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Or, she could just do the Maternity test first to prove to herself that her babies weren't switched. If the child isn't hers, it won't be his.
If the child is hers, then do the paternity test.
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You married an idiotic piece of shit. Now what will you do about it?
While sex with him makes you feel loved and whole, sex with you makes him feel dirty and guilty. This is a recipe for disaster.
You don't need to break up right now but agree to no more sex. Trying to convince him to keep having sex with you after he's told you how it makes him feel is abusive. And you don't want to be like you exs.
Take the no sex as a spiritual cleanse. Seek therapy to work through your past trauma, and when you truly feel like you have done the work to heal (notice I said you and not your bf) you should sit your bf down and discuss what his expectations of you as a wife are and your expectations of him as a husband. If you really think this is the man you will spend the rest of your life with you need to know just how big of a role religion will have in your life and if that's something you can live! with.
Wait what. You have been together for a year and he is having dinner alone at her place. And HE doesn’t think there is anything wrong with this. You sure they didn’t break up but remain as FWBs. This man has no respect for you and it will get worse over time. You need to slowly start to untangle your lives and plan your exit. The stress will only get worse. Respect is the most important thing in a relationship and he has none for you.
Yeah OP this is the way. If you’re not interested in the offer at all you need to make that clear to him.
If it was a woman complaining about a guy doing the same thing, I bet her tune would change completely.
Lmfao. You're getting what you asked for. She is probably using this open relationship to find her next guy.
Clearly initially she didn't want an open relationship. She probably still doesn't, but this way she can find her next step.
Also you don't actually have to have sex with both genders to be bisexual. You can find other women hot, and be sexually attracted with them without having to have sex with them to satisfy your sexuality.
In all honesty though, the person who asks for the open relationship has no right to complain about what their partner does on it. You should have set your boundary initially, but then she would have said no. Lol
But the problem is he barely pays attention to me as it is and I think this would only make our intimacy problems worse.
There are bigger issues at play here. If he doesn't pay much attention to you, and has started talking your ear off about non-monogamy when you want a monogamous relationship… What do you think will change for the better? If nothing changed, would you be happy with that for the rest of your life?
Until he wakes up with a STD.
Burning dick might make him realize he's with a cesspool. (I would say this if the genders were reversed as well)
I'm a hopeless romantic…go see the girl and express your love for her in person and if she says no… then let her go and get married. At least you have tried. But she can also say yes. You'll never know unless you see her.
I do not think you even spent enough time with him to know if he is right for you or not.
See if he will date you , A guy is usually not gonna use his whole weekend on a girl he does not care about.
You are 20… Truly, there is no way this guy is your forever guy. You don't want him to be. I know it is hot to imagine. I was supposed to marry the guy I was with at 20. He was a bonehead too. And I was an emotional young woman and stuff was very hot. Since then I had so many amazing boyfriends and now an amazing husband. Each one was better than the last until I got to my real forever. And damn….I had sooooo much fun. If I would have married the first guy….oh God I don't even want to think what my life would have been. I have traveled to 25 countries, have had amazing sex, have great stories. My first boyfriend has never left the country, been married twice, and last time I did talk to him, he was soooooo boring. Do not give so much of yourself and your energy to anyone else but yourself. Figure out your own joy, your own path. You have to know the one you are on is not going to end well. Every part of you seems like it knows this isn't right. If you are asking that question, you already know the answer. Wishing the answer was different will not change what the answer is. Don't ride this all the way. Save yourself.
First, I’m sorry when what you’ve dealt with and what you’re dealing with. I hope you’re able to get out of your situation as quickly and as safely as possible. I separately hope that you’ve been able to and are addressing your depression. I know I’m a stranger, but l still want to confidently say that your life is worth living and that you matter. If nothing else, you have at least two friends supporting as much.
So that’s what I’d like you to focus on over everything else no matter what I say next. To continue, you reached out to these two people in particular and they ignored you. They also have a pattern of ignoring you or at least showing you that they don’t care (you aren’t specific on that).
In saying that, can you be? Who are these people to you? What makes you friends? What have they done to show you that they don’t care?
I don’t want to suggest that you cut them out based on this alone. More context is needed.
Also, what’s your household situation and is it possible to get out of it?
I mean some people don’t like hairy genitals and that’s actually fine, the burgers 3 months ago took me out though.
Hey dude I'm really really happy to hear that and wish you all the best with it. Just want to clarify, I don't think you should feel shame at all over watching porn, totally normal and human thing to do. You just have to keep an eye on your mindset and consumption and make sure the scales don't tip too far over to the unhealthy side. You will slip up, but the important part is to keep striving towards becoming a better person, whatever that means to you. I speak from experience, so hope you know there's no judgement here
Good luck, hope you have a happier and healthier 2023 and that you find whatever or whoever you're looking for
Did you ask her why she was upset about it? If so, what did she say?
This is what cheaters say lol. When people tell you who they are, listen.
we have respect and we do love each other but i really wonder why he did this to me…he now listens to me and if something is bothering me he isn’t doing that, to be honest i’m kinda controlling right now
What the fuck. He's a piece of shit. Goddamn we need to start teaching self esteem ad core curriculum.
So the requested decrease doesn't seem to be motivated by merit (for example a decreasing rental market).
It seems to be driven by a need to make the numbers work. As in, I just need an additional $300, I'll ask for it from my bf.
This is a slippery slope. It would seem she is starting to see you as an ATM. When you say no, expect a timer to start on her starting to look for a new relationship.
Two months you’ve been with him. That’s not really a relationship…By all means talk to him about it but I have a feeling he won’t change much even when you mentioned to him before that make-out session that you didn’t like that sort of stuff.
Cope harder. You know you posted this because you’re mad he’s flirting with your friend instead of you. We all know that one girl who strings people along because it makes her feel better about herself. You aren’t fooling anyone.
And honestly you should’ve dumped James when he refused to stand up for you.
well he would break up with me and I’d go back to the ex. I wasnt cheating I was single. No I havent talked to the ex since he got married 3 yrs. He called me after 3 yrs I didnt pick up. I want to tell my bf but he will make it a huge deal problem
It doesn't actually sound to me like his prior reactions were playful at all but were instead more like very nervous reactions (followed up with clear “don't go there words”) which you misinterpreted and ignored as all being some kind of big joke to you. You have lacked empathy for respecting your BF's body boundaries because you found making him jump funny. If you repeatedly trigger someone too much, they will eventually flip and do something like this beyond their control. Your BF could have been a victim of childhood abuse and what went down might have been the result of you triggering a flashback from repeatedly pushing that boundary.
The latter point really can happen to people too; I know, because it happened to me.
I suffered a lot of abuse and neglect growing up and my partner used to think it was hilarious suprising me whilst I was in the bathtub with my eyes shut whilst washing my face or hair. I told them many times that touching me or overshadowing me whilst U was in this state was very unpleasant and stressful for me but they kept on doing it because whilst I would shock in fright in such incidences, I wouldn't get actively angry. I was getting increasingly unhappy because I was developing increasing anxiety but because it had been going on for so long the situation at that point just felt like a joke to my partner. Well one day my partner came into the bathroom whilst I was in the bath and overshadowed me (they were leaning over about to touch me) and suddenly I had a MASSIVE flashback to a time that my older brother tried to drown me in the bathtub when I was a child! During the flashback I suddenly started clawing wildly and at my partner (including at their face), unable to see and unable to think. When I came to I was hyperventilating and my partner was upset at how crazy I'd just been “out of the blue”, whilst all I could do was repeatedly say “I told you not to do that! I told you not to do that!” while I regained my senses. Afterwards, I finally told my partner of the childhood drowning incident, and they were pretty horrified to discover that what they thought had just been a daft silly little (and not particularly well understood reaction) game on their part had basically actually been a game of them repeatedly triggering childhood trauma responses until they finally completely rose to the surface, causing me to snap and experience a complete temporary mental break.
PLEASE ****ING RESPECT YOUR BF's PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES.
You are not the victim here. This poor dudes been nicely trying to tell you for ages that he doesn't like you trying to touch his butt crack to trigger a jump reflex. And if you repeatedly trigger physical reactions like that? One day you will cause someone to flip beyond their control!
Even if your BF doesn't have any childhood trauma, can you please just let the dude relax in peace? Your random attacks are giving him anxiety and making him feel like he can't even relax in his own bed around you.
Everything else you mention in the situation (his income, his employment status, etc) is irrelevant (and sorry, but no- its not gaining any sympathy on my end towards you).
This is supposed to be the easiest and best part of your relationship. That isn’t so awful and insecure speaks volumes. Please stay broken up for both of your future sakes.
Did you talk to any of his exes before you got married? This might be a pattern for him – lovebomb and rush to commitment before revealing his true self.
Don't let fear keep you in a terrible relationship. You made a mistake, extending the mistake by staying in a bad marriage hurts you the most. The people that you think will judge you for getting divorce will spend all of 5 seconds thinking about you before moving on with their lives.
Can you imagine your anniversary celebration? “Yes, it's been terrible since the second year but I chose fear of embarrassment over a chance to be happy, so here we are, X years later!”
The fact you need to ask about this is worrying. She fucking cheated on you. For what? Taking picture of her friends? You are so far in the Kool aid that you don't even realize that you are counting the cash for the guy robbing you. BTW your dignity fell out like 3 exits back.
With a large house, sure. But a one bedroom apartment doesn’t have that much space… not sure if we could afford a two bedroom in our area. And I would feel selfish taking an extra bedroom and making it my room if he wasn’t able to do the same.
I don’t really care what it is, and I’m pretty sure OP doesn’t either.