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OP there’s a scenario you may not have considered. You wrote that your ex is now married with a child.
What happens if his wife discovers the emotional affair and she decides to contact your husband and let him know?
Are you willing to take that chance? As others have written if your husband finds out on his own then your marriage will almost definitely be over. And if you don’t tell him you’ll be living with the fear that he’ll find out every single day for the rest of your marriage.
Your choice. And whatever you decide, do better, or leave him before you really hurt him.
The amount of people who have hellacious MILs, I would go with the latter here.
Count your blessings that your MIL is not a negative in your life and continue to smile and be thankful for any gifts you receive.
Not worth it, IMO.
I tried to make jokes to defuse the conversation but apparently I was making it worse. He would say he didn't like me acting disappointed when he turned me down and I'd try my best to control my reactions.
Personally I don't think a baby that young would be affected by Stuff happening in the same room, but idk a huge amount about babies so I could be wrong. Either way, pretty gross that he didn't clean up properly.
The thing is, she didn't know. He has participated in the lifestyle before, and she hasn't. He should've taken time to explain how it works to her. Besides, it doesn't seem that she can be one of those people who can have sex without emotion attached to it, so the whole swinging thing should probably stop for the sake of their marriage.
Is he muscly? If he has that extra testosterone it may lead to the anger outbursts, or steroids. He may literally not be able to control his anger, but either way you should probably leave
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There is something in this whole story that just doesn't mesh.
I don't believe to be wrong: I would bet he cheated on her.
Well, by admitting he would stick his dick in anything that was willing, he’s showing you that he isn’t really focused on building something with you OP.
I know there will be wildly varying opinions on this. But I’d be hurt in your shoes. He’s still out there finding some strange after spending what you probably saw as special time together over the holidays. You feel like it’s going somewhere, and then find out he’s finding other partners.
Personally I’d probably duck out of this and find someone else. These games are exhausting.
It boils down to whether or not you can see yourself getting intimate with someone who looks so much like your brother. If the answer is no, then don't try to force it.
I ain't your momma, but I bet she’d agree with me.
You broke up.
What he did, or however he did it while you were not together is not something that you get to have an opinion on, just like he doesn’t get to have an opinion on whatever you did while you were broken up.
If you have a problem with it, then leave, and this time don’t get back together. But you don’t get to try to make him feel bad for it. It’s your decision to accept it or not, just like it was your decision to break up.
No problem.
Although, I think it would be a good time to start fleshing out the discussion in general.
Make sure that you two are on the same page and it's something that is mutually open to in 10mo-years time (if you're holding off).
Her attitude is unacceptable but way less concerning than your boyfriend’s response to it.
If she treats you poorly, that’s one thing; you’re dating him, not her, so she can get over it or stay away. But your boyfriend not caring about how his mother is treating you is a huge red flag. He should absolutely be telling her to knock it off.
She did not gave a reason for the no contact. She only said she does not trust we will not get in an argue again, and that is the reason that she wants to stop and that she cant handle the discussions on whatsapp anymore, i promised to do better but she does not accept it. She does not give any explanation why she wants no contact at all now, her mom says she wants rest, we were really in love, i really dont understand how she can handle this having no contact at all
Sit her down for an adult conversation. You have both got to stop with the junkfood, join a gym, and join some hiking groups or activity groups. You cannot do this alone.
Tell her how you are feeling. Especially let her know that you want BOTH to get healthy. Focus on your future together.
If she doesn’t want to join, then there is your answer.
I see what ur saying and I just don’t think that’s true. That is something I brought up in our last argument and she said she would never do that for anyone. So I’m going to assume she’s hiding something else. I’m going to give it a few more months and if nothing comes of it I will let her go.
Why does he have to go home? Why can't he stay where you live, and get a local job over the summer?
Also, did the doctor specifically tell you that your mother likely has less than a year to live!? As a metastatic cancer patient myself, I stare at a lot of studies and prognoses and numbers, and one continual takeaway is that very few indicators can provide any kind of reliable survival window. Certain metastases, like leptomeningial disease, indicate a survival of only months, but other MBC patients can on-line anywhere from 3-10 years
The reason I am asking this question is that being somebody's caretaker is a very challenging role, and while it might be sustainable for 6 months, it might not be sustainable for 3-5 years or longer. Talk to your mother's doctors to be sure you understand what to expect, and to figure out whether it might be best to make some different arrangements for her primary caregiver duties. Start familiarizing yourself with and taking advantage of all the resources available as early as you can, so as things get more tiring, you already have the information you need to call in reinforcements
You have to remember that you're no good to anyone if you wear yourself down or burn yourself out, and you have a future of your own to look out for, too.
Good luck
There definitely are girls out there that are into it, personally speaking if you're willing you can always find someone who will like you for who you are and not for what they want to make out of you.
But starting relationships is so difficult, I understand why we tend to accept the very first we can come across.