for him to decide on his own that my name should be on the house. He would have lost it without me after all. When we had been married 10 years I let my feelings be known about my name not being on the house. By that time I was beyond outraged about it. I saw him differently over it. I believed it showed me how he actually felt about me. Our marriage did not end well.
I'm getting close to that point. Her tantrums are horrible and the way she reacts to things is like a hormonal teenager. But she is also pregnant. and idk how long I go trying to keep her happy before I break. I'm going to end up just baby daddy #2. Don't get me wrong I'm not innocent in our arguments, and the red flags have been waving since the start. But everytime I pull the trigger and dump her. she manages to convince me I was crazy and that it was my fault and Im left with nothing to say.
I dated someone for four years about 14 years ago. By about 2 years in, I knew that we weren’t right for each other (for me, meaning that we wouldn’t marry one another) but we kept dating anyway. We also broke up once and got back together. It was very difficult to do, but we did end it finally. If after 4 years, you can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with the person, married or not, I think it’s best to split up and move on, as very hot as it can be to do so. For me, I found my wife an few years later and am very happily married. She is amazing and I never knew I could get along so well with someone else! Best wishes to you!
Why are you so worried about THEIR happiness? What about the happiness of your kid? Your child deserves to have a father figure in their life, let alone their REAL father. I feel like you’ve got your child’s happiness in the palm of your hands and you’re deciding to create traumas for your kid in the future if you don’t introduce them.
Reserve yourself more. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
While, dropping everything for someone may be a nice gesture, it can quickly make things one-sided and be easy to be taken advantage of.
For example, you're about to go on a 3rd date with someone. You initiated and planned the first two.
You tell him: I've planned the last 2 dates. I'd like it if you can plan the next date. I like surprises!
Him: I don't know… I was hoping you were going to plan it…
Connections like that you want to avoid. Making yourself 'unavailable' in a sense, forces the other person to step-up. Otherwise it can confirm a reason to take your exit.
The family one: I think you could actually challenge that about your family members.
Honestly I think in ops case, her situation is bad enough that I would advise a closed in house therapy until she is stable enough to on-line on her own.
Having fits where you want to off yourself and even hurt bystanders is outside the realm of weekly therapist appointments.
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He is the one who has been reaching out to me, calling me, sending me money. Should I delete the messages to her? I feel the need to defend myself. I know he will lie and twist it anyways but I included screenshots to hopefully prove that I am being truthful
You have no emotion towards him period. If you single imagine the possibilities. This can’t be real. You support him, you support him cheating. These are the two sides.
Your side – work/ sole financial support/ alone / lonely/ you spouse cheating on you/ you not enough he wants sex with other people/ STD / possibly future partner children you will pay the child support on/ him taking your house and leaving
Him- has his cake and eats it too .. with a 21 year old … in your bed
No it sounds like he is following her around at family events and creeping over her. Why is the family allowing this and shaming her sister instead of the pedophile harassing her? WTAF?
Only on-line friends, which arnt really real. And I work from home so im literally just alone 100% of the time unless he puts in an effort to take me out.
First of all calm the attitude. Second of all, you’re concerned to bring up this specific thing with your husband because you’re worried he’ll bring up your past mistake and not forgive you (which either sounds manipulative or you really fucked up or both) as a result to be able to talk to him about it you need to fix the thing that prevents you from talking to him about it and to fix it you need therapy as a couple.
She's going to keep finding excuses to contact you. You do not owe her the courtesy of a response. You might want to start documenting your interactions (screenshotting texts, etc), she seems capable of some real nastiness. Better to get ahead of it if you need a restraining order or to protect yourself from accusations.
I get it. I think I’m too old for that kind of love :). Love is not a feeling for me, it’s an investment I make into another person. And I only make that investment when someone invest in me. Anything else, is just fantasies, liking or admiring.
You're 18 and it's your first time doing this, you're probably going to be a bit awkward. You'll have to embrace that.
The thing is, she's the same age as you and is also probably a bit awkward and naive. I wish I had realised, when I was a teenager, that women aren't a different species. They're not waiting for you to slip up to mock or upset you, they have the same fears and anxieties you do.
Just go for it, be honest, be polite but be straight forward. She might reject you, but I promise you it's not as bad as you feel.
Yeah, unfortunately I am going back to school and this is the only way I can pay for it. I currently pay $1300 per month for my apartment and electric bill. When I move home I'll only be paying my mom $700, so I have more to put away for tuition. I would really like to avoid it but I'm having a very hot time saving anything each month as it is, and the $700 should really help my mom. I'm not the same person I was when I lived at home and I think I will be alright, but I'm not putting up with any of her shit.
I think the guy absolutely got his balls cut off early in the relationship and only now gets to realize it is not ok. Probably masturbated for an year while in a sexless relationship – what a sad mess that is.
Sounds like he's generally a blunt person. I would say that you should talk to him about your sensitivity about your nose. If he's a good person, then he'll go “oh okay, no big deal” and let it be.
If he can't/won't do that, then you may have a bigger issue about communication/respect/boundaries.
If he's literally not having any symptoms in front of others, for instance, covering his ears when children are crying or leaving because of a stubbed toe, then I would definitely call him out on it. Perhaps there is something else there that he enjoys out of the caring response he gets from you that he never got from others.
He may be exaggerating his symptoms but he may also be better at masking his condition in front of others. But you may also be too good at masking your irritation and skepticism of his condition, which he may be using for his own gain.
More info: travel once a month or so. Again I have rent to pay.
He treats me super well othwrwise
my experience; if you have to beg someone to buy you flowers, it’s not a good relationship. if he wanted to, he would.
i would just focus on trying to get your money back at this point. this relationship does not seem good for you. i promise there are other people out there who will actually cherish the time they spend with you.
also, here are some flowers, because you deserve them: ?
best wishes love, you will find someone better for you ❤️
Property Sex
Consult a lawyer about your state’s laws. In some states your spouse inherits a Fiduciary % even if you try to write them out of the will, some states are common law and go 50/50 split even if you never actually got married. It’s all over the place. So there’s the legal part. See a lawyer. Then you asked “How would you feel?” My experience was this – I’m the woman here. I joined the Army to get on my feet and married my husband during my 1st year in the service. He was a civilian. He worked occasionally, part time, for a couple of years before right out retiring without announcing it. He brought a house to the marriage that he was about to lose. The mortgage was almost in foreclosure, but with my steady paycheck the house was rescued. He did not put my name on the house and I kept silent. I waited, patiently, for him to decide on his own that my name should be on the house. He would have lost it without me after all. When we had been married 10 years I let my feelings be known about my name not being on the house. By that time I was beyond outraged about it. I saw him differently over it. I believed it showed me how he actually felt about me. Our marriage did not end well.
I'm getting close to that point. Her tantrums are horrible and the way she reacts to things is like a hormonal teenager. But she is also pregnant. and idk how long I go trying to keep her happy before I break. I'm going to end up just baby daddy #2. Don't get me wrong I'm not innocent in our arguments, and the red flags have been waving since the start. But everytime I pull the trigger and dump her. she manages to convince me I was crazy and that it was my fault and Im left with nothing to say.
He does realize that his load determines the sex of the baby, right?
NTA, and talk to a divorce lawyer.
I dated someone for four years about 14 years ago. By about 2 years in, I knew that we weren’t right for each other (for me, meaning that we wouldn’t marry one another) but we kept dating anyway. We also broke up once and got back together. It was very difficult to do, but we did end it finally. If after 4 years, you can’t see yourself spending the rest of your life with the person, married or not, I think it’s best to split up and move on, as very hot as it can be to do so. For me, I found my wife an few years later and am very happily married. She is amazing and I never knew I could get along so well with someone else! Best wishes to you!
Why are you so worried about THEIR happiness? What about the happiness of your kid? Your child deserves to have a father figure in their life, let alone their REAL father. I feel like you’ve got your child’s happiness in the palm of your hands and you’re deciding to create traumas for your kid in the future if you don’t introduce them.
Reserve yourself more. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships.
While, dropping everything for someone may be a nice gesture, it can quickly make things one-sided and be easy to be taken advantage of.
For example, you're about to go on a 3rd date with someone. You initiated and planned the first two.
You tell him: I've planned the last 2 dates. I'd like it if you can plan the next date. I like surprises!
Him: I don't know… I was hoping you were going to plan it…
Connections like that you want to avoid. Making yourself 'unavailable' in a sense, forces the other person to step-up. Otherwise it can confirm a reason to take your exit.
The family one: I think you could actually challenge that about your family members.
Just saying if she values that 500k+ dollar house more than what sounds like a currently stable relationship she ain't the one bro.
I’m not sure I’d agree with that, since she’s in a two person single income household.
Wait it out, you what see the end result for about a year. Focus on what you love about her and look into her eyes more than at her nose
Honestly I think in ops case, her situation is bad enough that I would advise a closed in house therapy until she is stable enough to on-line on her own.
Having fits where you want to off yourself and even hurt bystanders is outside the realm of weekly therapist appointments.
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He is the one who has been reaching out to me, calling me, sending me money. Should I delete the messages to her? I feel the need to defend myself. I know he will lie and twist it anyways but I included screenshots to hopefully prove that I am being truthful
Cheers man. I hope it all works out for you!
You have no emotion towards him period. If you single imagine the possibilities. This can’t be real. You support him, you support him cheating. These are the two sides.
Your side – work/ sole financial support/ alone / lonely/ you spouse cheating on you/ you not enough he wants sex with other people/ STD / possibly future partner children you will pay the child support on/ him taking your house and leaving
Him- has his cake and eats it too .. with a 21 year old … in your bed
No it sounds like he is following her around at family events and creeping over her. Why is the family allowing this and shaming her sister instead of the pedophile harassing her? WTAF?
Only on-line friends, which arnt really real. And I work from home so im literally just alone 100% of the time unless he puts in an effort to take me out.
This right here.
He should think harder!
Basically he knows he has a issue so what is he doing in order not to have the issue?
He diagnosed himself? Did he see a doctor, asked for pills? Maybe therapy? Vacations? Something
I’m sorry. It sounds like this relationship isn’t working out for you.
”it’s alpha alright, alpha-ind myself a new guy!”
No, no. He was clearly violated.
First of all calm the attitude. Second of all, you’re concerned to bring up this specific thing with your husband because you’re worried he’ll bring up your past mistake and not forgive you (which either sounds manipulative or you really fucked up or both) as a result to be able to talk to him about it you need to fix the thing that prevents you from talking to him about it and to fix it you need therapy as a couple.
She's going to keep finding excuses to contact you. You do not owe her the courtesy of a response. You might want to start documenting your interactions (screenshotting texts, etc), she seems capable of some real nastiness. Better to get ahead of it if you need a restraining order or to protect yourself from accusations.
I get it. I think I’m too old for that kind of love :). Love is not a feeling for me, it’s an investment I make into another person. And I only make that investment when someone invest in me. Anything else, is just fantasies, liking or admiring.
You're 18 and it's your first time doing this, you're probably going to be a bit awkward. You'll have to embrace that.
The thing is, she's the same age as you and is also probably a bit awkward and naive. I wish I had realised, when I was a teenager, that women aren't a different species. They're not waiting for you to slip up to mock or upset you, they have the same fears and anxieties you do.
Just go for it, be honest, be polite but be straight forward. She might reject you, but I promise you it's not as bad as you feel.
You need your own hobbies and friends…
Your 24! This is the time to do that. You don’t get youth back.
you'll be going back for more apparently.
Yeah, unfortunately I am going back to school and this is the only way I can pay for it. I currently pay $1300 per month for my apartment and electric bill. When I move home I'll only be paying my mom $700, so I have more to put away for tuition. I would really like to avoid it but I'm having a very hot time saving anything each month as it is, and the $700 should really help my mom. I'm not the same person I was when I lived at home and I think I will be alright, but I'm not putting up with any of her shit.
Dump the girl. Now.
Sorry that some of us actually have standards and are against baby killing
I think the guy absolutely got his balls cut off early in the relationship and only now gets to realize it is not ok. Probably masturbated for an year while in a sexless relationship – what a sad mess that is.
4 months wasted, don't make it make it 5.
Sounds like he's generally a blunt person. I would say that you should talk to him about your sensitivity about your nose. If he's a good person, then he'll go “oh okay, no big deal” and let it be.
If he can't/won't do that, then you may have a bigger issue about communication/respect/boundaries.
Well he’s not just a nice guy. I’m sure he has some expectations from your girlfriend for the really nice $10,000 gift.
If he's literally not having any symptoms in front of others, for instance, covering his ears when children are crying or leaving because of a stubbed toe, then I would definitely call him out on it. Perhaps there is something else there that he enjoys out of the caring response he gets from you that he never got from others.
He may be exaggerating his symptoms but he may also be better at masking his condition in front of others. But you may also be too good at masking your irritation and skepticism of his condition, which he may be using for his own gain.
You can buy a house and land here.
There's a lot I want to say in regards to this situation but the important part to me was this.
You told him your feelings were sincerely hurt and cried and he laughed at you
You want that to be a pattern?